Retirement is a significant milestone that can bring a mix of emotions. For some, it's a long-awaited freedom to pursue passions and dreams. However, for others, it can be a daunting transition marked by uncertainty and a loss of identity tied to a career. In this article, we will explore the importance of identity, particularly during the retirement phase, and how discovering a deeper, more authentic you could make a significant difference during the retirement years.
Retirement is not just a change in routine; it is a transition in identity. Many individuals have built their sense of self around their careers, job titles and achievements. Some folks delay their retirement date for fear of not knowing who they are or what they will do.
Therefore, when the time comes to bid farewell to the workplace, they are left questioning who they are beyond their professional roles. It is crucial to recognize that retirement is a journey of self-discovery, where individuals are forced to confront the question: What makes me me?
From just $107.88 $24.99 for Kiplinger Personal Finance
Be a smarter, better informed investor.
Sign up for Kiplinger’s Free Newsletters
Profit and prosper with the best of expert advice on investing, taxes, retirement, personal finance and more - straight to your e-mail.
Profit and prosper with the best of expert advice - straight to your e-mail.
While certain behaviors may feel like part of one's identity, they can be limiting and prevent individuals from fully embracing the opportunities and joys of retirement. Let's explore some examples:
The Workaholic. Individuals who define themselves solely by their work become stagnate if they don’t find a purpose for their energy. One challenge is that such individuals may have used work to escape their relationships at home.
The Caregiver. If all you are doing is taking care of others, you neglect yourself and burn out. Giving to others starts with having a personal boundary and learning how and when to say “no.”
The Control Freak. If all you know is telling people what to do and when to do it, you will struggle with meaningful friendships and fail to experience an abundance during retirement. Learn to listen and be present.
The Perfectionist. This is a miserable way to live because you can’t let go. Practice the 80% rule: Get things done to 80% good enough. After that, it’s diminishing returns.
The Pessimist. You’re not a realist; you’re creating negative energy without solutions. Eliminate the glass-is-half-empty-or-half-full approach. Practice the neutral approach: That glass is at 50%.
The Martyr. This is self-medicating because you’re not connecting in a healthy manner. Look to make friends instead of taking hostages.
The Busy Bee. Practice being productive instead of busy. Learn to prioritize your time instead of managing it.
The Lone Wolf. Radical independence is the other end of codependence. It’s a different way to medicate your pain of not connecting and a lack of trust.
The Materialist. Keeping up with the Joneses or being the richest man in the graveyard does not create happiness, just a lack of fulfillment with more toys and things.
The Gossip. You don’t have friends; you have empty souls hanging around you who have neither an identity nor a purpose in life, and all of you feel empty, medicating a lack of connection.
At its core, identity is the essence of who we are, comprising traits, beliefs, values and experiences that shape our uniqueness based on universal principles. Our identities are often shaped by external factors, such as our jobs and societal expectations. However, true authenticity lies in being true to ourselves and shaping our lives based on a deep internal understanding.
As we transition into retirement, our identity determines our purpose. The fulfillment we experience stems from living out our purpose. The five core drives of identity and purpose are:
- Connecting is our innate drive to connect and attach to our community.
- Learning is the constant drive to learn, grow and change.
- Authenticity is discovering our true, best and authentic selves.
- Purpose is living in a way that supports our authentic self.
- Happiness, joy and well-being are the innate drives we search for, and when we don’t experience them, it hurts, and when it hurts, we medicate with harmful behavior.
Retirement can bring about new challenges and potential feelings of failure. It is essential to prepare for this phase by discovering our true selves and commencing the healing process. We can find happiness and joy in retirement by replacing misapplied or dysfunctional behaviors with ones that align with our authentic selves.
Here are three actionable steps you can employ now:
- Develop a new skill that you’ve always wanted (guitar, painting, language).
- Repair or develop a relationship with a loved one.
- Join a social, running or exercise club or group to meet new people.
Retirement is not just a time to stop working; it is an opportunity for self-discovery and embracing a new sense of identity and purpose. Retirees can develop a more authentic and fulfilling sense of self by recognizing and addressing dysfunctional patterns and behaviors. Embracing our true identity and purpose in retirement allows us to find happiness, joy and well-being in this new chapter of our lives.
Related Content
- How to Stop Boredom From Ruining Your Happy Retirement
- The Five Stages of Retirement (and How to Skip Three of Them)
- Can Money Buy You Happiness? Yes, It Can. However…
- Five Things I Wish I’d Known Before I Retired
- Retirees’ Anti-Bucket List: 10 Experiences You Don’t Want
-
The Seven Best-Paying Side Gigs For RetireesIf you're worried you won't have enough saved for a comfortable retirement, or that life after work will be boring, these well-paid roles could be the answer.
-
$40,000 CD vs $40,000 High-Yield Savings Account - 3 Things Savers Should Consider NowBoth options offer risk-free methods to grow your savings. Learn how much you can earn with each, how they differ and which one suits you best.
-
Gray Divorce Can Throw Your Retirement a Curveball: What to KnowIf you're entering retirement and going through a divorce at the same time, you've got some work to do to shore up your long-term financial security.
-
I'm a Real Estate Investing Expert: Optional 721 UPREIT DSTs Can Be the Best of Both WorldsBefore investing in any 721 UPREIT exchange, look for one that offers a straightforward, investor-friendly exit.
-
How an Expired Passport Thwarted Blackmail (and What Other Important Documents You Should Keep)An optometrist produced his expired passport to foil a blackmail attempt by the daughter of a former employee. After proving he was out of the country on the date of a forged diary entry, he took it a step further.
-
Optimize, Grow, Retain: The Power of Annual Client ReviewsFinancial advisers can use annual reviews to help enhance client outcomes, strengthen relationships and build their practice.
-
I'm a Real Estate Investing Pro: This Is What Investors Should Know About Truck Stop InvestmentsTruck stops might seem like good investments, but they can actually be a risky gamble due to unstable fuel prices, unreliable operators and coming changes in transportation. Instead, consider safer options like industrial or residential properties.
-
Don't Disinherit Your Grandchildren: The Hidden Risks of Retirement Account Beneficiary FormsStandard retirement account beneficiary forms may not be flexible enough to ensure your money passes to family members according to your wishes. Naming a trust as the contingent beneficiary can help avoid these issues. Here's how.
-
This Is How Life Insurance Can Fund Your Dreams NowBeyond a death benefit, life insurance can provide significant financial value and flexibility through 'living benefits' while you are still alive, helping with expenses like education, business ventures or retirement.
-
Potential Trouble for Retirees: A Wealth Adviser's Guide to the OBBB's Impact on RetirementWhile some provisions might help, others could push you into a higher tax bracket and raise your costs. Be strategic about Roth conversions, charitable donations, estate tax plans and health care expenditures.
