Want to Advance on the Job? Showing Some Courtesy Could Help

An older man and a younger woman have a conversation at work.

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Today's article was prompted by the chief human resources officer (CHRO) at a Texas-based agricultural sales company wanting to discuss a topic that she feels would be valuable for college students, recent graduates and new hires.

"I have been in HR for over 30 years at a company that places high value on a supportive, positive work environment. Never have I seen so many recent hires let go — some within a week! I am speaking of Gen Z, born from 1997 through 2012.

"Over and over again, we find some of them completely unprepared for actual employment and lacking fundamental social skills or anything resembling a work ethic.

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"In contrast to other generations, some in Gen Z have enormous deficits in their interpersonal skills. When it comes to showing appreciation — just saying 'thank you' — for help given to them by coworkers and supervisors, some reek of entitlement, have a lack of civility and say nothing.

"We offer summer internships for agricultural business majors and send students around the country — even abroad — for hands-on experiences. Seldom do any send a thank-you card, in our experience, or even call to express appreciation.

"In part, I blame their universities for not requiring students to take the time to show gratitude. This ghosting is an insult.

"Something's wrong. Perhaps some of the people you've interviewed over the years might have an explanation and insight for us. Thanks, 'Dallas' from Dallas."

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Dallas' comments about Gen Z are not new. A Cake.com study, Gen Z in the Workforce, reveals that 40% of leaders feel that some in Gen Z are not prepared for work. Seventy percent of managers said they feel Gen Z lacks communication skills and a work ethic.

Yet, in an NSHSS Career Interest report, 65% of Gen Zers "acknowledge they will have a lot to learn, and they're eager to do so."

I ran Dallas' comments by two business professors and friends of this column — Lyle Sussman, professor emeritus in the College of Business at the University of Louisville, and David D. Schein, professor in the Cameron School of Business at the University of St. Thomas-Houston. Here is their analysis, which I have paraphrased.

Our world of digital communication leads to a lack of interpersonal skills

Generation Z, unlike Baby Boomers, grew up with a remote control in their hand, never having to get up and manually change the channel on the TV. You just push a button, and there it is! This, among other things, has no doubt contributed to a sense of entitlement in some individuals that Boomers didn't experience.

Some Gen Z college students lack interpersonal skills in part because of a reliance on digital communication, which greatly reduces personal interaction and inhibits the learning of social cues, which can result in psychological immaturity.

In the working world, we expect civility and gratitude. An environment that lacks those elements can become toxic, impacting relationships with co-workers, vendors, investors and customers. People lose their jobs or quit. Employment litigation costs are impacted.

The professors commented that it all begins at home and wondered whether some children are actually taught manners these days.

It is fundamental — and common sense — to thank a colleague when, for example, a new hire in a sales organization is given a lead that becomes a sale. Failing to do so is a slap in the face to the colleague, which implies, "Why should I thank you? That's part of your job!"

Employees who lack such obligatory social skills damage morale and will not last long.

The key question today is, "What do we do with these young adults? How do we get them to understand the importance of what we are discussing? What can be done for an 18-year-old who grew up never hearing the words 'please' or 'thank you,' who had a remote control, cell phone and computer, all contributing to a sense of entitlement?"

Most likely, that person will have to learn the life lessons of being denied employment or not getting the promotion and, at some point, realize that they are the agent of their own fate, that their lack of being kind and considerate of the feelings of others is a form of self-sabotage.

Good manners are noticed, Sussman said. "When we see students interact in a mature way that exhibits good manners, as it is so rare, we think, 'That's a future successful person — a good boss or a competent, respected professional."

Another issue is that too many business students do not watch or read the news. "They need to know what is happening both on Wall Street and Main Street. By spending five or ten minutes a day with the news, they will be the person who stands out at a job interview," Schein suggested.

Filling in the gaps with etiquette coaches

Today, major corporations are employing etiquette coaches, who, during the onboarding process, advise new hires on how to diplomatically interact with colleagues and others. Being taught these principles from day one helps new employees see how positive interactions with coworkers and customers are essential to the company's culture.

They are shown how to smile while communicating, make eye contact, say "please" and "thank you." They're counseled on how to show empathy, to be human beings who are able to show concern for others.

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Both Sussman and Schein concluded our interview by suggesting a return to the way children were raised in the past.

"Somehow," Schein said, "families need to take a few steps back to the time when children were taught manners, could give good eye contact and truly listened instead of merely hearing."

What you can do

If you find yourself in a situation in which a colleague, Gen Z or otherwise, did not respond to you appropriately, Sussman recommends:

Schedule a face-to-face, private meeting with your coworker.
Assertively, not aggressively, describe what they said or did (offense by commission) or failed to say or do (error by omission).
Highlight why that was unacceptable.
Obtain a commitment that the specific offense will not be repeated and that they can and should do better.

Dennis Beaver practices law in Bakersfield, Calif., and welcomes comments and questions from readers, which may be faxed to (661) 323-7993, or e-mailed to Lagombeaver1@gmail.com. And be sure to visit dennisbeaver.com.

Disclaimer

This article was written by and presents the views of our contributing adviser, not the Kiplinger editorial staff. You can check adviser records with the SEC or with FINRA.

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After attending Loyola University School of Law, H. Dennis Beaver joined California's Kern County District Attorney's Office, where he established a Consumer Fraud section. He is in the general practice of law and writes a syndicated newspaper column, You and the Law. Through his column, he offers readers in need of down-to-earth advice his help free of charge. "I know it sounds corny, but I just love to be able to use my education and experience to help, simply to help. When a reader contacts me, it is a gift."