Planning for Couples Who Have a Big Age Gap
You must coordinate different retirement timelines while stretching your savings to cover a longer lifespan.
Retirement planning for couples is a complex calculus of financial as well as emotional priorities — deciding when you will each stop working, how much money you'll need, whether you can actually spend so much time together without driving each other bananas.
For couples with a big age gap, the number of moving parts multiplies. Financial planners characterize the process as essentially having to knit together two different retirement trajectories and make it work for one family.
It's a challenge many couples face. In roughly one out of four heterosexual marriages, the husband is at least five years older than his wife, according to an analysis of the Census Bureau's 2022 American Community Survey.
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In an estimated 7% to 9% of marriages, husbands and wives have an age gap of 10 years or more.
Unions in which one spouse is considerably older than the other happen even more frequently among couples who remarry, a situation that is more common as people get closer to retirement age.
The Pew Research Center found that more than half of men who remarry get hitched to a woman at least three years younger than they are, compared with 35% in first marriages that have the same age gap; for 20% of remarried men, the age difference with their wives is at least a decade.
If you're a lot older or younger than your spouse, there are several key areas you need to focus on to secure a financially and emotionally satisfying retirement, advisers say. That includes devising an income and investment strategy to ensure your savings last through the younger spouse's lifespan, coordinating timelines for winding down your careers, and coming up with a plan to maximize Social Security benefits.
Younger spouses — typically wives — must also prepare for the prospect of a longer period of time as a widow, with the money challenges and emotional punch that come with that.
These preparations are personal for Burt Hutchinson, a certified financial planner and partner at Foundation Wealth Management in Media, Pa., whose wife is 11 years his junior.
"As I get older, I am really focused on when I will retire and how that could impact her finances over the long term," says Hutchinson, 57, who intends to stick with his career until he's 70. "I plan to work longer to ensure that she is financially secure."
If you and your spouse are planning for retirement and there is a considerable age gap between you, here are the steps to take now.
Prepare to stretch your retirement savings
Research from the TIAA Institute indicates that the average American spends a little less than 20 years in retirement. For a couple with a significant age gap, the combined time span for retirement could easily be twice as long, from the time the older spouse stops working through, in most cases, the rest of the younger partner's life — and savings and income need to last over that longer period.
For planning purposes, that means basing strategies and projections on the younger spouse's life expectancy, although the health of both partners also factors into the equation, says CFP René Bruer, co-CEO of Smith Bruer, a financial advisory firm based in Tallahassee, Fla.
"It's all about expectations," he says. "Can your money and the assets that you have support you once you're no longer earning income?"
To help ensure the answer is yes, advisers recommend that age-gap couples invest their long-term savings with an eye toward continued growth, keeping more of their money in stocks than the older spouse might choose based on his expected retirement age alone.
For instance, a 65-year-old about to stop working might typically have an investment mix of 40% to 60% in stocks and the rest in fixed-income securities to balance growth with the need to protect the portfolio from market volatility and losses.
But for an age-gap couple planning for a retirement timeline of 40 years or more, 65% to 75% in stocks might be appropriate, says CFP Eric McClain, partner at Approach Retirement Advisors in Birmingham, Ala. "That money has got to last a lot longer," he says.
Although an older spouse may be eager for his partner to join him as soon as possible once he retires, advisers say that from a strictly financial standpoint it might make sense for the younger spouse to keep working, earning income and contributing to retirement accounts to continue to build savings.
That's especially true if an employer matches a portion of 401(k) contributions or if the couple are able to take advantage of higher catch-up contribution limits. (Savers 50 and older can contribute a total of $32,500 for 2026, compared with a maximum of $24,500 for younger workers; people between the ages of 60 and 63 have a super catch-up limit of $35,750.)
Later in retirement, in cases where one spouse is more than 10 years older than their partner, a couple may be able to further stretch retirement savings by taking smaller required minimum distributions (RMDs) from an IRA.
