How Far Should a Lawyer Go to Honor His Duty to a Client?
Relationships with friends and family can be at risk when a lawyer is faced with an ethical obligation to warn them of potential trouble ahead.
Profit and prosper with the best of Kiplinger's advice on investing, taxes, retirement, personal finance and much more. Delivered daily. Enter your email in the box and click Sign Me Up.
You are now subscribed
Your newsletter sign-up was successful
Want to add more newsletters?
Delivered daily
Kiplinger Today
Profit and prosper with the best of Kiplinger's advice on investing, taxes, retirement, personal finance and much more delivered daily. Smart money moves start here.
Sent five days a week
Kiplinger A Step Ahead
Get practical help to make better financial decisions in your everyday life, from spending to savings on top deals.
Delivered daily
Kiplinger Closing Bell
Get today's biggest financial and investing headlines delivered to your inbox every day the U.S. stock market is open.
Sent twice a week
Kiplinger Adviser Intel
Financial pros across the country share best practices and fresh tactics to preserve and grow your wealth.
Delivered weekly
Kiplinger Tax Tips
Trim your federal and state tax bills with practical tax-planning and tax-cutting strategies.
Sent twice a week
Kiplinger Retirement Tips
Your twice-a-week guide to planning and enjoying a financially secure and richly rewarding retirement
Sent bimonthly.
Kiplinger Adviser Angle
Insights for advisers, wealth managers and other financial professionals.
Sent twice a week
Kiplinger Investing Weekly
Your twice-a-week roundup of promising stocks, funds, companies and industries you should consider, ones you should avoid, and why.
Sent weekly for six weeks
Kiplinger Invest for Retirement
Your step-by-step six-part series on how to invest for retirement, from devising a successful strategy to exactly which investments to choose.
Lawyers have a duty to advise their clients of potholes in the road of which they might not be aware. As you will see, at times this becomes complicated, when “who is the client?” becomes a difficult question to answer.
When the lawyer feels that a certain ethical course of conduct must be undertaken, but his wife — who is also his paralegal — disagrees, the stage is set for a conflict among friends and family, as you will see.
Retired teachers Helen and Ray (all names have been changed) are decades-long friends of lawyer Steve and Susan. Helen and Ray consider Steve to be their family attorney, while they have never signed a retainer nor has Steve charged for the occasional bit of legal advice. Both Helen and Susan are from an Asian country where face-saving and avoiding discord are cultural norms.
From just $107.88 $24.99 for Kiplinger Personal Finance
Become a smarter, better informed investor. Subscribe from just $107.88 $24.99, plus get up to 4 Special Issues
Sign up for Kiplinger’s Free Newsletters
Profit and prosper with the best of expert advice on investing, taxes, retirement, personal finance and more - straight to your e-mail.
Profit and prosper with the best of expert advice - straight to your e-mail.
Helen underwent total thyroid-removal surgery with an excellent outcome at a well-respected teaching hospital and returned home to be followed by her own physician, as these operations require close monitoring of important blood chemistries.
But she was not properly monitored, and several days after returning home, she began to hallucinate, lost consciousness, experienced hundreds of seizures and fell into a coma. Blood chemistries were obtained upon her admission to the hospital that were completely abnormal! Helen was the victim of gross medical malpractice.
She is now essentially in a vegetative state, and it is evident that she will require expensive skilled nursing care for the rest of her life. She is in her mid-70s, and her husband is in his mid-80s and basically in denial.
To add insult to injury, the local neurologist told her husband and adult children that she would never improve and recommended stopping life support. But then, her son said, “We were told to have the brain scans sent to physicians back East, and they said not to stop life support, so we did not.”
It is a decision that friends and other family members deeply regret.
Attorney Steve Advised Obtaining Medical Records at Once
When Helen was first taken to the ER, attorney Steve told Ray and their adult son, who never had an attorney-client relationship with Steve, “Get copies of the chart and all medical records now! This should not have happened!”
He also sent them a softly worded email saying the same thing and offered to refer them to a medical malpractice attorney. No response.
Two months later, he sent another email, urging the same, which upset Susan, who told him to leave them alone. Steve told her that he did not want to find himself in a position of being blamed — and sued — for their friends and children not seeking counsel or filing suit in a timely manner even if it was just to preserve the statute of limitations for medical malpractice.
Steve believes that he has a duty to do what he can so they do not blow the statute or fail to get important records now and so they at least have a consult with a med-mal attorney. He wants to send them a more urgent email, but his wife again says, “Leave them alone!”
