Q. My husband and I have been invited to a wedding, and the couple’s gift registry has no merchandise — just lots of ideas of what they would do with cash gifts from their wedding guests. Call us old-fashioned, but we’re put off by this request for money. Any suggestions?
A. This is more a matter of etiquette than ethics. There is nothing unethical about the bridal couple making such a request (although it may be a little crass), and there is no moral dimension to your response. You have no obligation to give them anything if you’re not going to the wedding, and if you do go, you are free to send any kind of gift you wish.
A wedding gift is traditionally a way to congratulate the couple and help them get established in their new household. Alternatives to conventional gift registries (online or in a local store) are flourishing, and my favorites encourage donations to charities that the engaged couple supports, instead of (or in addition to) a gift to them. This works especially well for older couples who already have one or more households and probably don’t need more kitchen equipment.
Sign up for Kiplinger’s Free E-Newsletters
Profit and prosper with the best of expert advice on investing, taxes, retirement, personal finance and more - straight to your e-mail.
Profit and prosper with the best of expert advice - straight to your e-mail.
As for cash gifts: If you were okay with spending a certain amount on a gift, why not send the couple the same amount in cash? Do you think this feels too impersonal because they’ll never think kindly of you each time they use the coffeemaker you sent? Or do you not want them to be tempted to blow their wedding cash on a trip to Vegas? I share your concerns on both fronts.
My wife and I recently received a wedding invitation from a young couple who were moving across the country, wanted to travel light and had no idea what they’d need in their new home, so they said they’d love to have cash instead. But we decided that, whenever they settle down somewhere, they’ll need useful things from a hardware or housewares store. So we gave them a gift certificate instead of cash.
This response was originally written by Kiplinger in 2014.
Related Content
-
Starbucks BOGO and New Sweet and Spicy DrinksFor a limited time, Starbucks is announcing four new "swicy" drinks that are both spicy and sweet.
-
Walmart Lawsuit: Get Up to $500 as Part of a $45 Million SettlementYou could be eligible to receive up to $500 as a result of Walmart's class-action lawsuit settlement.
-
Credit Card Bonuses up to $1,600 for New CardholdersEarn up to $1,600 when you sign up for a new credit card. Here are the best welcome offers for new cardholders.
-
March CPI Report Comes in Hot: What the Experts Are Saying About InflationCPI A blowout inflation report pushes back the timing of Fed rate cuts.
-
How To Invest Your Tax ReturnWhen thinking about how to invest your tax return, prioritize your financial health over aggressive – and risky – ideas like bitcoin.
-
Solar Eclipse Snacks: 25 Best Deals for Enjoying the Big DayWatch the solar eclipse while feasting on these great deals from Burger King, MoonPie, Applebee's, Krispy Kreme and more.
-
Solar Eclipse Glasses: Where to Buy, Where to Get Them FreeFind safe solar eclipse glasses at Warby Parker, Target, Amazon and more than 13,000 libraries nationwide
-
March Jobs Growth Blows Past Estimates: What the Experts Are SayingJobs Report A whopper of a jobs report could complicate the Fed's rate-cut plans.
