Seven Ways to Be an Absolute Jerk as a Lawyer

A businessman pouts and gives a thumbs-down like a jerk.

(Image credit: Getty Images)

published 3 December 2024

“Law is adversarial. Many lawyers have type-A personalities, feeling they just have to win, and some feel they will increase their chances of success by being absolute jerks to opposing counsel. Nothing could be further from the truth,” says Eastman, Ga., attorney Ron Daniels.

That reality — and the need for greater civility in the legal profession — is the theme of a highly informative continuing legal education podcast presented by Daniels for LearnFormula, a producer of professional development and continuing education courses for CPAs, attorneys, engineers and HR professionals, among other professions.

I asked Daniels to list some of the behaviors that damage lawyers’ relationships and reputations while also driving up attorney fees. He shared these seven thoughts:

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1. Being unkind

The easiest way to set a relationship off on the wrong foot is to show anger or spite.

“Dennis, just imagine if I said, ‘Your position is completely unfounded, and I doubt that you passed the bar,’” Daniels posits. “Your mission will become to work harder than you would have in the first place to prove me wrong. Guess who pays? My client.”

H. Dennis Beaver

After attending Loyola University School of Law, H. Dennis Beaver joined California's Kern County District Attorney's Office, where he established a Consumer Fraud section. He is in the general practice of law and writes a syndicated newspaper column. "I love law for the reason that I can help people resolve their problems," he says. "I know it sounds corny, but I just love to be able to use my education and experience to help — simply to help. When a reader contacts me, it is a gift."

2. Not letting things simmer before responding

Today, with email, we can respond immediately, and that is dangerous.

Before email, Daniels points out, we had to type a letter. That, in and of itself, required thought and reflection on what we were going to say. “But with text and email, there is little time to think about the consequences as we respond without reflection and might say things that cause trouble. Taking the time to pause is critical.”

I will add that the same advice applies at home with our partner and kids, by the way.

3. Giving in to clients and doing whatever they want you to do

“We are advocates,” Daniels says. “Our duty is to tell clients what they need to hear and should not do. Most do not hire us because we are yes people. We are considered to be attorneys and counselors at law, which means you counsel your clients about the facts, their position, the law and what their options are.”

We have all had demanding clients, and sometimes it is easier to say, “This is a really bad idea, but if you want to do it, OK, we will,” rather than, “You’re wrong. I’m not going to do that.”

“If other lawyers and judges know that you’re ‘letting the client drive the car,’ you lose credibility with your legal community,” Daniels adds. “People lose respect for lawyers who prostitute themselves for a buck.”

4. Failing to treat everyone with fairness, dignity and respect

Considering yourself superior to others, and acting that way, just because you are a lawyer is self-defeating. “From the courthouse custodian to the court clerk — especially the court clerk, who may be the most important person in the courtroom — it is critical to treat people with fairness, dignity and respect,” Daniels notes.

Be aware that you live in a very small world. If you act rudely, there is a good chance that someone will mention it or post video on the internet. Bad behavior anywhere can harm your business, whether you’re a lawyer or other professional. So, know when to be quiet.

5. Being impatient

A good lawyer needs to understand that other attorneys have demands on their time and aren’t always able to respond immediately to your requests.

The flip side of the coin, Daniels says, is, “Do not create false expectations of when you can have something completed or if you can accomplish what you’ve promised. Be grounded in reality. If you are not, you lose credibility with your staff, the court and other lawyers, and you can wind up losing clients.

6. Responding to sarcasm with more sarcasm

When you get hit with a sarcastic comment from another lawyer, don’t immediately respond. Some response is required, of course, but let it rest for a while. When you do respond, do not stoop to their level, but point out any factual misstatements they have made in their letter or other communication. “Never forget that others will read your response,” Daniels warns. “Be professional! Let the other guy wear a badge that says, ‘I’m a jerk!’”

7. Arguing about everything during a deposition

If you argue about every detail, no matter how insignificant, you make the deposition much longer than necessary. Same if you refuse to answer discovery questions using hypertechnical objections. Your job is not to be obnoxious and make life difficult for your opponent. You shouldn’t be thinking, Courtesy is for sissies! This is war! Plus, doing these things increases the cost of litigation to both sides.

Daniels concluded our interview by recommending clients consider writing on their lawyer’s retainer language something along these lines: Attorney shall copy client on all correspondence of whatever kind, including depositions, within three days of receipt and will provide a summary of all telephone calls.

“Read everything and speak up politely if it appears your lawyer is giving in to anger and running up your bill,” Daniels says. “Incivility has a price, and you should not be paying it.”

Dennis Beaver practices law in Bakersfield, Calif., and welcomes comments and questions from readers, which may be faxed to (661) 323-7993, or e-mailed to Lagombeaver1@gmail.com. And be sure to visit dennisbeaver.com.

Disclaimer

This article was written by and presents the views of our contributing adviser, not the Kiplinger editorial staff. You can check adviser records with the SEC or with FINRA.

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After attending Loyola University School of Law, H. Dennis Beaver joined California's Kern County District Attorney's Office, where he established a Consumer Fraud section. He is in the general practice of law and writes a syndicated newspaper column, "You and the Law." Through his column, he offers readers in need of down-to-earth advice his help free of charge. "I know it sounds corny, but I just love to be able to use my education and experience to help, simply to help. When a reader contacts me, it is a gift."