A Retired Medical Malpractice Attorney Shares Her Views
“Judy G,” a retired Los Angeles med-mal attorney, offered these observations. “Steve’s duty as a lawyer is to do what he thinks he is ethically required to do, rather than refrain because his wife doesn’t want to bother their friends. The question can be framed in terms of ‘what can I do to let them know what they risk if they don’t act?’ vs. ‘will this make Susan cranky?’ They need to be made aware of statutes of limitation for various actions, including possible wrongful death. So whether these horses want to drink the water or not, at least he’s trying to get them to the well.”
A Retired Los Angeles County Judge Gives His Opinion
Retired L.A. County Superior Court “M.A” offered his opinion. “Steve is volunteering legal advice when he says, ‘Get the chart.’ He sort of protects himself by sending an email offering to recommend a med-mal attorney. He should have added language like, ‘I may be a lawyer, but I cannot represent you in this situation, because I am not qualified to handle medical malpractice cases. But I think you need a medical malpractice lawyer, and if you want, I can give you some names.’
“To really insulate himself, he should go further and say something like, ‘Don’t wait around. Take action soon. There are statutes of limitations that, if you miss them, will cut off your ability to sue.’ But definitely he should put it in writing, even to his closest friend, his sister, anyone. You cannot be too careful.”
What Kind of a Lawyer Do You Want?
This tragic situation raises important questions: Just what kind of a lawyer do you want? Someone “gutsy” who will stand up for what is right and has the courage to tell you how much trouble you will face by not following their advice? Or Casper Milquetoast, Esq., a wimp with a law degree — of which the legal profession has its share.
Some clients, or folks who might consider themselves clients — in this case, the poor woman’s adult children — are frozen in fear, taking no action when it is critical that they act now. They need a not-so-gentle kick in the behind to provoke a needed response.
Their lawyer friend advised them about potholes in the road of which they might not be aware, and that was his duty as a lawyer, despite the potential for creating discord.
Dennis Beaver practices law in Bakersfield, Calif., and welcomes comments and questions from readers, which may be faxed to (661) 323-7993, or e-mailed to Lagombeaver1@gmail.com. And be sure to visit dennisbeaver.com.
Profit and prosper with the best of Kiplinger's advice on investing, taxes, retirement, personal finance and much more. Delivered daily. Enter your email in the box and click Sign Me Up.

After attending Loyola University School of Law, H. Dennis Beaver joined California's Kern County District Attorney's Office, where he established a Consumer Fraud section. He is in the general practice of law and writes a syndicated newspaper column, You and the Law. Through his column, he offers readers in need of down-to-earth advice his help free of charge. "I know it sounds corny, but I just love to be able to use my education and experience to help, simply to help. When a reader contacts me, it is a gift."
-
How to Derisk Your Portfolio in 2026: A Step-by-Step GuideSigns of a possible economic slowdown call for balanced derisking that locks in portfolio gains without sacrificing future upside. Here's a step-by-step guide.
-
Tariffs: An Uninvited Valentine's Day GuestExpect to pay more for flowers and chocolates this year or find creative alternatives to save on Valentine's Day without looking cheap.
-
Should I sell my silverware and gold jewelry now that prices are high?My family silver and gold have sentimental value, but I hardly use them. Should I sell? We asked a professional metals dealer and investment adviser to weigh in.
-
I'm a Financial Adviser: Here's How to Help Derisk Your Portfolio in 2026Signs of a possible economic slowdown call for balanced derisking that locks in portfolio gains without sacrificing future upside. Here's a step-by-step guide.
-
The 5 Biggest Tax Mistakes New Retirees Make in the First 5 YearsMaking the wrong tax moves in the first few years of retirement can be costly for you and your heirs. These are the five biggest mistakes to avoid.
-
Inherited an IRA? Don't Fall Into the 10-Year Tax TrapRules on inherited IRAs have tightened, and most non-spouse beneficiaries must empty the pot in 10 years or face stiff penalties. That calls for an action plan.
-
I'm a Retirement Psychologist: This Is Why a Supportive Marriage May Matter More Than Money in RetirementIn retirement, health is as important as finance. And research shows people in supportive marriages have fewer issues with weight, metabolism and self-control.
-
How Money Guilt Holds Women Back (and How You Can Send It Packing)Women shouldn't let guilt limit the way they manage their hard-earned wealth. It's time to separate emotion from financial decision-making.
-
Making Sports Bets vs Investing in ETFs: A Lesson in Expected Returns From an Investing ProThe difference between sports betting and investing: One requires patience and diligence and has a positive long-term return, and the other is a zero-sum game.
-
Don't Bury Your Kids in Taxes: How to Position Your Investments to Help Create More Wealth for ThemTo minimize your heirs' tax burden, focus on aligning your investment account types and assets with your estate plan, and pay attention to the impact of RMDs.
-
Are You 'Too Old' to Benefit From an Annuity?Probably not, even if you're in your 70s or 80s, but it depends on your circumstances and the kind of annuity you're considering.