Discussing Family Legacy Plans? 5 Tips to Navigate ‘the Talk’
A successful plan to pass wealth on to future generations takes effective communication delivered with a dose of sensitivity.


Passing wealth through generations can be fraught with complexity. Money is often an emotionally charged topic, and an older generation’s plans and intent for transferring wealth can trigger an array of reactions from younger family members.
Recent projections show that by 2045, $72.6 trillion will be passed on to heirs, and another $11.9 trillion will be donated to charities. The sheer magnitude of this generational wealth transfer amplifies the need for families to develop, and talk through, detailed legacy plans.
I often work with clients to coordinate a comprehensive multi-generational meeting where family members can come together in a safe, neutral space for the older generation to communicate their financial and non-financial plans to younger generations. For families – regardless of wealth level – looking to utilize a similar concept, below are five tips to make this meeting successful.
From just $107.88 $24.99 for Kiplinger Personal Finance
Be a smarter, better informed investor.

Sign up for Kiplinger’s Free Newsletters
Profit and prosper with the best of expert advice on investing, taxes, retirement, personal finance and more - straight to your e-mail.
Profit and prosper with the best of expert advice - straight to your e-mail.
Preparation is key
For older generations interested in bringing their family together to discuss legacy plans and the future passing of wealth, the preparation before the meeting is paramount. Not only should the legacy plan be mapped out well in advance, but thoughtful consideration should go into the actual meeting. Who from the family should attend? Where will multiple generations meet? Is travel involved? Is it best to conduct the meeting around the holidays when families will be near one another?
Prepare for – and even practice – specific conversations that are critical to have, and determine the level of detail to share with family members. Doing this legwork upfront allows the older generation to be in the driver’s seat during the meeting.
Plan to have an objective third party present
Ideally this will be a trusted financial adviser, an attorney or an estate planner. A third-party, objective partner will be able to guide a productive conversation, helping the older generation to articulate their plan and prepare younger generations for their future roles and responsibilities to ensure everyone is on the same page.
Anticipate problematic conversations
Ahead of the family meeting, visualize how certain family members may react to decisions. For example, if a sibling is likely to become upset over an unequal inheritance, anticipate and prepare for how the conversation should be navigated. Share specific insight into why that decision was made. Flagging sensitive conversations in advance, and preparing a response with your trusted adviser, can help determine the best strategy for the family discussion to come.
Understand the meeting doesn’t have to disclose dollars
While the older generation may feel tempted to outwardly define exactly how much money will be passed to heirs and charities, it can be more beneficial to keep the conversation high-level, so families don’t get caught up in discussions around who gets what.
Talk about goals rather than dollars, and most importantly, know that an inheritance can be equal, but not equalized. Meaning, perhaps one sibling (who is single) receives an outright inheritance while another sibling (married with children) has a trust set up where they can withdraw funds to support, for example, their children’s future college needs. The ongoing trust can continue the generational legacy planning should this child have descendants.
Walk away from the meeting defining clear roles and responsibilities
The overarching goal of the meeting is for the older generation to lay out their financial and non-financial wishes and have family members clearly understand future roles and responsibilities. The older generation should consider younger family members’ interests, time commitments and other factors as they coordinate who is most appropriate to tackle different roles within the legacy planning process.
For example, is one adult child more equipped to serve as a trustee, managing their parents’ legacy plan and executing their future wishes? Will another adult child be better equipped to handle non-financial matters, such as vetting future living arrangements and taking this older generation to doctor appointments? This emotional support is an important role to define but can often go overlooked.
While this initial multi-generational meeting is foundational to the wealth transfer process, it is a conversation that likely will not start and end with one session. Older generations should continuously mentor younger generations to educate, inform and align them on future family values and goals. That said, the overall legacy plan is something that should be reviewed annually or when larger life events trigger the need to reassess the plan.
Profit and prosper with the best of Kiplinger's advice on investing, taxes, retirement, personal finance and much more. Delivered daily. Enter your email in the box and click Sign Me Up.

Julie Virta, CFP®, CFA, CTFA is a senior financial adviser with Vanguard Personal Advisor Services. She specializes in creating customized investment and financial planning solutions for her clients and is particularly well-versed on comprehensive wealth management and legacy planning for multi-generational families. A Boston College graduate, Virta has over 25 years of industry experience and is a member of the CFA Society of Philadelphia and Boston College Alumni Association.
-
I'm a Financial Planner: Here's How to Invest Like the Wealthy, Even if You Don't Have Millions
Private market investments, once exclusive to the ultra-wealthy and institutions, have become more accessible to individual investors, thanks to regulatory changes and new investment structures.
-
Four Ways a Massive Emergency Fund Can Hurt You More Than It Helps
Saving too much could mean you're missing opportunities to put your money to work. Redirect some of that money toward paying off debt, building retirement funds, fulfilling a dream or investing in higher-growth options.
-
I'm a Financial Planner: How to Dodge a Retirement Danger You May Not Have Heard About
Timing is everything, and sequence of returns risk can mean the difference between a retirement nest egg that's overflowing … or empty.
-
Caring for Aging Parents: An Expert Guide to Easing the Financial and Emotional Strain
Early conversations, financial planning and understanding the progression of care needs can help to mitigate stress and protect family relationships.
-
I'm a Financial Adviser: The OBBB Is a Reminder for Older People to Have a Long-Term Plan
The new tax bill presents a good opportunity for retirees to revisit tax plans, look into doing some Roth conversions and consider plans for long-term care.
-
I'm an Insurance Expert: This Is Exactly Why Your Insurance Rates Are Soaring (and What You Can Do)
A dramatic rise in the frequency and cost of severe weather and wildfires means you need to prepare, prepare, prepare — no matter where you live — for higher premiums.
-
Q3 2025 Post-Mortem From an Investment Adviser: Markets Continue to Climb, Gold Shines
The third quarter saw market gains driven by Fed rate cuts and strong earnings, despite high valuations and concerns about speculative trading and job growth. Gold and international stocks could be potential hedges.
-
Moving Abroad? You Might Need a Cross-Border Financial Adviser
If you want to live in another country long term, you could benefit from an expert's guidance. Here's how to find a good qualified adviser to help with residency requirements, documentation, financial laws and tax impacts.