I'm a Retirement Psychologist: Money Won't Buy You Happiness in Your Life After Work
While financial security is crucial for retirement, the true 'retirement crisis' is often an emotional, psychological and social one. You need a plan beyond just money that includes purpose, structure and social connection.


For decades, the retirement industry has focused almost exclusively on one core question: Do you have enough money to stop working?
From investment strategies and Social Security optimization to 401(k) balances and withdrawal rates, the financial planning world has built a powerful machine to answer that question.
But what if financial security isn't the biggest challenge retirees face?
From just $107.88 $24.99 for Kiplinger Personal Finance
Be a smarter, better informed investor.

Sign up for Kiplinger’s Free Newsletters
Profit and prosper with the best of expert advice on investing, taxes, retirement, personal finance and more - straight to your e-mail.
Profit and prosper with the best of expert advice - straight to your e-mail.
What if, instead, the real retirement crisis is emotional, psychological and social?
The Kiplinger Building Wealth program handpicks financial advisers and business owners from around the world to share retirement, estate planning and tax strategies to preserve and grow your wealth. These experts, who never pay for inclusion on the site, include professional wealth managers, fiduciary financial planners, CPAs and lawyers. Most of them have certifications including CFP®, ChFC®, IAR, AIF®, CDFA® and more, and their stellar records can be checked through the SEC or FINRA.
A plan for living
Take Jim, for example. He retired at age 65 with a generous pension, a well-diversified portfolio and no debt. From any financial adviser's perspective, he was a model retiree.
But just six months later, his wife, Maddie, became concerned, explaining, "He's not himself. He's drifting. He doesn't get up at the same time anymore. He wanders around the house. He doesn't even seem happy when we travel."
Jim had the money. What he lacked was a plan for living.
For retirees, this pattern emerges again and again. People spend decades preparing for the financial aspects of retirement, but very little time considering who they'll be when their job title disappears.
They haven't thought about what will give their days meaning, how they'll stay connected or how they'll maintain a sense of identity.
Today's retirement expectations aren't a reflection of human nature
We misunderstand retirement because we've been sold a narrow version of it. The conventional model, which tells us to stop working at a fixed age and focus solely on leisure, is a relatively recent development. It's a construct of industrial economies and social policies, not a reflection of human nature.
For most of history, people didn't retire — they shifted. They moved from physically demanding roles to those of mentor, guide and caretaker. They remained embedded in their communities, and their value evolved with age.
Today, many retirees find themselves isolated. The structure, routine and social interaction that came with a job vanish overnight. Without a lifestyle plan to replace them, the result is often a slow erosion of purpose, health and joy.
It's like going off to college for the first time
Let's consider a parallel. Imagine 18-year-olds heading to college for the first time — no more curfews, no chores, no one telling them what to do. "Now I can finally do whatever I want!" they exclaim.
For the first few weeks, that freedom is intoxicating. However, the lack of structure soon catches up: Classes are missed; assignments get overlooked; sleep and diet suffer. They're free, but they're also overwhelmed.
That same experience unfolds in retirement. Freedom without intention becomes drift.
Looking for expert tips to grow and preserve your wealth? Sign up for Building Wealth, our free, twice-weekly newsletter.
This brings us to two essential, but disparate, concepts: financial planning and lifestyle planning.
Financial planning is about managing assets so you don't outlive your money. It includes budgeting, investing and tax strategy. It's critical, but it's incomplete, because no matter how solid your financial plan is, it won't tell you when to get up in the morning or why you're even getting up.
Who am I?
Lifestyle planning, on the other hand, is about designing a life of purpose, structure and connection. It asks such questions as:
- Who am I, now that I'm no longer working?
- What brings me joy?
- How do I stay engaged — mentally, physically, socially?
- What kind of legacy do I want to build?
The research is clear: Purpose matters. In a longitudinal study by researchers Patrick Hill and Nicholas Turiano, older adults with a clear sense of purpose lived significantly longer, even when controlling for age, wealth and health status.
Similarly, research from Julianne Holt-Lunstad et al. found that social isolation increases mortality risk by up to 30%.
More recent findings suggest loneliness might be a greater health risk than obesity or smoking.
Fill up that calendar
Yet, many retirees find themselves without meaningful routines or relationships after leaving the workforce. They wake up unsure of what to do. Their calendars are empty. Over time, their confidence, motivation and health begin to decline.
That's why lifestyle planning must include a strategy for maintaining physical and mental health. You don't need to train for marathons, but you do need to move daily, stay curious, learn new skills and engage in activities that stretch your mind and body in healthy ways.
Retirement, done right, isn't an ending, it's a reinvention. It's the chapter in which you finally get to integrate your experience, wisdom and values into something more personal and fulfilling. It's not a lesser version of your life, but a richer one.
If you are approaching retirement, or are already there, ask yourself:
- Are you planning for the money and the meaning?
- Have you considered your new identity, your routine and your relationships?
- Are you designing your lifestyle with the same care you gave your investment portfolio?
Your encore years are too important to leave to chance. They can be your most vibrant and purposeful chapter — if you plan for them.
Richard Himmer is the author of Your Encore Years: The Psychology of Retirement and host of the podcast How Not to Retire. Learn more at hownottoretire.com.
Related Content
- What's the Key to a Happy Retirement for a Couple?
- Key to a Happy Retirement? Finding Yourself
- The Five Stages of Retirement (and How to Skip Three of Them)
- Are You Ready for the Emotional Side of Retirement?
- The 'First Year of Retirement' Rule
Profit and prosper with the best of Kiplinger's advice on investing, taxes, retirement, personal finance and much more. Delivered daily. Enter your email in the box and click Sign Me Up.

