I'm a Financial Adviser: Silence Is Golden, But It Hurts Your Heirs More Than You Think

Editor's note: This is the first article in a two-part series on navigating the Great Wealth Transfer. Part two will explore key decisions for couples.

Over the next two decades, American families will pass down trillions of dollars in wealth. Yet many families enter the process unprepared.

Conversations often happen late — sometimes too late — leaving heirs without the context or clarity they need.

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As a wealth adviser, I've seen grantors approach this stage with good intentions. But good intentions alone can't prevent confusion. Without clear communication, heirs are left to navigate grief, logistics and unanswered questions at once.

This article focuses on how grantors can reduce that burden, which begins with thoughtful, honest communication shared on your terms and at your comfort level.

Why silence creates complexity

Most parents or grandparents expect to share their plans "someday," but that day can come later than they intend, or later than their heirs need. Some hesitate because the topic is emotional; others worry about sharing too much too early or feel overwhelmed by the planning process.

From my experience, silence creates two challenges:

Families can be blindsided. Heirs may know their parents value charitable giving but still be surprised by the size or structure of a bequest if it wasn't discussed.

Last-minute changes can spark conflict. In one family, a mother updated a beneficiary designation late in life but told only one daughter. When she fell ill, the lack of communication created tension between the surviving siblings.

Silence doesn't protect loved ones. It can leave doubt, resentment and fractured relationships long after assets transfer.

Shift from logistics to legacy

Most grantors handle the paperwork. What's harder is articulating why the wealth exists and what you hope it will accomplish.

Reflection questions include:

• What do I hope this wealth makes possible?
• How should it support — and not replace — grit or purpose?
• What balance should exist between family and philanthropy?
• What stories shaped how I built or cared for this wealth?

Effective legacy planning gives heirs clarity, not just about what they receive, but why.

Start earlier than you think, but at your comfort level

Many families wait for a major milestone or a health scare to start these conversations. But beginning earlier, when life is stable, allows for more thoughtful dialogue.

Early conversations often start informally with one child:

• "We've been thinking about the long-term plan for the family …"
• "We want to make sure you're protected …"
• "We're considering a trust structure for the grandchildren …"

Families who discuss financial values early, sometimes even during high school or college, tend to move more easily into inheritance conversations later.

Start where you're comfortable. Share what feels appropriate. Build from there.

Simplify what you can today

One of the greatest burdens on heirs — especially executors — is the logistical load. Grantors can reduce stress by tackling foundational items now.

Review and update your current plan. Estate planning is iterative, not "set it and forget it." Revisit your plan every few years, or more often if later in life, or if you have a family or health change.

Organize documents and designations. This includes:

• A current will and perhaps a revocable trust
• Beneficiary designations
• Powers of attorney
• Advance directives
• Life insurance details
• Succession instructions for donor-advised funds
• A clear inventory of assets

Consider the impact of growth. Wealth often grows significantly over time. A plan created when assets were far smaller may no longer reflect your intentions. Modeling how the estate may grow over five to 15 years helps ensure the structure still fits.

Document decisions for non-financial assets. Sentimental items and family property can spark the biggest conflicts. Clear instructions minimize that risk.

Create a pattern of communication

Communication isn't a single event. It's an ongoing pattern.

Start small and informal. Initial conversations often begin one-on-one before expanding to include the full family.

Host periodic family meetings. These touchpoints may cover:

• Family values or mission
• High-level legacy structures
• Roles such as executor or trustee
• Updates after plan reviews

Whether to include spouses or in-laws depends on your comfort level.

Bring financial advisers into the dialogue. Introducing heirs to your adviser creates continuity. Advisers can help translate technical details, mediate sensitive topics and support constructive conversation.

A purposeful transfer starts with you

The Great Wealth Transfer is more than financial. It's relational. It's an opportunity to leave your family with clarity and direction.

That begins with:

• Reviewing your plan
• Communicating intentionally
• Updating decisions as life changes
• Ensuring your legacy matches your goals

Most importantly, it means sharing your plans in a way that feels comfortable and true to your values.

In the next article, we'll turn to spouses and partners, who are often the first to inherit. We'll explore how couples can prepare together for complexity, key decisions and long-term financial continuity.

Related Content

• Great Wealth Transfer: How Families Can Get on the Same Page
• To Buck the Third-Generation Curse, Focus on the Family Story
• Estate Planning and Unequal Inheritances: Talking Is Key
• Discussing Family Legacy Plans? 5 Tips to Navigate 'the Talk'
• 4 Reasons Families Fail When Transferring Wealth