I'm a Retirement Psychologist: Money Won't Buy You Happiness in Your Life After Work
While financial security is crucial for retirement, the true 'retirement crisis' is often an emotional, psychological and social one. You need a plan beyond just money that includes purpose, structure and social connection.


For decades, the retirement industry has focused almost exclusively on one core question: Do you have enough money to stop working?
From investment strategies and Social Security optimization to 401(k) balances and withdrawal rates, the financial planning world has built a powerful machine to answer that question.
But what if financial security isn't the biggest challenge retirees face?

Sign up for Kiplinger’s Free E-Newsletters
Profit and prosper with the best of expert advice on investing, taxes, retirement, personal finance and more - straight to your e-mail.
Profit and prosper with the best of expert advice - straight to your e-mail.
What if, instead, the real retirement crisis is emotional, psychological and social?
The Kiplinger Building Wealth program handpicks financial advisers and business owners from around the world to share retirement, estate planning and tax strategies to preserve and grow your wealth. These experts, who never pay for inclusion on the site, include professional wealth managers, fiduciary financial planners, CPAs and lawyers. Most of them have certifications including CFP®, ChFC®, IAR, AIF®, CDFA® and more, and their stellar records can be checked through the SEC or FINRA.
A plan for living
Take Jim, for example. He retired at age 65 with a generous pension, a well-diversified portfolio and no debt. From any financial adviser's perspective, he was a model retiree.
But just six months later, his wife, Maddie, became concerned, explaining, "He's not himself. He's drifting. He doesn't get up at the same time anymore. He wanders around the house. He doesn't even seem happy when we travel."
Jim had the money. What he lacked was a plan for living.
For retirees, this pattern emerges again and again. People spend decades preparing for the financial aspects of retirement, but very little time considering who they'll be when their job title disappears.
They haven't thought about what will give their days meaning, how they'll stay connected or how they'll maintain a sense of identity.
Today's retirement expectations aren't a reflection of human nature
We misunderstand retirement because we've been sold a narrow version of it. The conventional model, which tells us to stop working at a fixed age and focus solely on leisure, is a relatively recent development. It's a construct of industrial economies and social policies, not a reflection of human nature.
For most of history, people didn't retire — they shifted. They moved from physically demanding roles to those of mentor, guide and caretaker. They remained embedded in their communities, and their value evolved with age.
Today, many retirees find themselves isolated. The structure, routine and social interaction that came with a job vanish overnight. Without a lifestyle plan to replace them, the result is often a slow erosion of purpose, health and joy.
It's like going off to college for the first time
Let's consider a parallel. Imagine 18-year-olds heading to college for the first time — no more curfews, no chores, no one telling them what to do. "Now I can finally do whatever I want!" they exclaim.
For the first few weeks, that freedom is intoxicating. However, the lack of structure soon catches up: Classes are missed; assignments get overlooked; sleep and diet suffer. They're free, but they're also overwhelmed.
That same experience unfolds in retirement. Freedom without intention becomes drift.
Looking for expert tips to grow and preserve your wealth? Sign up for Building Wealth, our free, twice-weekly newsletter.
This brings us to two essential, but disparate, concepts: financial planning and lifestyle planning.
Financial planning is about managing assets so you don't outlive your money. It includes budgeting, investing and tax strategy. It's critical, but it's incomplete, because no matter how solid your financial plan is, it won't tell you when to get up in the morning or why you're even getting up.
Who am I?
Lifestyle planning, on the other hand, is about designing a life of purpose, structure and connection. It asks such questions as:
- Who am I, now that I'm no longer working?
- What brings me joy?
- How do I stay engaged — mentally, physically, socially?
- What kind of legacy do I want to build?
The research is clear: Purpose matters. In a longitudinal study by researchers Patrick Hill and Nicholas Turiano, older adults with a clear sense of purpose lived significantly longer, even when controlling for age, wealth and health status.
Similarly, research from Julianne Holt-Lunstad et al. found that social isolation increases mortality risk by up to 30%.
More recent findings suggest loneliness might be a greater health risk than obesity or smoking.
Fill up that calendar
Yet, many retirees find themselves without meaningful routines or relationships after leaving the workforce. They wake up unsure of what to do. Their calendars are empty. Over time, their confidence, motivation and health begin to decline.
That's why lifestyle planning must include a strategy for maintaining physical and mental health. You don't need to train for marathons, but you do need to move daily, stay curious, learn new skills and engage in activities that stretch your mind and body in healthy ways.
Retirement, done right, isn't an ending, it's a reinvention. It's the chapter in which you finally get to integrate your experience, wisdom and values into something more personal and fulfilling. It's not a lesser version of your life, but a richer one.
If you are approaching retirement, or are already there, ask yourself:
- Are you planning for the money and the meaning?
- Have you considered your new identity, your routine and your relationships?
- Are you designing your lifestyle with the same care you gave your investment portfolio?
Your encore years are too important to leave to chance. They can be your most vibrant and purposeful chapter — if you plan for them.
Richard Himmer is the author of Your Encore Years: The Psychology of Retirement and host of the podcast How Not to Retire. Learn more at hownottoretire.com.
Related Content
- What's the Key to a Happy Retirement for a Couple?
- Key to a Happy Retirement? Finding Yourself
- The Five Stages of Retirement (and How to Skip Three of Them)
- Are You Ready for the Emotional Side of Retirement?
- The 'First Year of Retirement' Rule
Profit and prosper with the best of Kiplinger's advice on investing, taxes, retirement, personal finance and much more. Delivered daily. Enter your email in the box and click Sign Me Up.

