As We Age, Embracing Our Own Self-Doubt Can Be a Gift: A Cautionary Tale About Elder Financial Abuse

There is an age when self-doubt — questioning our decisions, seeking approval of family and trusted friends for our choices — can prevent us from becoming victims of financial abuse, consumer fraud or even ourselves.

Like three-quarters of Americans over the age of 50, "Walter" and "Patty," both in their late 70s, decided to "age in place" — remaining in the home they had lived in for many years, where they've formed friendships, have good neighbors and access to health care resources and much more.

Patty deals with severe mobility and dexterity challenges that require their primary bathroom to be remodeled. Watching a local television commercial for a company I will call Nightmare Bathroom Remodeling set the stage for the kind of financial elder abuse and consumer fraud we often see on the news.

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If, before ever contacting Nightmare, they had read the negative Yelp reviews — which far outnumber the positive ones — I doubt you would be reading this story.

There were giant red flags

Walter described the first red flag they saw, though they didn't grasp its significance at the time:

"We visited their showroom on July 22, 2025, to discuss bathroom renovations and met with the owner, 'Bill,' who gave us a rough estimate of $90,000. We gave him a retainer fee of $3,000. No contract was signed."

In California, a home improvement contractor can charge only 10% of the contract price to a maximum of $1,000 as a down payment. Contracts over $500 must be in writing and signed before any money is accepted from the customer.

Violations can result in criminal charges and disciplinary action by the Contractors State License Board in California.

Other states have specific limits on the maximum down payment a contractor can charge. Some set a percentage, while a combination of a percentage and a dollar amount is used in others. To find information for your state, you can check out this website provided by Angi.

That $3,000 down payment clearly violated the law in California. It is Nightmare's MO. But wait, it gets worse.

Additional huge deposit paid, though no work done or materials delivered

On September 12, 2025, the couple met with customer service rep "Ima" (as in I'm a Thief) and signed a $120,000 contract.

Three weeks later, Nightmare illegally had them pay an additional $90,000. No work on the job had been started, no materials had been delivered, and nothing justified this payment.

Additionally, Nightmare failed, in virtually all respects, to comply with the terms and specifications that must be in a home improvement contract.

And then a shocking call from their bank

Near the end of October 2025, Walter was informed by their bank that multiple charges had been made from their checking account, and Ima had set up an autopay arrangement for health insurance and dental insurance premiums. She had forged Walter's signature on counterfeit checks.

"I called Ima about it," Walter said. "She first claimed to have no idea what I was talking about, then she emailed to tell me not to contact her boss — because she needed the job, as she was a single mother with a son."

The bank replaced the money Ima had stolen from their account.

Angry and disappointed, Walter reached out to friend and neighbor Mark Novak, professor of sociology at California State University, Bakersfield. Novak referred him to me. (Readers might remember meeting Novak in my 2019 Kiplinger article Needing to Hire? Think Wrinkles.)

Walter asked Novak if he should inform Ima's employer, and Novak felt that he should — to at least protect other customers. Walter did and then was surprised to learn that Ima remained employed at Nightmare.

I tried to reach Nightmare's owner, but he refused to take my call.

The couple needed to cut ties with this crooked company, but what came next made me worry about their reasoning and decision-making abilities.

Self-doubt can be your greatest friend

Walter emailed me right before Thanksgiving: "Thanks for your advice, but we are continuing to work with Nightmare."

I replied, "Folks, the fact that an employee forged your signature on counterfeit checks should have scared the pants off of you, and had I been notified at the time, I would have personally helped you file a criminal complaint with the police. I urge that you immediately demand a refund of what they illegally charged you. …

"I have learned over the years that if we have close, responsible family members and friends, major financial/life decisions we make when we get older should be discussed with them. We should get their opinions and ask them to review contracts or anything that puts our money or well-being at risk. And, most of all, we should never feel embarrassed.

"Your decision to remain with this company deeply worries me. This is the time for self-doubt! Am I missing something? Maybe. Let's discuss this with our kids, accountant or family lawyer — someone whose advice we trust — before we do something that could wind up hurting us.

"Please show this email to your most responsible children. Have them call me to get a referral to an elder law attorney. Yes, you need to do that. And when you are near my office, please drop in. I'd love to meet you both in person."

My next column will cover why a consultation with an elder law attorney can be the best investment children of aging parents can make.

Dennis Beaver practices law in Bakersfield, Calif., and welcomes comments and questions from readers, which may be faxed to (661) 323-7993, or e-mailed to Lagombeaver1@gmail.com. And be sure to visit dennisbeaver.com.

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• More Than Money: The Hidden Toll of Financial Abuse of Older Adults
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