How (and Why) to Talk Money at Your Family Dinner Table
Believe it or not, your teenagers want to hear what you have to say about money and your family’s financial decisions. But be willing to listen, too.


Money used to be a taboo topic, even among close family members. But for a growing number of Americans, it’s now table stakes. While difficult to have, sensitive conversations about money are happening more often, and they are vital to ensuring people can plan for the wealth — and health — of their loved ones. Done well, these chats help family members understand each other’s short- and long-term needs and goals — and result in a strong financial plan everyone in the family is aligned with.
It’s also clear that intergenerational wealth discussions are happening sooner than ever. According to Northwestern Mutual’s Planning & Progress Study, the average American thinks the right time to start talking with kids about family finances is age 17. And among Millennials and Gen Z, there’s a desire to start even earlier. These conversations can help young people build a foundation of financial know-how to thrive in the years to come. But, more importantly, they can give families an opportunity to reconnect on expectations, values and their hopes for the future.
Parents may raise an eyebrow and wonder if their teenagers would be interested in a talk about money or family finances. You may be surprised, but the answer is an emphatic, “Yes!” Northwestern Mutual’s study revealed that family members are the most trusted source of financial advice for Gen Z, followed closely by financial advisers. As a mother of a teenage boy myself, that’s good news for families ready to have open conversations about money, and an opportunity for expert advisers to guide families’ financial decision-making.

Sign up for Kiplinger’s Free E-Newsletters
Profit and prosper with the best of expert advice on investing, taxes, retirement, personal finance and more - straight to your e-mail.
Profit and prosper with the best of expert advice - straight to your e-mail.
How to get started
It’s time to talk. Yet, a willingness to connect won’t make connecting effortless. Money conversations are difficult for most families because they can be emotionally charged. It often helps to have a trustworthy financial adviser at the table to navigate any sensitivities, account for blind spots and help ensure a judgment- and pressure-free discussion. Done well, these conversations can be empowering — helping to fuse a family even closer together. As Americans connect with their financial advisers for their annual financial checkups, I expect more people will add seats at the table for the next generation, so the entire family can prepare for their financial future together.
The research showed that just 3 in 10 (29%) U.S. adults have spoken with their parents or guardians about wills, their inheritance wishes and other estate matters, and only 43% have discussed long-term care. Once again, our data shows that younger generations want to have these talks sooner — and they’re right. Planning creates more opportunity. It gives people the freedom and the power to consider the full range of options for care and aging gracefully, and to make these decisions on their own while they have the capacity to do so.
Future generations will see the greatest wealth transfer in American history — Boomers shifting $90 trillion in wealth — mostly to loved ones. But inherited wealth isn’t indefinite wealth. Many affluent families lose their accumulated wealth by the second generation. Early preventive conversations are vital and ensure that intergenerational planning protects amassed wealth.
As parents consider when and how to involve their children in more complex or sensitive financial planning discussions, I recommend these three simple tips that can make for smoother money conversations.
1. Encourage your children to talk about their dreams and plans.
Many parents want to have open and honest money conversations with their teenagers. However, the most essential part of candid money discussions is to let your kids lead the conversation.
Let them talk about their financial goals and the decisions they may have to make, such as saving for college or buying a car — and then provide sound advice. Passing on financial strategies is critical to foster generational wealth, but these discussions have to be on our kids’ terms and timelines, not our own.
2. Talk about your assets and financial security.
If you have adult children, this is an optimal time to share any important information about an inheritance. If you plan to leave an inheritance, this may help build your children’s feelings of financial security. It’s important to discuss what the potential assets of your estate plan are, such as real estate, vehicles, artwork, family heirlooms and digital assets. Even if you don’t plan to leave an inheritance, the conversation will help the next generation understand what the future may hold and how to plan for it.
3. Share your long-term care plans.
Many parents have long-term care plans. These plans typically consider any potential costs related to in-home care or assisted living needs. Families should talk with their children about any plans in place, including items such as durable powers of attorney that detail the financial or medical decisions you want made on your behalf if you become unable to advocate for yourself. This is especially important if your child will serve as your financial power of attorney.
At the end of the day, people have to decide if they would prefer to have conversations with their family now or make very difficult decisions in the future. Younger generations wisely want to talk now. This is an opportunity for families to engage and get on the same page about the family’s financial situation, retirement expectations and long-term care arrangements, and ensure family wishes are understood, honored and planned for.
Because of the high emotions — and high stakes — involved, consulting a trusted financial adviser can be a great resource for help. But ultimately, what matters most is to keep the lines of communication open and the conversation ongoing.
Related Content
- Five Generational Money Taboos That Must Die
- Discussing Family Legacy Plans? Five Tips to Navigate ‘the Talk’
- Financial Planning Should Be Intergenerational
- Five Things to Teach Your Kids About Money and Happiness
- What I Learned From a Family Investing Competition
Profit and prosper with the best of Kiplinger's advice on investing, taxes, retirement, personal finance and much more. Delivered daily. Enter your email in the box and click Sign Me Up.

Aditi Javeri Gokhale holds executive accountabilities for Northwestern Mutual’s strategy to drive growth, competitiveness and relevance. In addition, she leads teams that oversee more than $540 billion in company and client assets, including over $325 billion in the institutional investment portfolio and $215 billion in retail client assets. She is also accountable for NM Future Ventures (the company’s venture investing arm) along with digital disruptor, Wyshbox.
-
Don’t Miss Apple and Walmart Back-to-School Tax-Free Holiday Savings this Summer
Sales Tax Select states host sales tax holidays during the summer. Here’s what you can purchase.
-
The Rule of Retirement Inversion
The rule of retirement inversion says that to have a great retirement, you must ask yourself what would ruin a great retirement — and then plan to avoid it.
-
How Divorced Retirees Can Maximize Their Social Security Benefits: A Case Study
Susan discovered several years after she filed for Social Security that she is eligible to receive benefits based on her ex-spouse's earnings record. This case study explains how her new benefits are calculated and what her steps are to claim some of the money she missed.
-
From Piggy Banks to Portfolios: A Financial Planner's Guide to Talking to Your Kids About Money at Every Age
From toddlers to young adults, all kids can benefit from open conversations with their parents about spending and saving. Here's what to talk about — and when.
-
I'm an Investment Pro: Here's How Alternatives Could Inject Stability and Growth Into Your Portfolio
Alternative investments can often avoid the impact of volatility, counterbalancing the ups and downs of stocks and bonds during times of market stress.
-
A Financial Planner's Guide to Unlocking the Power of a 529 Plan
529 plans are still the gold standard for saving for college, especially for affluent families, though they are most effective when combined with other financial tools for a comprehensive strategy.
-
An Investment Strategist Takes a Practical Look at Alternative Investments
Alternatives can play an important role in a portfolio by offering different exposures and goals, but investors should carefully consider their complexity, costs, taxes and liquidity. Here's an alts primer.
-
Ready to Retire? Your Five-Year Business Exit Strategy
If you're a business owner looking to sell and retire, it can take years to complete the process. Use this five-year timeline to prepare and stay on track.
-
A Financial Planner's Prescription for the Headache of Multiple Retirement Accounts
Having a bunch of retirement accounts can cause unnecessary complications. Consolidation can make it easier to manage your savings and potentially improve investment outcomes.
-
Overpaying for Financial Advice? A Financial Planner's Guide to Fees
Take five minutes to review how much you're paying for financial advice. If you're overpaying, you could be better off with an adviser who charges a flat fee.