How to Make a Wedding Budget With Your Family

A father dancing with his daughter at her wedding

(Image credit: Getty Images)

These days, couples commonly finance their wedding with a combination of their own funds and contributions from both sides of the family. On average, parents contribute 51% of wedding costs, while couples cover the remaining 49%, according to a survey by The Knot, a wedding-planning website.

The expectations may be different depending on your own financial situation and your family’s cultural or socioeconomic background. But with the average cost of a wedding coming in at about $35,000, it’s not unreasonable to ask parents to pitch in — if they can afford it.

Make a wedding budget

Before you ask anyone for money, establish a budget. It should include all potential expenses, such as a venue fee, floral arrangements and non-floral decor, photography, stationery (invitations, programs and signage), transportation for guests between lodging and the venue, a day-of coordinator, a wedding officiant, music, cake, gifts for your wedding party, the bar, and dinner at the reception.

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To estimate these expenses, you’ll need to start with a guest count. “The guest list is the area where costs can really balloon,” says Jessica Bishop, founder of TheBudgetSavvyBride.com. Here, you can familiarize yourself with the typical cost of wedding services in your zip code. To create the most-accurate estimates, contact vendors you’d like to work with for quotes.

Discuss wedding budgets with your family

Once you’ve established your estimated expenses, consider asking your family to review them. This could be a good launching point for a discussion about whether they’d like to help and, if so, how much they’re willing to contribute. Come prepared with numbers and specific wishes.

If your family offers financial help before you have the chance to ask, you and your partner should discuss the offer before accepting it, Bishop says. Even if a family member insists there are no strings attached, the power of the purse could affect your plans.

For example, your parents might want to finance a big wedding although you would prefer something more intimate. You could ask your parents to help pay for a specific expense, such as the floral arrangements, the bar bill or the photographer.

Advice for parents on wedding budgets

If you want to contribute to your child’s wedding, familiarize yourself with potential costs before agreeing to any financial support. If you have credit card debt, car payments or other outstanding high-interest loans, you may not be in a position to make a financial contribution. You should also have three to six months’ worth of expenses set aside in an emergency fund before offering to cover any wedding costs.

Think about future financial obligations, too. If the bride or groom is not your only child and is the first to marry, your contribution to the wedding may set your other children’s expectations of how you’ll help with their own nuptials someday.

Finally, remember that it’s ultimately your child’s wedding, not yours. The goal is for your child to celebrate in the way that feels most authentic to them and for you to feel good about where your contribution is going.

Note: This item first appeared in Kiplinger Personal Finance Magazine, a monthly, trustworthy source of advice and guidance. Subscribe to help you make more money and keep more of the money you make here.

Emma Patch joined Kiplinger in 2020. She previously interned for Kiplinger's Retirement Report and before that, for a boutique investment firm in New York City. She served as editor-at-large and features editor for Middlebury College's student newspaper, The Campus. She specializes in travel, student debt and a number of other personal finance topics. Born in London, Emma grew up in Connecticut and now lives in Washington, D.C.