If It Looks Like Elder Financial Abuse, It May Be Just That
Here's the story of an older man, his much younger wife, her massage therapist and a solar panel salesman. Knowing the red flags for financial abuse is key.
As my town is located 100 miles north of Los Angeles, it is an ideal stopover for people driving to destinations north or south on Highway 99 or Interstate 5 and has afforded me the chance to meet readers, who are always welcome to drop by our office for coffee.
For the past several years, two couples have made this a yearly event. “Sam” and “Jake” are retired psychiatrists, in their late 80s and have been married for more than 20 years to lovely women they met on a golf driving range and who are 25 years younger than they are. Sam, who is married to “Julie,” has admitted to me privately that he “didn’t want a third marriage.”
Over these yearly visits, I’ve learned they are well-off and reside in 4,000-square-foot homes. They have no debt and have assets and rental income that make paying for utilities no problem. However, fear has begun to haunt Sam.
Sign up for Kiplinger’s Free E-Newsletters
Profit and prosper with the best of expert advice on investing, taxes, retirement, personal finance and more - straight to your e-mail.
Profit and prosper with the best of expert advice - straight to your e-mail.
'My wife wants us to get solar panels'
Before this year’s visit, Sam phoned to say, “My wife is pressuring me to get a solar panel system installed because several of our friends in the area are putting these systems in, using a one-person company recommended by their wives’ massage therapist. But the expense and time for a payback can’t be justified at our age and limited life expectancy, and I would like you to discuss this with all four of us when we come down.”
As planned, we discussed buying or leasing a solar system, the fact that they would need to install a new roof ($15,000), neither had family at all interested in inheriting a house with solar panels, and selling a home with solar panels is no walk in the park.
Sam’s and Jake’s age weighed heavily against them living long enough to see a return on investment of the at least $40,000 that installing solar panels would cost them. A solar system plus battery backup adequate for the size of their homes would take a minimum of 15 years to achieve a payback. As they had no financial issue with paying for energy, getting solar at their age wouldn’t make sense. Plus, they could not assume their children or an eventual buyer of the home would even want their solar system or any system.
I printed out several articles — with pros and cons — that I urged them to all read before the sales presentation that had been arranged by the massage therapist for the following week. When they left our office, it was clear that everyone agreed they just didn’t need solar.
Then came the high-pressure sales presentation
Both men phoned the day after the high-pressure, you’ve-got-to-sign-today-to-get-these-prices sales presentation, which was attended by the massage therapist.
“Would you believe it?” Jake said. “Sam’s wife wanted to sign for a $70,000 system, with battery backup, right then, but he put his foot down.”
Sam was almost in tears, his voice trembling, and he kept repeating, “I can’t go through another divorce at my age.”
Later that day, Jake called back: “I am worried about Sam. Julie is trying to please the massage therapist.”
Within hours, Sam called back, too, and said, “Well, I’ve got to keep Julie happy, so we will probably buy something from the guy.”
What this really looks like
I ran this situation by California private investigator Riley Parker to ask him what could be done to protect Sam from what looks like elder financial abuse.
He replied, “Dennis, cops and private investigators tend to become cynical, as we see so many of these situations. While there are, of course, wonderful marriages with large age differences, what you are describing here just feels like a wife who could be seeking, and finding, a different kind of attention than her husband can provide. It is obvious there is no way to justify solar at their ages. Someone had better protect Sam’s assets, as Julie may already have begun taking advantage of him. Possibly, his son or daughter could be appointed to take charge of his affairs. Also, Sam obviously knew this solar scheme didn’t feel right, and most people would stop there, but he caved in. That is serious. Sam’s best defense is common sense and gut feeling.”
I asked Parker whether it would help to know more about the massage therapist, by doing a background or licensing check.
Parker said, “California is one state where there is no license requirement to be a massage therapist, but even if he were licensed, he should not be the focus. Sam needs to have an accountant go through his assets to see what, if anything, is missing. If he can trust his adult children, then he needs to open up to them. We do not know what his wife has done. Is she waiting for him to die? That is a serious question, especially if there are unexplained withdrawals from his bank accounts. A divorce could be the least of his worries, even at his age.”
For information about how to prevent elder financial abuse, see the article Seven Ways to Protect Older Adults from Financial Abuse.
Dennis Beaver practices law in Bakersfield, Calif., and welcomes comments and questions from readers, which may be faxed to (661) 323-7993, or e-mailed to Lagombeaver1@gmail.com. And be sure to visit dennisbeaver.com.
Related Content
- Financial Abuse Is on the Rise: What It Is and What to Do About It
- What to Do to Protect Your Finances When Your Spouse Has a Gambling Problem
- Signs of Financial Abuse in Marriage: What to Watch For
- I Listened to a Pitch for a Possible Bitcoin Scam So You Don’t Have To
- I’ve Been Scammed Twice: Here’s How You Can Avoid That
Get Kiplinger Today newsletter — free
Profit and prosper with the best of Kiplinger's advice on investing, taxes, retirement, personal finance and much more. Delivered daily. Enter your email in the box and click Sign Me Up.
After attending Loyola University School of Law, H. Dennis Beaver joined California's Kern County District Attorney's Office, where he established a Consumer Fraud section. He is in the general practice of law and writes a syndicated newspaper column, "You and the Law." Through his column, he offers readers in need of down-to-earth advice his help free of charge. "I know it sounds corny, but I just love to be able to use my education and experience to help, simply to help. When a reader contacts me, it is a gift."
-
Stock Market Today: Dow Logs Longest Losing Streak Since April
The November Producer Price Index showed that inflation remains a tough beast to tame.
By Karee Venema Published
-
Why Uber Stock Is Volatile After GM's Cruise Announcement
Uber stock is swinging this week following news that General Motors is restructuring its Cruise unit. Here's what you need to know.
By Joey Solitro Published
-
Three Possible Tax Impacts for Retirees Under Trump
How might a second Trump term affect your tax bill in retirement — or the inheritance tax bill for your heirs? This pro has three predictions.
By Evan T. Beach, CFP®, AWMA® Published
-
What to Know About Leverage and Bitcoin's Meteoric Rise
Leverage in the financial world can lead to astonishing success or a crushing collapse. How are investors using leverage to invest in bitcoin?
By Stephen P. Harbeck Published
-
How Do You Know When It's Time to Change Financial Advisers?
Sometimes a breakup is for the best. Here's how to handle 'the talk' and make the switch to a new professional who's a better fit for you.
By Kelli Kiemle, AIF® Published
-
The Best Ways to Use Your Year-End Bonus (and the Worst)
'National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation' shouldn't be anyone's go-to for financial advice, but it does remind us how not to spend a holiday bonus.
By Frank J. Legan Published
-
LLCs: Power Tools That Can Create Big Problems
Forming an LLC for your business might seem like a straightforward endeavor, but if you don't know exactly what you're doing, trouble could follow.
By Rustin Diehl, JD, LLM Published
-
Never Talk About Money? For Women, That Can Spell Disaster
How can you plan for retirement when your husband holds the purse strings and talking about money is taboo? Help is at hand for this common problem for women.
By Cynthia Pruemm, Investment Adviser Representative Published
-
How Combining Your Home Equity and IRA Can Supercharge Your Retirement
While many retirees own an IRA and a home, very few are considering how they could work together in a plan for retirement income.
By Jerry Golden, Investment Adviser Representative Published
-
The Six Estate Planning Steps Every Blended Family Must Take
Whether your blended family is newly formed or fully fledged, use these six steps to review your estate plans now and lower the risk of conflict in the future.
By Stephen B. Dunbar III, JD, CLU Published