No Kids to Rely On? Seven Things Solo Agers Must Do Now
If you don’t have children or a support system of close friends nearby, you face some special challenges. For peace of mind, answer these seven questions.
Contrary to popular belief, effective planning for solo aging extends far beyond legal paperwork and financial power of attorney arrangements. A solo ager is an older adult without the support of adult children or close family members, either by choice or circumstance, as defined by Ailene Gerhardt, a solo aging educator and founder of NavigatingSolo.com. Of course, solo agers need to consider how to structure a financial power of attorney (POA) with their financial adviser or elder law attorney. But that’s far from their only concern.
To empower my clients who are aging solo, I pose critical questions to kick-start their planning process. It’s about ensuring a sense of security and peace of mind. Below are the seven questions I ask, accompanied by the proactive approach I recommend for my clients.
1. Who will you call if you have an emergency at 2 in the morning?
When I ask my clients this question, it usually jump-starts their thinking about planning as solo agers. All older adults need a team of people around them as they age, especially solo agers.
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Solo agers need to build a network of professionals, neighbors and possibly extended family members who can check in on them daily. It’s about fostering a community and sense of connection. Location is key: Having someone nearby who can pick up groceries or shovel snow makes a huge difference for solo agers.
2. Do you know where to begin planning for a solo retirement?
I empower my clients to consider key aspects of solo aging planning, including legal matters, health care needs, long-term care planning, housing and transportation choices, support networks, strategies for living an engaged life and finances. Each solo ager may already have strengths in these areas, or they may need to work on building their capacity by taking the next best step.
Resources like the Life Plan Assessment or the Solo Aging Plan Checklist are good places to start.
3. What local professional resources do you have?
It’s important to assemble a team of professionals capable of filling the support roles traditionally held by family members. That team may include an elder law attorney to handle legal matters, a patient advocate or geriatric care manager to oversee health care decisions, financial professionals to manage financial affairs and neighbors or friends in town who can help in a crisis.
If your health is declining, then starting with a care manager or patient advocate may be your most pressing need. Next, if solo agers haven’t updated their will or trust in the last decade, then I advise them to start with an elder law attorney.
4. What financial documents do you need?
A durable power of attorney gives someone selected by the solo ager the authority to manage their finances if they cannot do so or want help. In contrast, a limited power of attorney allows the person selected to make only certain decisions on the solo ager’s behalf, such as paying monthly bills from their checking account. A third option is called a springing power of attorney, which doesn’t take effect unless the solo ager is declared incompetent.
If solo agers die without a will, the state’s laws prevail, which means distant relatives could inherit their assets. Note that legal documents drawn up online may not hold up in court, so working with an estate planning or elder law attorney is recommended.
5. What medical documents do you need?
At a minimum, solo agers need a living will to enumerate wishes for how they want to be treated in certain medical situations and ensure a trusted person is making other medical decisions. A health care proxy (also known as a health care power of attorney or an advance directive) gives a person designated by a solo ager the right to make medical decisions on their behalf if they can’t speak for themselves.
Solo agers will need a medical release form to permit doctors to share information with the health care proxy. Investment advisers and financial institutions often have similar forms called a letter of diminishing capacity that allows them to contact doctors or trusted friends if they’re concerned about a solo ager’s competency. Additionally, paperwork like a POLST (physician order for life-sustaining treatment) or a MOLST (medical order for life-sustaining treatment) — ensures that emergency clinicians know a solo ager’s wishes regarding life-saving requests.
6. What should you do if you hadn’t planned on being a solo ager but now find your situation is changing?
Some of the best advice on this topic is from Joy Loverde, a senior living expert and author of The Complete Eldercare Planner and Who Will Take Care of Me When I’m Old? Joy shares, “If you realize that your circumstances will mean that you will become a solo ager, starting as early as possible is important to plan for the future. That includes planning for your financial, emotional and physical well-being. Planning for solo aging is much easier and far less stressful if done before a crisis.” Today is the best day to start planning.
7. Do solo agers need to go it alone?
No. Solo agers don’t have to navigate their journey alone. In reality, a growing community of solo agers is forming online and in person, providing invaluable support and resources. Some websites, like Sara Zeff Geber, Nancy Ruffner, Carol Marak and Steve Gurney’s Positive Aging Sourcebook, offer valuable insights and connections for solo agers.
Planning for solo aging requires attention to detail and proactive steps to establish a comprehensive support network and financial framework. By addressing these critical aspects, solo agers can navigate their retirement years with confidence and security.
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