How to Plan a (Successful) Family Reunion
From shaping the guest list to building the budget, here's how to design a successful and memorable gathering.
More than 200,000 family reunions take place in the U.S. each year, according to research by GroupTravel.org, a website that helps people book group rates for hotels, airfare and more. Families who attend reunions enjoy a renewed connection with loved ones they already know and a chance to meet more-distant relatives.
A reunion can also inspire guests to learn about their family history. "It's a great opportunity for people to have fun, get to know each other and create the kind of memories that they’re going to talk about for years," says Suzanne Vargus Holloman, co-director of the Family Reunion Institute.
Most families hold reunions in the summer, over the course of about three days. That tends to offer them enough time to reconnect while also keeping the costs associated with hosting the reunion manageable. Especially for a multi-day event, a family reunion requires careful planning, well in advance, with intentional organization, realistic budgeting and clear communication. Use our guide to structure a family reunion that’s memorable, meaningful and fun.
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Getting started with family reunion plans
Planning a reunion is a multistep project, and it's often too much for one person to tackle unassisted. To ease the load, pull together a core team of organizers among your family members, and reach out to them well ahead of the date you are thinking of holding the event.
Ideally, you'll begin 18 to 24 months in advance — especially if it's your family's first time hosting a reunion — to avoid rushing and allow you time to deal with inevitable bumps in the road, says Vargus Holloman.
Before you settle on roles for each member of the planning committee or make any assumptions about how the reunion should go, you might first survey your extended family to get their thoughts on preferred dates, locations, activities and budget comfort levels. Try using an online tool such as SurveyMonkey or Doodle.
Consider including younger family members in early planning conversations, too. For example, you could set up a Zoom call for teens and young adults to gather ideas and build early engagement, says Vargus Holloman.
As your vision takes shape, assemble a planning committee to support it, designating a chair who oversees all the planning as well as heads of several subcommittees. How you choose to divide up the work will depend on how many hands you have on deck as well as the scope of your reunion.
These are some of the subcommittees you may want to include:
- Activities and Events: Builds the schedule of events, ensuring options for all ages in attendance. (See the box below for more on the types of activities you may want to include.)
- Communications: Manages an e-mail list and perhaps a reunion website or a group on Facebook for communication within the extended family. Even after the reunion is over, these communication channels are often a way for family members to keep in touch and share news and updates with one another — and you can reuse them for future reunion coordination, says Vargus Holloman.
- Budget and Finance: Creates the budget and tracks expenses. Additionally, the budget committee can manage payments and negotiations with venues and vendors. Or assign those tasks to a separate venue-coordination committee.
- Family History: Researches the family's lineage, ensuring that the guest list includes everyone on the chosen branches of your family tree. They might also work with the activities subcommittee to develop programming inspired by your family's history.
If you don't have enough family volunteers to assemble a full team, you might consider hiring a professional event planner to help fill the gaps. Or, if you are putting together a large reunion, with upward of 200 guests, a professional may be best equipped to handle the job.
An event planner often charges a set price for a specific set of services, ranging from about $1,000 for limited or basic help to $10,000 or more for comprehensive planning.
For a more affordable alternative, consider enlisting a day-of event coordinator, who can help free up family organizers to participate in and enjoy the reunion. Some higher-end venues may include a coordinator in their services.
Typically, a day-of coordinator charges from about $800 to $3,000. The costs will depend on your location and the size and complexity of your event, as well as your coordinator’s experience and qualifications.
Funding the family reunion fun
Establishing a clear budget is key to the success of your family reunion. Start by asking yourself three questions: How many guests will you invite? How many days will it last? What cost level is comfortable for most attendees?
Limiting the size of your guest list is the primary way to keep your expenses under control. A picnic with fewer than 50 family members in a single afternoon, for example, will incur significantly lower costs than a weekend-long gathering with 150 relatives. And as you address the third question, keep in mind that a reunion spread over several days may be more costly than a one-day event for guests who have to book accommodations.
Then consider other factors that will affect your costs, including the type of venue you'll use (more on that below). Parks and community centers are among the most affordable options. Food and beverages will also likely account for a large portion of your budget.
Mixing in a few potluck-style gatherings among any catered or restaurant meals can trim your expenses. You might also consider relying on volunteer talent for entertainment, photography or decorations.
Dividing and tracking the expenses
You'll also need to sort out who's footing the bills. Is one person paying for the whole event, or will a few family members contribute? To further spread out the costs, you could ask all guests to pay a flat fee to attend. Or take a pay-as-you-go approach for activities.
You might, for example, offer options such as zip lining, bowling, a boat ride, a restaurant brunch and a catered dinner, asking each household to pay a fee for each activity they choose to participate in. You could use this approach for swag or souvenirs, too, e-mailing guests in advance to take orders for T-shirts, tote bags or other items.
If you're collecting money from relatives, invite them to help create the budget. Make your spending plans transparent from the outset so they know where their money is going and there are no surprises. A good way to do that is to set up a shared spreadsheet, such as with Google Sheets. "Tracking expenses carefully is a must," says Alvin Carlos, a certified financial planner based in Washington, D.C.
In your shared spreadsheet, list all expected costs — from food to lodging to T-shirts to decorations — and then fill in actual spending as it happens, says Carlos. "That way, everyone can see where the money's going, and no one feels left in the dark," he says.
