Congratulations! You have figured out a way to make a thank-you note that's a gift in itself, and to have fun doing it.

At this time of year, I'm often asked about thank-you etiquette by harried parents seeking reassurance that with so much else on their plates it's okay to skip a written note, especially when a personal thank-you is only a convenient phone call away.

As an often-harried parent myself, I once would have been inclined to give that reassurance. But over the years, I've changed my thinking.

Every gift deserves a thank-you in some form, and a written note is the most desirable. It's worth nagging your kids to sit down and write one -- or paste one together. Their expenditure of time is small compared with the large amounts of money lavished on them.

Your objective is to make them feel so guilty that they'll eventually remember to send a note on their own -- and will one day nag their own children to write to you.

Allowing for the fact that you are stressed out at holiday time, here are a few rules to help you get the job done as painlessly as possible:

• Thank-you notes should never be generic. They should always include a specific mention of the gift, plus a personal note on how the child liked it, or, if it's money, what he or she plans to do with it. But preprinted cards -- or homemade construction-paper cutouts -- are acceptable.



• Computer-generated cards are fine, as long as the kids have some input in designing or choosing them.



• E-mail is acceptable, as long as the children do their own hunting and pecking on the keyboard.

It may be tough to get kids to pen their thanks on Christmas afternoon, but have them get the job done before they go back to school.