I Love You, But Your ‘I Love You Will’ Needs to Go
An ‘I Love You Will’ works great as long as everything goes as planned, but there are three reasons that kind of will may not love you back.


Are you and your spouse planning to write your wills this season? Congrats! Will-writing is one of the most loving things you can do for each other and for all the people and causes that matter most to your life.
But if you’re thinking about implementing simple “I Love You Wills,” read on. While this simple will plan design can work well for many couples, for others, the practical impact is not very loving.
What Is an I Love You Will?
I Love You Wills generally refer to reciprocal last wills and testament created by spouses. In their wills, each spouse leaves their entire estate to the other spouse outright, and then, in most cases, upon the death of the surviving spouse, the remaining assets are slated to pass to their mutual children.

Sign up for Kiplinger’s Free E-Newsletters
Profit and prosper with the best of expert advice on investing, taxes, retirement, personal finance and more - straight to your e-mail.
Profit and prosper with the best of expert advice - straight to your e-mail.
These types of wills are often created by individuals making their wills for the first time who have simple estates and are anxious to have something in place before an important life event (like getting married, having a first child or taking a long family vacation). Others who create I Love You Wills may do so because they find the process of will creation emotionally draining or overly depressing (who wants to talk about death?) and seek out the simplest plan design rather than something more thoughtful that may take multiple rounds of drafting with an attorney.
I Love You Wills are popular because they are a simple and relatively inexpensive estate plan that, when circumstances go as planned, can effectively facilitate the plan of a couple with straightforward wishes and an uncomplicated estate — including the naming of a guardian for their minor children and pets and the distribution of their assets to their loved ones — thereby avoiding intestacy (that is, dying without a will).
Below are a few challenges that you may want to think about when considering if an I Love You Will is right for you.
Challenge #1: Control Upon the Survivor’s Death
One of the most often cited concerns about an I Love You Will plan is that the surviving spouse can change their will after the first spouse’s death (as long as they have capacity). More particularly, they can easily eliminate or reduce gifts to children of the marriage in favor of a new spouse, new or stepchildren or other beneficiaries who are not part of the original couple’s plan design.
Building a trust for the surviving spouse upon the first spouse’s death can help “lock in” the originally intended beneficiaries. By appointing an independent trustee or co-trustee to serve alongside the surviving spouse and assess distribution decisions, it also makes it more difficult for assets acquired during the marriage to benefit new families or for the surviving spouse to disinherit mutual children.
Challenge #2: Lost Opportunity for a ‘Primary’ Charitable Bequest
Most spouses do intend to benefit their surviving spouse with the majority of their assets. However, philanthropically minded people often feel strongly about leaving something directly on their passing to a cause that matters most (like, “Upon my death, I give $100 to [Favorite Charity]”), rather than waiting until both spouses have passed (like, “Upon my death, if my spouse has predeceased me, I give $100 to [Favorite Charity]”) to start making a difference.
A plan design that simply states that all assets pass on the death of the first spouse to the survivor — including an I Love You Will plan — does not afford this opportunity to immediately create a lasting legacy and sustain an important cause for generations to come.
Challenge #3: No Incapacity Protection
Imagine if at the time of your passing, your surviving spouse was incapacitated and couldn’t manage their financial affairs — including any inheritance. Most people would prefer to have their spouse’s inheritance managed by a trusted family member or friend nominated by them as opposed to being left to the discretion of a court (remember the court can select someone to oversee the funds whom you would not have picked).
An arrangement that leaves assets outright to the surviving spouse is less protective in such an event. On the other hand, establishing a trust for the surviving spouse under the management of a trusted nominee you select can help ensure that assets are managed sensibly for their benefit if they are or become unable to independently manage their finances.
Takeaway
Two-thirds of American adults report not having a last will and testament. Estate planning professionals agree that in most cases having a simple will — including an I Love You Will — is much better than having no will at all.
In addition to providing for the distribution of assets on death, spouses use their I Love You Wills to name guardians for minor children and pets, will executors (and sometimes digital executors to handle a will-maker’s digital accounts and assets) to settle their estates and account for the payment of estate expenses, including taxes. Also, simple I Love You Wills can perform admirably when everything goes as expected.
However, in certain cases, implementing an I Love You Will can have unintended consequences or represent missed opportunities to start supporting a favorite cause at the first spouse’s death or protect a loved one — including in the event of incapacity.
So if you and your spouse are getting ready to write your wills this season — whether it’s an I Love You Will or a plan design with a bit more complexity — be sure to be thoughtful and intentional, and to select the plan that is going to love you back.
Profit and prosper with the best of Kiplinger's advice on investing, taxes, retirement, personal finance and much more. Delivered daily. Enter your email in the box and click Sign Me Up.

Allison L. Lee is the Attorney-at-Law, Director Trusts & Estate Content for FreeWill, a mission-based public benefit corporation that partners with nonprofits to provide a simple, intuitive and efficient online self-help platform to create wills and other estate planning documents free of cost. Through its work democratizing access to these tools, FreeWill has helped raise billions for charity. Prior to joining FreeWill, Allison spent more than a decade in private practice.
-
Stock Market Today: Another Quarter, More Mixed Price Action
"Up and to the right" remains the general trend despite persistent uncertainty around critical policy issues.
-
Over 100k Medicare Accounts Breached in Latest Hack: Was Yours One?
Letters are going out to 103,000 Medicare beneficiaries who may have been impacted. Here's how to protect your identity and benefits.
-
Why Homeowners Should Beware of Tangled Titles
If you're planning to pass down property to your heirs, a 'tangled title' can complicate things. The good news is it can be avoided. Here's how.
-
A Cautionary Tale: Why Older Adults Should Think Twice About Being Landlords
Becoming a landlord late in life can be a risky venture because of potential health issues, cognitive challenges and susceptibility to financial exploitation.
-
Home Equity Evolution: A Fresh Approach to Funding Life's Biggest Needs
Homeowners leverage their home equity through various strategies, such as HELOCs or reverse mortgages. A newer option: Shared equity models. How do those work, and what are the pros and cons?
-
Eight Tips From a Financial Caddie: How to Keep Your Retirement on the Fairway
Think of your financial adviser as a golf caddie — giving you the advice you need to nail the retirement course, avoiding financial bunkers and bogeys.
-
Just Sold Your Business? Avoid These Five Hasty Moves
If you've exited your business, financial advice is likely to be flooding in from all quarters. But wait until the dust settles before making any big moves.
-
You Were Planning to Retire This Year: Should You Go Ahead?
If the economic climate is making you doubt whether you should retire this year, these three questions will help you make up your mind.
-
Are You Owed Money Thanks to the SSFA? You Might Need to Do Something to Get It
The Social Security Fairness Act removed restrictions on benefits for people with government pensions. If you're one of them, don't leave money on the table. Here's how you can be proactive in claiming what you're due.
-
From Wills to Wishes: An Expert Guide to Your Estate Planning Playbook
Consider supplementing your traditional legal documents with this essential road map to guide your loved ones through the emotional and logistical details that will follow your loss.