Dr. Richard Himmer is a seasoned professional with expertise in Emotional Intelligence (EI), Clinical Hypnotherapy and Workplace Bullying prevention. He holds an MBA, a master’s degree in psychology and a PhD in Industrial and Organizational Psychology. He combines academic knowledge with practical experience. His doctoral dissertation focused on the Impact of Emotional Intelligence on Workplace Bullying, showcasing his commitment to understanding and addressing complex workplace dynamics. Dr. Himmer leverages the subconscious (EI) to facilitate internal healing, fostering healthy interpersonal relationships built on trust and respect.
-
Ask the Editor — Tax Questions on Inherited IRAs
Ask the Editor In this week's Ask the Editor Q&A, we answer tax questions from readers on the rules on inheriting IRAs.
-
I Asked Experts When It's Worth Splurging on Beauty and Skincare — and When You Can Save
Smart Shopping Experts agree that while you don't have to spend three figures on your products, some higher-priced items have value.
-
The Retirement 'Rule of $1 More'
The 'Rule of $1 More' explains how to plan for critical retirement thresholds. Because "you don't want to step off a cliff just because of $1 more."
-
Recent Market Volatility Offers Valuable Lessons for Investors
Stocks will always rise and fall, but strategic investors can benefit through dollar-cost averaging, rebalancing in down markets and taking the long view.
-
Retiring Early? This Strategy Cuts Your Income Tax to Zero
When retiring early, married couples can use this little-known (and legitimate) strategy to take a six-figure income every year — tax-free.
-
Ditch the Golf Shoes: Your Retirement Needs a Side Gig
A side gig in retirement can help combat boredom, loneliness and the threat of inflation eroding your savings. And the earlier you start planning, the better.
-
The $33,000 Retirement: One Man's Surprising Path to Financial Freedom at 61
Forget what society tells you, even with less than $1 million, you can be happy in retirement.
-
The Best Aerospace and Defense ETFs to Buy
The best aerospace and defense ETFs can help investors capitalize on higher government defense spending or hedge against the potential of a large-scale conflict.
-
Roth IRA Conversions in the Summer? Why Now May Be the Sweet Spot
Converting now would enable you to spread a possible tax hit over more than one payment while reducing future taxes.
-
A Financial Expert's Three Steps to Becoming Debt-Free (Even in This Economy)
If debt has you spiraling, now is the time to take a few common-sense steps to help knock it down and get it under control.