Don’t Poke the Bear! How to Respond to Angry Customers
Arguing, doubling down and refusing to negotiate could make matters worse, so it’s best to aim for a win-win solution. And if that doesn’t work…
Our recent article about the restaurant patron who “lost it” when his steak was served rare instead of medium and threatened an online defamation campaign unless he was paid $500 (What to Do When an Unhappy Customer Threatens to Ruin Your Rep) got a very large reader response about how to respond to angry customers.
Richart Ruddie, founder of Fort Lauderdale, Fla.-based Profile Defenders, emailed, “Great story! Here is a list of things management must avoid that will help prevent a bad situation from becoming worse when faced with an actual or threatened bad/defamatory online review.”
These Are the Things He Said NOT to Do
1. Poke the bear by responding publicly online, attacking the customer and saying they are wrong.
From just $107.88 $24.99 for Kiplinger Personal Finance
Become a smarter, better informed investor. Subscribe from just $107.88 $24.99, plus get up to 4 Special Issues
Sign up for Kiplinger’s Free Newsletters
Profit and prosper with the best of expert advice on investing, taxes, retirement, personal finance and more - straight to your e-mail.
Profit and prosper with the best of expert advice - straight to your e-mail.
Consequences: All issues and problems have now become public. It is far better to quarantine the customer and their complaint to a one-on-one session so that you can work to resolve the problem and lessen exposing your company to further embarrassment.
2. Pour fuel on the fire by doubling down on why there is no basis for the customer’s complaint.
Consequences: Mass negative publicity, including damage to employee morale, lost sales and potentially damaged relationships with your vendors.
A perfect, recent example of this kind of behavior are Kanye West’s anti-Semitic statements on a podcast after a similar incident on Twitter. He claimed that he could say anything he wanted to say and that Adidas could not cancel his contract.
The result was that what he boasted could not happen actually did!
3. Refuse to take responsibility for something that you might have indeed done incorrectly. Never admit fault, just like many of our politicians, when caught with their hands in the cookie jar.
Consequences: Even if the original basis of this dispute was primarily caused by your customer, by refusing to admit obvious fault, you characterize yourself as a business not worth patronizing. Saying “I’m sorry” goes a long way.
4. Give in to the temptation of filing suit immediately against the customer for defamation and seeking a gag order preventing them from further broadcasting or publishing their complaints.
Consequences: This makes the customer much more irate and may add weight to their contentions. The more you try to shut them up, the harder they will work to cause embarrassment to your company.
Instead, hear the customer out about their complaint and work with them toward finding a workable solution. Ask: “What can I do to make you happy?”
A good example was a dental office that needed to reschedule a patient’s teeth cleaning five times. She posted a very uncomplimentary review of the dentist’s office. Our recommendation was for the dental office to apologize and offer that service at no charge in exchange for removing the negative review.
5. Refuse to aim for a win-win outcome and try to discredit any statements from your customer.
Consequences: This will not help you in any way, and if you allow your anger to overrule sound judgment, you run the risk of going too far and possibly getting sued yourself for defamation!
Instead — and hopefully in an office setting or over the phone — encourage the customer to vent and voice their complaint. Ask them, “How can we resolve this in a fair manner?”
Don’t close the door to anything reasonable!
And If None of That Works?
Richart recommends that if you have not been successful, and the customer is threatening to post even more defamatory information online, “It’s time to retain either experienced Internet defamation counsel, or a company that specializes in reputation protection that you have vetted! And it is critical to use a United States-based company,” he underscores.
“There are many fake firms that will promise you the world but take your money and do nothing. They may even have what appears to be a U.S. telephone number,” so you’ve got to be extra careful.
“Whoever you retain, make sure they provide you with an actual contract showing clear deliverables and terms of service. Billing is customarily monthly or up front.
“Legitimate firms will have the know-how that provides a better chance of removing/fixing damaging posts. The better firms have excellent contacts with the major websites and can get to the right people. But it is impossible to guarantee an outcome, as that is in the hands of the website. If you are told, ‘We can guarantee removal of that post,’ RUN!”
Richart concluded our interview with this practical advice: “Google Alerts is an excellent service that constantly scans the Internet, looking for your name or your company’s name. Your best defense to online defamation is being aware.”
Dennis Beaver practices law in Bakersfield, Calif., and welcomes comments and questions from readers, which may be faxed to (661) 323-7993, or e-mailed to Lagombeaver1@gmail.com. And be sure to visit dennisbeaver.com.
Profit and prosper with the best of Kiplinger's advice on investing, taxes, retirement, personal finance and much more. Delivered daily. Enter your email in the box and click Sign Me Up.

After attending Loyola University School of Law, H. Dennis Beaver joined California's Kern County District Attorney's Office, where he established a Consumer Fraud section. He is in the general practice of law and writes a syndicated newspaper column, "You and the Law." Through his column, he offers readers in need of down-to-earth advice his help free of charge. "I know it sounds corny, but I just love to be able to use my education and experience to help, simply to help. When a reader contacts me, it is a gift."
-
How to Plan a Microvacation That Actually Feels RestfulHow a simple long weekend can boost your mood, reduce stress and make winter feel shorter.
-
We're retired and fight more than ever. Should we take a break?Can taking a break save a marriage? We asked professional relationship therapists for advice.
-
Turning 59½: 5 Planning Moves Most Pre-Retirees OverlookAge 59½ isn't just when you can access your retirement savings tax-free. It also signals the start of retirement planning opportunities you shouldn't miss.
-
Turning 59½: 5 Planning Moves Most Pre-Retirees OverlookAge 59½ isn't just when you can access your retirement savings tax-free. It also signals the start of retirement planning opportunities you shouldn't miss.
-
Are Your Retirement Numbers Not Looking Good? A Financial Adviser Runs Through Your OptionsIf you're worried about a shortfall between your income and expenses in retirement, you're not alone. But there are ways you can make up the difference.
-
How to Make the Most of These 2 Tax Breaks ASAP (They Have Expiration Dates)Taxpayers can strategically use these temporary tax opportunities in particular to lock in long-term tax savings. Here's how.
-
What Changed on January 1: Check Out These Opportunities Created by the New Tax LawA deep dive into the One Big Beautiful Bill Act (OBBBA) reveals key opportunities in 2026 and beyond.
-
Beat the Money Blues With This Easy Financial Check-In to Get 2026 Off to a Good StartAs 2026 takes off, half of Americans are worried about the cost of everyday goods. A simple budget can help you beat the money blues and reach long-term goals.
-
Do Self-Storage REITs Deserve Space in Your Portfolio? It's a Yes From This Investment AdviserSelf-storage is an overlooked area of the real estate market, even though demand is strong. Investors can get in on the action through a REIT.
-
4 Simple Money Targets to Aim for in 2026 (And How to Hit Them), From a Financial PlannerWhile January is the perfect time to strengthen your financial well-being, you're more likely to succeed if you set realistic goals and work with a partner.
-
Estate Planning Isn't Just for the Ultra-WealthyIf you've acquired assets over time, even just a home and some savings, you have an estate. That means you need a plan for that estate for your beneficiaries.