Q. My husband and I have been invited to a wedding, and the couple’s gift registry has no merchandise — just lots of ideas of what they would do with cash gifts from their wedding guests. Call us old-fashioned, but we’re put off by this request for money. Any suggestions?
A. This is more a matter of etiquette than ethics. There is nothing unethical about the bridal couple making such a request (although it may be a little crass), and there is no moral dimension to your response. You have no obligation to give them anything if you’re not going to the wedding, and if you do go, you are free to send any kind of gift you wish.
A wedding gift is traditionally a way to congratulate the couple and help them get established in their new household. Alternatives to conventional gift registries (online or in a local store) are flourishing, and my favorites encourage donations to charities that the engaged couple supports, instead of (or in addition to) a gift to them. This works especially well for older couples who already have one or more households and probably don’t need more kitchen equipment.
From just $107.88 $24.99 for Kiplinger Personal Finance
Be a smarter, better informed investor.
Sign up for Kiplinger’s Free Newsletters
Profit and prosper with the best of expert advice on investing, taxes, retirement, personal finance and more - straight to your e-mail.
Profit and prosper with the best of expert advice - straight to your e-mail.
As for cash gifts: If you were okay with spending a certain amount on a gift, why not send the couple the same amount in cash? Do you think this feels too impersonal because they’ll never think kindly of you each time they use the coffeemaker you sent? Or do you not want them to be tempted to blow their wedding cash on a trip to Vegas? I share your concerns on both fronts.
My wife and I recently received a wedding invitation from a young couple who were moving across the country, wanted to travel light and had no idea what they’d need in their new home, so they said they’d love to have cash instead. But we decided that, whenever they settle down somewhere, they’ll need useful things from a hardware or housewares store. So we gave them a gift certificate instead of cash.
This response was originally written by Kiplinger in 2014.
Related Content
-
A Comfortable Retirement is About More Than MoneyWhen it comes to a happy retirement, money can’t buy these things.
-
Four Ways a Massive Emergency Fund Can Hurt You More Than It HelpsSaving too much could mean you're missing opportunities to put your money to work. Redirect some of that money toward paying off debt, building retirement funds, fulfilling a dream or investing in higher-growth options.
-
Noctourism: The New Travel Trend For Your Next Trip"Noctourism" is a new trend of building travel and vacations around events and plans that take place at night. Take a look at some inspiring noctourism ideas.
-
Eight Tricks to Shop for Glasses if You're Over 50Shopping for glasses often gets trickier — and more expensive — as you age. If you've over 50, take these steps when you set out to buy a new pair.
-
My First $1 Million: Electric Utility Executive, 56, South CarolinaEver wonder how someone who's made a million dollars or more did it? Kiplinger's My First $1 Million series uncovers the answers.
-
How to Turn Amazon Prime Day Into a Travel WindfallDuring Amazon's Prime Big Deal Days sale, skip the fluff — here’s how to extract real travel value via gear, services and strategic credit cards.
-
Need a Reason to Retire Early? Consider These Eye-Opening StatsThe majority of people retire early, leaving the workforce before reaching their Full Retirement Age (FRA). Maybe you should, too.
-
Seven Things You Should Do Before 2026 Because of One Big Beautiful Bill ChangesThe new law ushers in significant changes for most taxpayers. Make these moves now to take advantage of them.
