Why Does Talking About Money Still Feel So Taboo?
Financial issues affect everyone, yet many people are still afraid to talk about them. The good news is that younger generations are changing that.
I learned at age 11 that talking about money is a no-go.
My family was having a big dinner with aunts, uncles, grandparents and cousins all gathered around the table. The adults were chatting about politics, economics, health and more. The atmosphere was relaxed and cozy. Then someone learned that someone else had changed jobs.
“And how much are you making now?”
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The question sent a chill through the air, sending everyone into a moment of silence.
One of the aunties said, “Don’t ask that! You know we don’t talk about money at the table!”
The dinner and chatting resumed, but the moment left an impression on me.
This article is written by Anthony Martin, CEO and founder of Choice Mutual, where he is obsessed with finances, building tech and collaborating with other successful entrepreneurs.
Now, 30 years later — despite AI, social media and rapid market changes — talking about money remains just as taboo. Finances affect all of us, so why are we still so afraid to have these conversations?
After speaking with experts and doing some digging, I found some surprising answers.
Class and contextual variations
Jason Pack, the chief revenue officer at Freedom Debt Relief, talks about money with clients all the time. "Many people still find it uncomfortable to talk about money, especially with those closest to them,” he says. “They would rather discuss it with an expert, like the professionals on my team."
This with loved ones or friends is stronger in more wealthy and middle-class households, while working-class folks are more open to discussing prices, rent and the cost of living, though they still won’t discuss personal finances with just anyone.
The social context also has a strong influence on whether people think of talking about money as taboo. For instance, in democratic societies with strong ideals about meritocracy, talking about money can highlight class inequalities and potentially lead to social unrest and destabilization.
So, as societal structures grapple with inequality, the money taboo can serve as a stabilizing factor (for now, at least).
Psychological and emotional sensitivity
Money is often associated with strong negative emotions, such as anxiety, shame, fear or embarrassment.
High-net-worth individuals usually don’t promote their good fortune out of fear of being judged and/or taken advantage of. People who are less fortunate may feel there’s a perception that they’re not smart/clever/good enough to improve their finances.
“Too often, people confuse net worth with self-worth,” Molly Ancel, managing partner at Peerpoint Property Solutions, notes. “In reality, finances can fluctuate, and a person’s value isn’t defined by their bank account. Everyone deserves respect, support and the opportunity to build a better financial future.”
Gender roles and tradition
Let’s face it: Men are still paid more than women. Women have come a long way, but they’re still fighting to overcome the gender gap.
In addition, many companies discourage employees from discussing their salaries with colleagues. Due to the National Labor Relations Act, employers can’t legally tell employees not to talk about their pay, but it is still strongly frowned upon in various professional circles.
Also, the traditional family of the past often considered the man to be the financial provider. And when men don’t discuss family finances with their spouses, that often leaves women at a huge financial disadvantage. Luckily, younger generations are moving past this issue.
Lack of financial literacy and education
It doesn’t help that financial literacy often isn’t taught in school. Many of today’s students don’t learn about economics, finances or budgets in a way that’s relevant to them.
According to the World Economic Forum, about 50% of Americans lack financial literacy. The European Union is a little better, with only 43% of respondents scoring below average.
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“Too many employees today lack basic financial literacy, and it's costing them and us as employers,” Leon Huang, CEO of RapidDirect, says. “We need to treat financial education as essential, not optional."
The good news is that it’s easy to start learning about money at any age. You just need the right resources to get things rolling and the desire to learn.
If you’re ready to improve your financial literacy, here are a few tips to get you started:
Track where your money goes
When you track your spending, it’s easier to understand your habits and identify overspending. It also helps you make smarter financial choices based on the data you collect.
Make things easier and find a budgeting app, such as YNAB (You Need a Budget) or Goodbudget, to track exactly where your money’s going each month. You might be surprised how fast little expenses add up.
Read or listen to one money tip a day
Follow a finance blog, listen to a podcast like The Ramsey Show or Planet Money, or read one finance-related article a day. There are also apps, such as Investopedia or Zogo, that teach financial concepts in bite-sized lessons and easy-to-understand terms.
Understand your credit score
Your credit score affects everything from loan approvals to interest rates. Learn what factors impact it, how it impacts your own decisions and make it a habit to check it regularly (many banks offer this for free).
Know the basics of investing
You don’t have to become a stock market wizard, but it’s important to know at least the differences between 401(k)s, IRAs, ETFs and mutual funds. Who knows? Maybe you’ll find investing more interesting once you know what all these are about.
Take advantage of free resources
The U.S. government offers free financial tools and resources at MyMoney.gov, and many libraries offer free workshops or online courses. You can also find information online in various formats, though you need to make sure that the source is reliable. Do a bit of research and find what works for you.
Signs of change
Millennials and Gen Z are leading the change on this. Over 80% of those under age 34 are open to discussing their financial situation, savings and plans for the future.
Young people are also more likely to share their net worth, student loan balances and side hustle income on various social media platforms. This helps normalize talking about money in real and relatable ways.
On the other hand, they’re also more likely to get their financial advice from social media, which is not always the best option.
Additionally, companies are starting to embrace salary transparency to promote equity and attract top talent. This is especially true in tech and progressive industries, where job listings now often include salary ranges.
So, here we are. Due to a mix of generational norms, emotions, antiquated practices and lack of financial knowledge, talking about money is still taboo. But thanks to the younger generations, that may not continue to be the case in the future.
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