My Professional Advice: When It Comes to Money, You Do You

A quirky man sits at a table with bags of money, coins and cash and gives a thumbs-up.

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published 5 June 2025

There’s a moment in almost every financial planning relationship when something from the outside creeps in. A friend brags about a hot stock. A sibling talks up their investment property. A headline warns about a market collapse.

Suddenly, a client starts to wonder if they’re doing enough. If they’re missing out. If someone else’s plan might be better.

That’s when I remind them of something simple, drawn from an idea Mel Robbins popularized: Let them. Let your brother chase yield. Let your coworker time the market. Let the news cycle do what it does.

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But don’t let other people’s choices distract you from your own.

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This mindset can be incredibly helpful for clients dealing with financial anxiety. When we pair it with another powerful idea — the practice of letting go of what we can’t control — we help clients make better decisions and, more important, find a greater sense of peace around their money.

Let others do their thing

Comparison is everywhere. I’ve seen people who have carefully built their financial life suddenly lose confidence because of what someone else is doing. It could be a neighbor, a friend, even a headline.

But the truth is, what works for one person might be a complete mismatch for another.

Let’s look at a simple example: Two neighbors are the same age, have the same income and have a similar family makeup, but their values and priorities are entirely different. What feels like success for one may not work for the other.

We built this into our planning process with the Experience Index™ questionnaire because personal finance should always be personal.

Letting others do what they’re going to do helps clients return to what really matters: their own progress. Instead of asking, “Why don’t I have what they have?” we shift to “Look how far I’ve come.”

Measuring backward is a powerful way to see one's growth and success.

Focus inward

Once you stop looking sideways, you can start asking better questions.

What do I need?
What do I want?

This is the other side of the “let them” mindset — creating space for better self-awareness.

I’ve worked with clients who have more than enough by most standards, but what brings them peace isn’t the size of their portfolio — it’s knowing that their spending aligns with their goals, that they’re living intentionally and that their plan reflects what matters most to them.

It’s not always about having more. Often, it’s about being grateful for what you already have. Gratitude helps shift the mindset from fear and scarcity to confidence and clarity.

Let go of what you can't control

Another philosophy that resonates with me is found in Michael Singer's The Surrender Experiment. His story is about learning to let go.

While I naturally gravitate toward structure and strategy, blending that mindset with a willingness to surrender where needed can be powerful. It’s a reminder that confidence doesn’t always come from having every answer but from knowing you’ve done the work and built a strong foundation with the right support.

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In financial planning, we still prepare. One of the first things we do with a client is acknowledge that things won’t go perfectly. Markets will dip. Life will throw curveballs. The plan isn’t meant to be rigid — it’s there to guide us through uncertainty.

The key is to focus on what we can control — our decisions, habits and reactions. That’s what turns anxiety into action.

Choosing peace

When people embrace letting others be and letting go of control, they move differently. They make decisions more calmly, stop chasing and trust the work they’ve done.

These philosophies come with a sense of freedom, whether traveling the world or enjoying a quiet retirement at home.

That kind of peace doesn’t come from a spreadsheet. It comes from knowing you’ve done the work, stayed true to yourself and tuned out the noise.

There’s a quote from the 1994 movie The Shawshank Redemption I love: “Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies.”

That’s what I want for the people I work with: a life where they feel hopeful, not hurried. Clear, not confused. Steady, not scattered.

Let them. Let go. And live the life that’s right for you.

Signature Estate & Investment Advisors, LLC (SEIA) is an SEC-registered investment adviser; however, such registration does not imply a certain level of skill or training and no inference to the contrary should be made. This material is for informational purposes only and is not intended as individual investment advice or as a recommendation of any particular security, strategy or investment product. Investment decisions should be made based on the client’s specific financial needs, objectives, goals, time horizon and risk tolerance. Financial markets are inherently volatile and all investment strategies, including those perceived as low-risk, carry some level of investment risk. Past performance does not guarantee future results. Financial success is influenced by various factors, including the client's investment objectives, risk tolerance, time horizon, and market conditions. There is no guarantee that any investment strategy will achieve its intended results. All investments carry inherent risks, including the potential loss of principal. Prospective and current advisors and clients should carefully consider their investment objectives, risks, charges, and expenses before making any investment. SEIA is not responsible for the consequences of any decisions or actions taken as a result of the information provided herein. In particular, none of the examples should be considered advice tailored to the needs of any specific investor. Securities offered through Signature Estate Securities, LLC member FINRA/SIPC. Investment advisory services offered through SEIA, 2121 Avenue of the Stars, Suite 1600, Los Angeles, CA 90067, (310) 712-2323.

Disclaimer

This article was written by and presents the views of our contributing adviser, not the Kiplinger editorial staff. You can check adviser records with the SEC or with FINRA.

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Frank Legan is a Cleveland-based author and a Financial Adviser with SEIA. Frank spends his days designing and implementing personalized financial planning strategies for corporate executives, business owners, artists, families and retirees. He focuses on lifetime income planning strategies, investment advice and estate planning services. He also works with businesses to develop strategic and succession planning strategies.