As my town is located 100 miles north of Los Angeles, it is an ideal stopover for people driving to destinations north or south on Highway 99 or Interstate 5 and has afforded me the chance to meet readers, who are always welcome to drop by our office for coffee.
For the past several years, two couples have made this a yearly event. “Sam” and “Jake” are retired psychiatrists, in their late 80s and have been married for more than 20 years to lovely women they met on a golf driving range and who are 25 years younger than they are. Sam, who is married to “Julie,” has admitted to me privately that he “didn’t want a third marriage.”
Over these yearly visits, I’ve learned they are well-off and reside in 4,000-square-foot homes. They have no debt and have assets and rental income that make paying for utilities no problem. However, fear has begun to haunt Sam.
Sign up for Kiplinger’s Free E-Newsletters
Profit and prosper with the best of expert advice on investing, taxes, retirement, personal finance and more - straight to your e-mail.
Profit and prosper with the best of expert advice - straight to your e-mail.
'My wife wants us to get solar panels'
Before this year’s visit, Sam phoned to say, “My wife is pressuring me to get a solar panel system installed because several of our friends in the area are putting these systems in, using a one-person company recommended by their wives’ massage therapist. But the expense and time for a payback can’t be justified at our age and limited life expectancy, and I would like you to discuss this with all four of us when we come down.”
As planned, we discussed buying or leasing a solar system, the fact that they would need to install a new roof ($15,000), neither had family at all interested in inheriting a house with solar panels, and selling a home with solar panels is no walk in the park.
Sam’s and Jake’s age weighed heavily against them living long enough to see a return on investment of the at least $40,000 that installing solar panels would cost them. A solar system plus battery backup adequate for the size of their homes would take a minimum of 15 years to achieve a payback. As they had no financial issue with paying for energy, getting solar at their age wouldn’t make sense. Plus, they could not assume their children or an eventual buyer of the home would even want their solar system or any system.
I printed out several articles — with pros and cons — that I urged them to all read before the sales presentation that had been arranged by the massage therapist for the following week. When they left our office, it was clear that everyone agreed they just didn’t need solar.
Then came the high-pressure sales presentation
Both men phoned the day after the high-pressure, you’ve-got-to-sign-today-to-get-these-prices sales presentation, which was attended by the massage therapist.
“Would you believe it?” Jake said. “Sam’s wife wanted to sign for a $70,000 system, with battery backup, right then, but he put his foot down.”
Sam was almost in tears, his voice trembling, and he kept repeating, “I can’t go through another divorce at my age.”
Later that day, Jake called back: “I am worried about Sam. Julie is trying to please the massage therapist.”
Within hours, Sam called back, too, and said, “Well, I’ve got to keep Julie happy, so we will probably buy something from the guy.”
What this really looks like
I ran this situation by California private investigator Riley Parker to ask him what could be done to protect Sam from what looks like elder financial abuse.
He replied, “Dennis, cops and private investigators tend to become cynical, as we see so many of these situations. While there are, of course, wonderful marriages with large age differences, what you are describing here just feels like a wife who could be seeking, and finding, a different kind of attention than her husband can provide. It is obvious there is no way to justify solar at their ages. Someone had better protect Sam’s assets, as Julie may already have begun taking advantage of him. Possibly, his son or daughter could be appointed to take charge of his affairs. Also, Sam obviously knew this solar scheme didn’t feel right, and most people would stop there, but he caved in. That is serious. Sam’s best defense is common sense and gut feeling.”
I asked Parker whether it would help to know more about the massage therapist, by doing a background or licensing check.
Parker said, “California is one state where there is no license requirement to be a massage therapist, but even if he were licensed, he should not be the focus. Sam needs to have an accountant go through his assets to see what, if anything, is missing. If he can trust his adult children, then he needs to open up to them. We do not know what his wife has done. Is she waiting for him to die? That is a serious question, especially if there are unexplained withdrawals from his bank accounts. A divorce could be the least of his worries, even at his age.”
For information about how to prevent elder financial abuse, see the article Seven Ways to Protect Older Adults from Financial Abuse.
Dennis Beaver practices law in Bakersfield, Calif., and welcomes comments and questions from readers, which may be faxed to (661) 323-7993, or e-mailed to Lagombeaver1@gmail.com. And be sure to visit dennisbeaver.com.
Related Content
- Financial Abuse Is on the Rise: What It Is and What to Do About It
- What to Do to Protect Your Finances When Your Spouse Has a Gambling Problem
- Signs of Financial Abuse in Marriage: What to Watch For
- I Listened to a Pitch for a Possible Bitcoin Scam So You Don’t Have To
- I’ve Been Scammed Twice: Here’s How You Can Avoid That
-
Ten Cheapest Places to Live in TexasProperty Tax Looking for a cheap place to live in Texas? Look no further. These counties have the lowest property tax bills in the Lone Star State.
-
AI Is Missing the Wisdom of Older Adults: What It Means for YouAI will increasingly affect your healthcare and finances, but young workers are primarily designing the systems and getting most of the jobs.
-
The Three C's to Financial Success: A Financial Planner's Guide to Build WealthConsistency, commitment and confidence in your chosen strategy are more critical to your financial success than finding the 'perfect' financial plan.
-
A Financial Adviser's Guide to Solving Your Retirement Puzzle: Five Key PiecesIf retirement's a puzzle you're struggling with, try answering these five questions. The answers will guide you toward a solution.
-
You're Close to Retirement and Cashed Out: How Do You Get Back In?If you've been scared into an all-cash position, it's wise to consider reinvesting your money in the markets. Here's how a financial planner recommends you can get back in the saddle.
-
After the Disaster: An Expert's Guide to Deciding Whether to Rebuild or RelocateHomeowners hit by disaster must weigh the emotional desire to rebuild against the financial realities of insurance coverage, unexpected costs and future risk.
-
A Financial Expert's Tips for Lending Money to Family and FriendsWhat starts as a lifeline can turn into a minefield if the borrower ghosts the lender. Following these three steps can help you avoid family feuds over funds.
-
What the HECM? Combine It With a QLAC and See What HappensCombining a reverse mortgage known as a HECM with a QLAC (qualifying longevity annuity contract) can provide longevity protection, tax savings and liquidity for unplanned expenses.
-
721 UPREIT DSTs: Real Estate Investing Expert Explores the Hidden RisksPotential investors need to understand the crucial distinction between a REIT's option to buy a Delaware statutory trust's property and its obligation.
-
I'm an Insurance Expert: Yes, You Need Life Insurance Even if the Kids Are Grown and the House Is Paid OffLife insurance isn't about you. It's about providing for loved ones and covering expenses after you're gone. Here are five key reasons to have it.