Dr. Richard Himmer is a seasoned professional with expertise in Emotional Intelligence (EI), Clinical Hypnotherapy and Workplace Bullying prevention. He holds an MBA, a master’s degree in psychology and a PhD in Industrial and Organizational Psychology. He combines academic knowledge with practical experience. His doctoral dissertation focused on the Impact of Emotional Intelligence on Workplace Bullying, showcasing his commitment to understanding and addressing complex workplace dynamics. Dr. Himmer leverages the subconscious (EI) to facilitate internal healing, fostering healthy interpersonal relationships built on trust and respect.
-
How Fast Does Your Internet Really Need to Be?
From solo streamers to bustling smart homes, here’s how to match your internet speed to your lifestyle and know when it’s time to upgrade.
-
RMD, Roth, and SS: Test Your Knowledge of Retirement Tax Rules
Quiz Don't let the IRS catch you off guard. Take our quiz to reveal common retirement tax rules that could save (or cost) you thousands.
-
You May Want To Think Twice Before Selling These Four Assets in Retirement
Sitting on little gold mines? It's natural to want to cash out when you retire. Here’s why you may not want to.
-
I Bought Palantir When It Was Trading at $8. Now It's $180 and I've Made $1 Million. What Do I Do?
What do you do with all that appreciated Palantir stock? We asked a financial expert for advice.
-
Treat Home Equity Like Other Investments in Your Retirement Plan: Look at Its Track Record
Homeowners who are considering using home equity in their retirement plan can analyze it like they do their other investments. Here's how.
-
Why Does It Take Insurers So Darn Long to Pay Claims? An Insurance Expert Explains
The process of verification, investigation and cost assessment after a loss is complex and goes beyond simply cutting a check.
-
Two Reasons to Consider Deferred Compensation in the Wake of the OBBB, From a Financial Planner
Deferred compensation plans let you potentially lower your current taxes and help to keep you out of a higher tax bracket. It's important to consider the risks.
-
Dow Sinks 301 Points on Trade War Talk: Stock Market Today
The contentious relationship between the world's two biggest economies continues to drive global financial markets.
-
What’s the New 2026 Estate Tax Exemption Amount?
Estate Tax The IRS just increased the exemption as we enter into a promising tax year for estates and inheritances.
-
Do You Know Your ABCDs? The Essential Medicare Parts Quiz
Quiz Test your basic knowledge of different parts of Medicare in our quick quiz.