As long as the younger spouse is the primary beneficiary on the account, couples with that age difference can use the IRS Joint and Last Survivor Life Expectancy Table to calculate RMDs instead of the standard Uniform Lifetime Table, resulting in lower withdrawals. (See IRS Publication 590-B for details.)
Coordinate your exits from the workforce
What's best from a strictly financial standpoint, though, isn't the only consideration. A gap of several years in retirement dates can leave couples navigating conflicting priorities: The spouse who is no longer working wants to travel and pursue hobbies with their partner during the healthy, active early years of retirement, while the other spouse either has to keep working for financial reasons or enjoys their job and doesn't want to give it up. By the time the younger spouse retires, the older spouse might not have the desire or the physical capability to keep up.
That friction can pop up anytime there's a big difference in retirement timing between spouses, but may be exacerbated by a sizable age difference. "I have a client who's still working, and his wife is in his ear at every meeting," the adviser says.
The client is several years older than his spouse but doesn't want to quit his job; the wife no longer works and wants them to begin their next chapter before her husband is too old to enjoy an active retirement together. Hutchinson says, "She asks him, ‘When's it going to be our time?'"
To ease this kind of tension, planners say it's helpful to stop thinking of work or retirement in black-and-white terms. "There's a ton of gray areas you can take advantage of," Bruer says.
In some cases, couples compromise by having one or both partners transition to part-time or gig work. That gives them the freedom to pursue the lifestyle they want and continue earning some income as well, reducing the amount they need to draw from their nest egg to maintain their lifestyle.
Figuring out how you'll get health insurance also factors into the decision on when age-gap couples retire. If a younger spouse gets coverage through their partner's employer and both spouses intend to retire at 65 once they become eligible for Medicare, the younger spouse will have to find an alternative.
You may be able to bridge the gap with COBRA coverage, remaining on your spouse's former employer's plan for up to 36 months. But the cost will be much higher because you lose the employer subsidy that lowers workplace health insurance premiums.
If you're working, your employer's health insurance plan is an option; if you're not in the workforce, taking a part-time job that offers health benefits is a possibility. The Affordable Care Act marketplace is another, especially if your income is low enough to qualify for subsidies.
Tax credits to defray the cost of premiums are available for people who earn between 100% and 400% of the federal poverty level — $84,600 for couples in most states in 2026. Some states also offer additional subsidies.
Another consideration: A couple with one spouse still earning a high income and the other on Medicare needs to budget for the possibility of higher Medicare costs. Medicare assesses income-related monthly adjustment amount (IRMAA) surcharges on Medicare Part B, which covers doctor visits, and Part D, which covers prescription medications, on high-income households.
IRMAA surcharges, which are indexed to inflation, kick in at incomes above $218,000 in 2026 for married joint filers (based on your returns from two years ago), with tiers for higher income levels. Income of even a single dollar above each threshold can mean sharply higher premiums.
For instance, couples with joint income from $274,001 to $342,000 each pay $405.80 per month, double the standard monthly premium of $202.90 in 2026.
Offset a possible drop in income
Between the typical dynamic of older men marrying younger women and women's longer average life expectancy (women outlive men by about five years in the U.S.), retirement planning for age-gap couples needs to take into account the likelihood of a longer period of widowhood for a surviving spouse than same-age couples experience.
Financial planners say the sudden drop in income that is common after a spouse's death often catches women by surprise, especially if both partners have already retired and are collecting Social Security.
In that case, the surviving partner is entitled to whichever benefit was larger but not both payments. Meanwhile, big expenses such as housing payments, property taxes, homeowners insurance and utilities won't change unless the surviving spouse moves to a less expensive home or area.
"That concern becomes even more significant when there is a substantial age difference between spouses," because a younger widow has to make her money last for a longer period of time, says Heather Schreiber, founder of HLS Retirement Consulting in greater Atlanta.
The surviving spouse also becomes a single tax filer, which leads to higher tax bills — what financial pros call the widow's penalty.
