Help! I’m Afraid to Retire, Even Though I Can Afford to
Actually retiring may be the hardest part about retirement. It’s not unusual to get cold feet. But you don’t want to work forever either, so what do you do? Here are some coping tips to get you over the hump.
- (opens in new tab)
- (opens in new tab)
- (opens in new tab)
- Newsletter sign up Newsletter

I am seeing an interesting pattern in discussions with my clients about retirement — and it’s certainly not one I was expecting. Instead of worrying about whether they’ll have enough saved to enjoy retirement, they’re worrying about whether they’ll enjoy retirement at all.
It seems like discussions about retirement start almost as soon as we get our first job. Whether it’s saving as much as possible in your 401(k) plan or making an annual IRA contribution, the focus is always on having enough money to retire and enjoy all the things they’ve been dreaming of doing. For some, the big plans include traveling to far-flung destinations; for others, it’s spending time with family, finally moving to that place you love to visit on vacation, or volunteering.
As financial planners, we talk about these dreams as goals and put dollar amounts on them with anticipated timeframes around when you could expect to achieve them.

Sign up for Kiplinger’s Free E-Newsletters
Profit and prosper with the best of expert advice on investing, taxes, retirement, personal finance and more - straight to your e-mail.
Profit and prosper with the best of expert advice - straight to your e-mail.
Nearing Retirement, Client Has Second Thoughts
As we diligently make progress on achieving those retirement dreams, we don’t spend as much time as we should thinking about what life may actually look like in retirement. Just last week, I spoke to a client who says she would like to retire at the end of this year. We have been working toward her economic freedom for years, and she has enough assets to be able to make all the dreams she has expressed come to fruition. We got to the end of the financial plan discussion and I was all set to celebrate starting the countdown to the long-awaited retirement date.
But there was a pause, and then she said, “I don’t know if I can actually start to withdraw the money and feel good about it. I have been so focused on saving, investing and planning for years that I don’t know how I will feel about starting to take money out, even if it’s for things I think I want.”
She went on to say that she always thought she wanted to move to another state to be close to her extended family, but she now realizes that they are going to be busy with their own lives, and it won’t just be fun all the time like when she visits now. And if her family won’t be able to see her multiple times a week, then maybe she doesn’t actually want to live in that state and make a major lifestyle adjustment to weather she doesn’t enjoy year-round and not being able to walk on the beach every day.
She shared that she worries that the photography and golf hobbies that she feels like she never has time to enjoy now won’t be enough to fill her days. She has traveled extensively already, and the list of places she still wants to visit is getting shorter. In other words, her biggest worry about retiring is what she is going to do with her time when she retires — even though she says frequently, even now, that she can’t wait to stop working.
I have had similar conversations with physician clients who start our discussions by telling me that they are very stressed, and the only thing they want to do is close their practice as soon as financially possible. And yet, when we work through their wealth management plan and show that they have more than enough assets to walk out the door tomorrow, they can’t do it. For some people, retiring from being an expert in their field or having a prestigious job feels like giving up part of the identity they have worked very hard to earn.
Coping Tips If You’ve Got Cold Feet for Retirement
So, what do you do when the hardest part about retirement is actually retiring? The most successful transitions to retirement I have helped clients implement start years before the planned retirement date or have elements that help ease them into decisions. Here are some ideas to make retirement the next step in a journey, not a final destination:
- Consider slowing down at work instead of stopping completely. Working part-time allows you to have the best of both worlds: Continued income and a day-to-day sense of purpose, as well as the time to pursue hobbies, travel and leisure. The physician who wanted to walk away from his practice is now only working three days a week, happy to still be caring for patients while being able to participate in his teenager’s school and sports activities.
- Try before you buy. If relocation is in your retirement plans, you can similarly take a new location for a test drive before committing to living there full-time. In the case of the client who might want to live by her family but really likes her current home, I recommended that she rent a house for a year in the new state to see if she can deal with the weather, and if her extended family’s lifestyle suits her before she sells her current home. She can rent out her current home for some income, or she can just come back home for a break during the very hot or cold months in the new state.
- Plan to explore new things. While you may have a few hobbies that you enjoy now and want to pursue in retirement, you can also plan to try out new experiences to keep your day-to-day life fresh and interesting. Many people find that volunteering gives them the purpose that working used to fulfill — but without the stress. You can also explore those activities that you always thought sounded fun — like learning to paint, ballroom dancing, playing pickleball, running triathlons or taking a series of cooking classes — but never had time to do before.
“I am busier now that I am retired than I was when I was working” is a common theme I hear from clients, but now the activities are things they have worked hard to be able to enjoy.
Having your financial adviser work with you on planning for your life in retirement as well as your finances will ensure the transition you make will be happy and fulfilling.
Mercer Advisors Inc. is the parent company of Mercer Global Advisors Inc. and is not involved with investment services. Mercer Global Advisors Inc. (“Mercer Advisors”) is registered as an investment advisor with the SEC.
This article was written by and presents the views of our contributing adviser, not the Kiplinger editorial staff. You can check adviser records with the SEC or with FINRA.
Kara Duckworth is the Managing Director of Client Experience at Mercer Advisors (opens in new tab) and also leads the company’s InvestHERs program, focused on providing financial planning to serve the specific needs of women. She is a CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER and Certified Divorce Financial Analyst®. She is a frequent public speaker on financial planning topics and has been quoted in numerous industry publications.
-
-
Four Ways Women Can Take Control of Their Financial Health
Adjusting for life events, taking advantage of workplace benefits and preparing for caregiving can make a big difference in your financial future.
By Kate Winget • Published
-
What is APY?
Savings Here's everything you need to know about APY, the important factor in how much your savings could earn in a year.
By Erin Bendig • Published
-
Four Ways Women Can Take Control of Their Financial Health
Adjusting for life events, taking advantage of workplace benefits and preparing for caregiving can make a big difference in your financial future.
By Kate Winget • Published
-
Can a Potential Employee Negotiate Conditions of Criticism?
Labor lawyer weighs in on whether job candidate with traumatizing childhood can request that prospective boss curb his management style to avoid triggering her.
By H. Dennis Beaver, Esq. • Published
-
Long-Term Care Insurance Quandary: Keep Paying or Let It Go?
As long-term care insurance premiums go up, many policyholders are struggling with what to do. Accept higher premiums, reduce benefits, let the policy lapse or take a payout?
By Roxanne Alexander, CFP®, CAIA, AIF®, ADPA® • Published
-
Four Steps to Prepare Your Finances for Divorce
Divorce is rarely easy, but getting financial paperwork in order, working with professionals and making tough decisions now can take some of the stress out of it.
By Marcy Keckler, CFP, CRPC • Published
-
In Retirement, Many Crucial Questions Start With the Word ‘When’
For a secure retirement, make sure you know the answers to all of these “when” questions.
By Bradley Geddes, CFP® • Published
-
Rise of ChatGPT Could Be a Boon for Savvy Business Owners
Our ChatGPT obsession reflects the limitless potential of artificial intelligence. Businesses that get with the program now could quickly reap the benefits.
By John Winner, CEO • Published
-
Why So Many Experts Consider Annuities a Win for Retirees
Rising interest rates, pressure on Social Security, unpredictable markets and longevity risks are making annuities ever more attractive as a part of retirement planning.
By Jerry Golden, Investment Adviser Representative • Published
-
What the Markets’ New Tailwinds Could Look Like in 2023
Historically, the markets bounce back nicely after sharp declines, so focusing on historically high-quality companies trading at today’s lower valuations could be a good recovery strategy.
By Don Calcagni, CFP® • Published