Question: I’m a 61-year-old widow who’s dreading retirement, but I can’t work forever. What’s my move?
Answer: While many people look forward to retirement and the freedom it brings, not everyone feels that way. A recent AARP survey found that 61% of Americans aged 50 and over worry they won't have enough money to support themselves in retirement. And others worry that once they retire, they’ll end up bored and unhappy.
All of these worries may be compounded, however, if you’re approaching retirement as a widow. A 2024 Thrivent survey found that more than 50% of widowed women experienced financial challenges after their spouse passed away.
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As a 61-year-old widow who’s dreading retirement, you may be looking to put it off as long as possible. But it’s also important to accept that you won't be able to work indefinitely. Here’s how to approach the situation.
Address your emotional health first
Even if you’ve been a widow for some time, retirement can trigger a host of tough emotions, says Laura Redfern, a Certified Financial Planner and Certified Financial Transitionist at Shadowridge Asset Management, LLC. You may have always pictured retirement as a period of life for you and your spouse to enjoy together. With your spouse gone, it can be hard to reframe the experience as a positive one.
“Retirement, especially after a loss, can feel overwhelming,” Redfern says. “However, with the right mindset and support, it’s possible to turn this chapter into a meaningful new beginning.”
Redfern says it’s important to address the emotional side of retirement before ending your career and focusing on the financial side. That could mean seeking therapy, support groups or other resources. “Emotional health is the real foundation of a fulfilling retirement,” she insists.
Don't make work a hard stop
The transition from full-time work to retirement can be jarring, even when you have a life partner to navigate that change with you. That’s why Redfern recommends a slower transition when you’re a widow approaching the end of your career. “Consider part-time or consulting roles,” Redfern says. “Retirement isn’t all or nothing.”
Many employers support employees looking to transition into retirement gradually. If yours doesn’t, you may want to instead find a part-time job elsewhere for a year or two, or explore the gig economy and see if there’s any particular job that sparks your interest. You might even consider a sabbatical to recover from the emotional toll of widowhood and test how you would feel in retirement, while maintaining job security.
Lean on your community
When you’re retiring solo, social connections can be a lifeline, Redfern says. “Whether joining a widow’s group, faith circle or hobby club, having your people can ease the loneliness and open new doors,” Redfern explains.
You can also look to your local community center as a resource for meeting other people in the same boat. And don’t discount the benefits of volunteering. You might meet a host of like-minded individuals who support the same causes as you.
Reframe the idea of retirement
Many people look at retirement as an ending, not a beginning. Redfern says that’s a mistake. She suggests regarding retirement as a “next chapter” — ideally, an exciting one where you can do the things you’ve always wanted to do.
Specifically, she says, think about whether there’s a passion or hobby you want to rekindle or discover. If you always wanted to know what it would be like to own a bakery, you could look at getting a license to sell baked goods out of your home, for example. You could even go back to school — for free.
Create a steady income stream
While it’s important to prepare emotionally for retirement if you’re diving in without your spouse, you can’t afford to neglect the financial end of things, says Doug Ornstein, director at TIAA Wealth Management.
One of the most important things to do, he says, is create steady income streams to replace your income from work, essentially planning for about 240 paychecks in retirement. You may have Social Security coming your way to replace a portion of your previous income, but you should also aim to have income streams that extend beyond those benefits.
Ornstein suggests converting a portion of your retirement nest egg into a lifetime income stream using an annuity. “The peace of mind this provides by ensuring you’ll never outlive your money regardless of market conditions can be huge,” he explains.
Consider a senior living community
Navigating retirement without a spouse can be especially challenging as you age and health or mobility issues start to creep up. That’s why Jacob Sadler, CFP and founder and senior adviser at Curio Wealth, says that in a situation like this, it pays to look into a senior living community.
“These types of communities can serve as fantastic options for folks in this situation, offering not just housing, but a support system as well,” he explains. Many senior communities not only have activities and amenities on site, but also provide access to health-care coordination.
However, as Sadler cautions, it’s important to do your research on senior living communities ahead of retirement and take time to explore different ones.
“Not all are created equal,” he explains. “Because of this, due diligence becomes particularly important when you're making decisions independently. You have to be honest with yourself about what you need and want.”
Not only do you need to understand the benefits of each community, but also, the long-term costs. And also, it’s a decision you shouldn’t put off too long when you’re flying solo.
“When it comes to considering a senior living community, we often say it’s better to be two years too early than two minutes too late,” he says. “For widows especially, making this move ‘two years too early’ allows time to establish a new social network before it becomes an urgent necessity.”
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