"Your tax bracket's going to change, all things being equal," Bruer says. You'll hit a higher marginal tax rate with a lower amount of income, and the standard deduction will be cut in half as well.
Life insurance can provide a buffer. Most payouts aren't taxed and don't contribute to your taxable income — key considerations for a new widow who has suddenly been bumped into a higher tax bracket. "Make sure you consider whether you need life insurance on the older spouse," says CFP Morgann Zimmer, director of financial advisory services at Goodman Financial Corporation in Houston.
Perhaps the most consequential decision an age-gap couple has to make, though, is when to claim Social Security benefits, especially if the older spouse earns considerably more. The key is to try to maximize the higher earner's benefit, because the lower earner's benefit drops away for the surviving spouse.
"If the older spouse is the higher earner, there's usually a strong case for that partner to delay until 70," says Zimmer. "The younger spouse will step into those higher benefits as survivor benefits and receive that bigger benefit for a much longer time."
That additional income can be substantial. If you begin claiming Social Security at 62, you forfeit 30% of the benefit amount you would get if you waited until your full retirement age (FRA), which is 67 for people born in 1960 or later.
Conversely, retirees can boost their benefit by taking advantage of Social Security's delayed-retirement credits, which increase the payment for each month between a beneficiary hitting full retirement age and turning 70, with benefits rising by 8% for each year they wait.
"For a younger spouse who may collect that survivor benefit for 20+ years, the difference between claiming at 62 and 70 can be hundreds of thousands of dollars over a lifetime," noted Ben Carlson, director of institutional wealth management at Ritholtz Wealth Management and author of the blog A Wealth of Common Sense, in a recent Facebook post.
Meanwhile, he added, the lower earner may want to claim their own benefit early, even at the reduced amount, because that won't affect the survivor benefit they will eventually receive.
If the older spouse is entitled to a pension and hasn't yet claimed it, choosing a joint-and-survivor payout over one that provides benefits only during the pension holder's lifetime also ensures additional income for a surviving spouse.
The survivor payout options typically range from 50% to 100% of the pension holder's benefit, usually for life, but will reduce the amount the couple gets while both spouses are alive.
Opting for the lowest payment during both spouses' lifetimes generally yields the highest survivor benefit. Some pensions also give retired workers the option of having the amount revert to their full benefit in the unlikely scenario that the younger spouse dies first.
Annuities are another way to provide a guaranteed income stream that will augment Social Security. Hutchinson says choosing a simple single-premium immediate or deferred annuity is one of the most straightforward options:
You pay a lump sum and get monthly payments, starting soon (typically between a month and a year after the purchase) or at a future date of your choosing. A $100,000 annuity might generate between $500 and $1,100 or so a month, depending on factors such as the type of annuity and your age. (You can comparison-shop at sites such as ImmediateAnnuities and AnnuityAdvantage.)
The peace of mind can be as valuable as the money itself, says Hutchinson, who turned part of his nest egg into an annuity to create an income stream for his wife to supplement Social Security and retirement account distributions.
"My wife would be very hesitant to spend money from savings. She'd be more concerned about running out of money," he says. "This way, there's cash flow coming in the door, and she doesn't have to think about it."
Look ahead to a solo stage
Widows older than 65 often outlive their husbands by 10 to 15 years. For age-gap couples, the duration of widowhood can be even longer.
That means an extended period when the younger spouse, typically a woman, will have to manage money on her own — a prospect that may be challenging if the husband previously took charge of investing and long-term planning, and the wife is not up to speed on their finances or is uncomfortable stepping in.
Rick Kahler, a CFP and certified financial therapist in Rapid City, S.D., says couples who avoid talking about end-of-life issues risk their long-term financial security, even as a younger spouse's longer life expectancy raises the stakes.
For younger spouses who haven't been involved in managing the couple's finances, he suggests doing a dry run to get practice and boost confidence.
Says Kahler, "Just for one month, let the other spouse handle everything," and if a snag comes up, the partner who has been in charge of the money can walk the other spouse through it.
