Since you can see this argument coming, head it off by laying down some rules before the money starts rolling in. That means both you and the kids will have to compromise.

On your part, lighten up. Relatives who give financial gifts often do so because they're not sure what to buy, and they actually prefer that kids spend the money on something they want or need. It's no fun for anyone if kids have to whisk all the money off to the bank.

On the other hand, it's reasonable for you to require that kids save at least part of the money. Adapt one of these systems to your family's circumstances:

• Save the checks, and let the kids spend the cash. My children tend to receive a combination of cash and checks as gifts, so in our household this system works pretty well -- usually.

Once, when my teenage son decided he didn't want to spend a couple of $50 bills he had received from his grandmother, we told him he could put the money in the bank. "The bank will let you deposit cash?" he asked in wonderment.

• Save a fixed percentage of the gift -- anywhere from 10% to 50%, depending on how much the kids get and what your preferences are. If you already require your kids to save a portion of their allowance and other income, extending the rule to gift money is a natural.



• Set up a sliding scale, based on how old your children are and how much they receive. For instance, preschoolers could be allowed to spend gifts of up to $20. Anything above that is saved for another day. Six- to 12-year-olds, with more expensive tastes and a better-developed sense of how much things cost, get to spend gifts of up to $50. Teens could have discretion over amounts up to $100.

Regardless of a child's age, gifts over $100 require some parental input. One dad whose son typically receives $200 from his grandmother for Christmas uses half of that to buy something the boy needs, such as a new winter jacket.