Are You Jeopardizing Your Future to Help Your Adult Kids? An Expert Guide for How to Not Do That
If your adult child needs financial help, of course you want to provide it, but crafting a plan that also protects your financial and emotional well-being is vital.


As life gets more expensive, one trend is accelerating: Parents are providing ongoing financial support to their adult children.
It might start with help covering rent, student loans or groceries, but more often, that support stretches further than expected. This generosity, while well-intentioned, can chip away at a parent's budget and derail financial goals.
I don't think anyone plans to be their child's financial backup indefinitely. But between high housing costs, job instability and student debt, many young adults need a hand to stay afloat.
From just $107.88 $24.99 for Kiplinger Personal Finance
Be a smarter, better informed investor.

Sign up for Kiplinger’s Free Newsletters
Profit and prosper with the best of expert advice on investing, taxes, retirement, personal finance and more - straight to your e-mail.
Profit and prosper with the best of expert advice - straight to your e-mail.
The Kiplinger Building Wealth program handpicks financial advisers and business owners from around the world to share retirement, estate planning and tax strategies to preserve and grow your wealth. These experts, who never pay for inclusion on the site, include professional wealth managers, fiduciary financial planners, CPAs and lawyers. Most of them have certifications including CFP®, ChFC®, IAR, AIF®, CDFA® and more, and their stellar records can be checked through the SEC or FINRA.
I've seen parents step in with everything from cosigned loans to early inheritance gifts. In many cases, they don't think of it as a risk — it's just helping family.
Financial help can add up fast
But the reality is, these gestures add up. I've worked with members of Affinity Federal Credit Union who have delayed retirement, paused saving, even dipped into emergency funds meant for health care or home repairs.
Some take on new debt to keep helping, assuming they'll catch up later. That's a hard cycle to break.
What doesn't get talked about enough is the cost of this support, which is not just financial, but emotional. Some trade-offs I see regularly include reducing retirement contributions, scaling back on health care or postponing life goals such as relocating or downsizing.
Other parents take out Parent PLUS or personal loans to cover a child's education or help with a mortgage. Parents do this out of love, no question. But few stop to ask: "Can I afford this without compromising my own future?"
Think of boundaries as tools
I encourage parents to think of boundaries not as barriers, but as tools that protect everyone involved. Being clear about what you can offer — and what you can't — prevents misunderstandings and keeps financial conversations grounded in reality.
At Affinity, we often guide members through these discussions with their children. That might mean setting a timeline for rent support or encouraging the child to contribute to household expenses.
When handled openly, these conversations actually strengthen family dynamics rather than damage them.
Community-based institutions such as Affinity are built for such moments. They help members make thoughtful decisions, not just take out a loan.
Looking for expert tips to grow and preserve your wealth? Sign up for Building Wealth, our free, twice-weekly newsletter.
That help might include financial coaching, planning tools that show how continued support could affect your retirement timeline or loan structures that minimize risk for older members who still want to help.
They also offer resources for mental well-being, because the stress of supporting others financially often takes an emotional toll.
Conversations head off misunderstandings
We've seen how impactful it can be when families engage in intergenerational planning. Parents and adult children who sit down with a neutral financial expert tend to come away with more clarity, fewer misunderstandings, and a better sense of shared responsibility.
Those conversations can be uncomfortable, but they're often the turning point toward independence on one side and peace of mind on the other.
Supporting adult children isn't the issue — the issue is doing it without a plan. You can be generous without putting your own future at risk. The key is being honest with yourself, and with your kids, about what's sustainable.
Your financial well-being matters. It's what makes you able to help in the first place.
Related Content
- Three Ways to Help Your Adult Children Without Spoiling Them
- The Real Cost of Funding Adult Children: Postponing Retirement
- Children Can't Afford to Fly the Nest? Here's How to Help
- Should You Help Your Adult Children Buy a Home?
- Six Strategies for Retiring on a Fixed Income
Profit and prosper with the best of Kiplinger's advice on investing, taxes, retirement, personal finance and much more. Delivered daily. Enter your email in the box and click Sign Me Up.

Kevin Brauer, a distinguished finance industry professional with over three decades of experience, has been at the helm of Affinity Credit Union as CEO and President since January 2023. His substantial contribution to Affinity over the past seven years has been instrumental in propelling the firm's value proposition and innovating its financial well-being initiatives. Brauer leads Affinity's dedicated team of 500 employees at its Basking Ridge, N.J., headquarters and throughout its 18-plus branches.
-
Government Shutdown Puts IPO Resurgence at Risk
The IPO market has been sizzling in recent months, but the government shutdown threatens to put a short-term halt to public offerings. Here's why.
-
Florida Residents Could Soon Get Property Tax Relief
Property Tax The push for a solution to end high property taxes could lead to significant tax cuts in the Sunshine State next year.
-
Government Shutdown Puts IPO Resurgence at Risk
The IPO market has been sizzling in recent months, but the government shutdown threatens to put a short-term halt to public offerings. Here's why.
-
Amazon AI on Prime Day: Deal Helper or Upsell Machine?
Amazon’s Rufus chatbot, Alexa voice deals, and Amazon Lens can change how you shop on Prime Day. Here’s how to use them wisely — and avoid being upsold.
-
Q3 2025 Post-Mortem From an Investment Adviser: Markets Continue to Climb, Gold Shines
The third quarter saw market gains driven by Fed rate cuts and strong earnings, despite high valuations and concerns about speculative trading and job growth. Gold and international stocks could be potential hedges.
-
Moving Abroad? You Might Need a Cross-Border Financial Adviser
If you want to live in another country long term, you could benefit from an expert's guidance. Here's how to find a good qualified adviser to help with residency requirements, documentation, financial laws and tax impacts.
-
Government Shutdown Could Delay 2026 Social Security COLA Announcement
The shutdown of the federal government has thrown a wrench in the 2026 COLA calculations. Here is what you need to know as we wait for the forced furloughs to end.
-
S&P 500 Sees New Highs on Shutdown Day: Stock Market Today
Most of its components were in the red, but the S&P 500 Index still managed to hit a new intraday all-time high.
-
What Happens to Your Money in a Government Shutdown?
From benefit checks to IRS delays, here’s what could affect your wallet if the government shuts down.
-
What Happens to National Parks During a Government Shutdown?
A guide to what stays open and what's at risk — and how to plan your park trips when federal funding stalls.