Lining up a financial adviser the younger spouse will feel comfortable working with in advance can also be valuable, Kahler says — and, if you're already working with a pro, you may need a different candidate. "Choose an adviser who treats you both as equals," he says.
Make sure the adviser is a fiduciary, which means they're legally bound to act in your best interests. The situation you're trying to avoid is the younger spouse needing to find professional financial help right after the funeral, Kahler says.
"That's a bad time to be shopping for an adviser," he cautions, because the surviving spouse will be in an emotionally vulnerable state and at risk of being exploited by bad actors.
Long-term care is another issue that couples rarely talk about, with particular implications for partners with a big age difference. Spouses may assume the younger one will take care of the older one if the need arises, but what happens years later if the younger spouse needs help? Estimates find that 60% of women will need long-term care at some point in their lives, with 14% needing care for at least five years.
"If the younger spouse is going to be in widowhood for a long time, consider how they're going to fund long-term care," Zimmer says. Buying long-term-care insurance is one option, but it's not cheap: Industry data shows that a 60-year-old woman can expect to pay an average annual premium of $4,450.
Still, prices climb as you age, and if you wait too long, you might be locked out entirely. Nearly half of people in their seventies have been turned down when applying for a policy, an industry survey found.
An annuity combined with a long-term-care rider is another option, Schreiber says. This hybrid product can increase an annuity's regular income payouts to cover care costs if the need arises.
For instance, a $100,000 annuity with this rider might pay up to double or triple that amount for long-term-care costs for a set period of, say, five years.
Schreiber also recommends long-term-care insurance for older husbands. Or you could set aside an amount earmarked for long-term-care expenses — $135,000 is the projected average amount a 65-year-old would need to save now to cover future care costs, according to the Milliman Long-Term Care Index, although the specifics can vary significantly depending on the type and length of care needed.
Otherwise, in the event of physical or cognitive decline, whether temporary or long-term, care costs can consume a big chunk of even a sizable nest egg. That, in turn, leaves less for the couple to live the life they had planned in retirement and to sustain the surviving spouse in later years.
Says Schreiber, "It is probably the biggest thing that can derail a retirement plan" — which makes it all the more urgent to plan ahead.
Tackle a critical estate-planning challenge
Marriages in which there's a big difference in age between spouses are far more likely to be second unions for the older partner, who may have children from that earlier relationship. That can present some possibly gnarly estate-planning challenges.
For one, a large age gap increases the likelihood that the older spouse's children will be waiting many more years than anticipated to inherit a house, investment accounts or other valuables from their parent, assuming the bulk of the estate will first pass to the younger spouse, says Patrick Simasko, a financial adviser and elder- and estate-law attorney in Mount Clemens, Mich.
One way to mitigate the impact, Simasko says, is for the older spouse to buy a life insurance policy naming the children from his previous marriage as beneficiaries, so they don't have to wait for an inheritance until the younger spouse also passes away and they may be at an advanced age themselves.
If you're the older spouse and want to bequeath specific assets to your children from a previous marriage upon your death, be careful about which assets you name, warns Holly Geerdes, founding attorney at the Estate Law Center in Alpharetta, Ga.
An unfortunately common scenario, she says, is a widow being effectively evicted from the couple's home so the adult children from a former marriage can sell it. Says Geerdes, "We've had children kick out surviving spouses."
A qualified terminable interest property (QTIP) trust can help age-gap couples make sure the older spouse's financial legacy is carried out as intended, experts say. Terms for this trust can be changed during the older spouse's lifetime, but once they die, the beneficiaries are locked in.
Typically, the younger spouse gets the couple's home and an income stream via an investment account. When the second spouse dies, the assets in the trust pass to the beneficiaries — in this case, the older spouse's children.
Note: This item first appeared in Kiplinger Personal Finance Magazine, a monthly, trustworthy source of advice and guidance. Subscribe to help you make more money and keep more of the money you make here.
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