As you estimate the costs, leave some cushion in your budget. It's wise to add 10% or more for unexpected expenses. "Most people underestimate how much things cost," says Carlos. It may be worth establishing a dedicated emergency fund.
Check the spreadsheet frequently. That way, you can act promptly if expenses are pushing the limits of your budget. Think about how you'll handle overspending before it happens; you may want to scale back on a particular activity, for instance, if you see that the costs to do it are adding up quickly.
On the flip side, you'll want to decide what to do with any leftover funds; you might save them for a future reunion or donate them to a predetermined cause.
Choosing the date and place
When you set the date for your family reunion, consider that school breaks and major holidays tend to coincide with peak travel periods and drive up travel costs.
Holding the reunion during an off-peak period, such as the fall shoulder season (mid-September to early November) or in late January through early March can keep travel expenses down. This may limit who can attend, particularly families with school-age children. But it's worth asking your relatives what might work for them before you settle on a date; you may be surprised by their flexibility. After you've polled your family members, pick a date that works with as many guests' schedules as possible.
As you narrow down a location, try to match it to your family's size, budget and interests. For a more casual event, ideas include a public park, community center, beach or lodge at a state park. While they may require a little bit more do-it-yourself work and expose you to weather risks, destinations such as these tend to be affordable and offer decent availability (although some sought-after sites may have high fees or long wait-lists).
Many campgrounds also offer reasonable pricing, as well as accommodations and a selection of family-friendly activities. For instance, Sandy Pines Campground in Kennebunkport, Maine, has a variety of lodging types, including traditional tent sites, "glamp" tents, RV sites and cottages, with prices ranging from about $75 to $250 per night. Amenities include lawn games, a "Kids' Kamp" with a playground and children's games, bike and boat rentals, and a heated saltwater pool.
If you prefer a more formal setting, you can opt for a resort, a hotel with a banquet room, or a retreat center. These venues may be more convenient and offer attractive amenities, although they come with a higher price tag.
The historic Adolphus Hotel, in Dallas, recently listed prices starting at about $175 per person for reception and catering packages; venue packages ranged from $5,000 to as much as $100,000. (With a venue package, you're typically charged a flat fee to use the event space, rather than by the guest, and it may include tables, chairs, linens, and food and drinks.)
For a casual venue, you can usually book six to 12 months out. But you'll want to make your reservation earlier than 12 months out for popular parks or campgrounds during peak seasons. For resorts and other venues that are more formal, it's best to book at least 12 to 18 months in advance to get your desired dates. And be aware that there will be competition for summer weekends; the longer you wait to book, the fewer dates may be available.
Look for price breaks as you compare venues. Sometimes, residents of a given locality get a discount. In St. Johns County, Fla., for instance, residents who reserve a beach pavilion at the Promenade at Pier Park enjoy a discount of $100, paying a daily rate of $250 plus tax instead of $350.
Sometimes, hotels and resorts bundle services together, waiving event-space rental fees if you book a certain number of rooms or reserve other spaces on the property.
Tackling the guest list
Composing the guest list may require a little research — or a lot, depending on how far you go on the family tree. If you prefer to host a small and intimate reunion, you might invite one branch, rather than the full extended family. Regardless of your approach, clarify which ancestor's or relative's lineage you're tracing.
Compiling a complete and inclusive guest list is important. After all, a reunion is designed to bring family together, and ensuring that you invite everyone from the selected lineage avoids hurt feelings. "Leaving out a branch — accidentally or otherwise — can create long-term problems," says Vargus Holloman.
Vargus Holloman recommends leaning on expert resources to research lineage. For example, you might try Genealogy Quick Start. Its YouTube channel features videos with guidance on how to effectively use major genealogy tools such as Ancestry.com and FamilySearch.org, as well as databases and archives, including census records and immigration or naturalization records.
If you've designated a family-history research committee, they can compile notes on your family's lineage, interview elders and even create a preliminary family tree. They may want to contact representatives of each branch of the family to confirm names and spellings as well as updated mailing and e-mail addresses.
Activities that make your event meaningful
As you put together a schedule of events and activities, keep in mind that a healthy mix of structured and unstructured time gives guests a chance to both feel engaged and relax together. For example, while children are doing a scavenger hunt, craft stations or field games, adults could enjoy a coffee or cocktail hour or take a break to explore the location before a more structured event that everyone attends later.
Think about ways that you can celebrate and honor your family's unique history. Presenting a slideshow of family photos stretching back over the years, for instance, may prompt guests to reminisce about memories together and learn about the family members who preceded them. (To gather photos, you could send an e-mail to guests in advance of the reunion with a request for contributions.)
The slideshow can run on a loop at an event, or you can designate a time for everyone to watch at once. Another idea: Create a photo wall, perhaps including photographs of milestones such as births, graduations and marriages. Consider leveraging free or low-cost tech tools for your visuals. Canva, for example, can be useful for composing photo boards.
To preserve your family's stories for future generations, consider asking guests to share an oral history, offering a quiet space where you can conduct and record interviews with them.
Start conversations with prompts to get them talking: What was the world like when you were growing up? How would you describe your parents and grandparents? What are your strongest memories of them? What advice would you give to someone in the family who's just starting out in life? StoryCorps offers an app that can help you record and archive oral histories so they can last for years to come.
Note: This item first appeared in Kiplinger Personal Finance Magazine, a monthly, trustworthy source of advice and guidance. Subscribe to help you make more money and keep more of the money you make here.
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