From Wills to Wishes: Build Your Estate Planning Playbook

An older man with a pen in his hand works on paperwork at a table with a laptop.

(Image credit: Getty Images)

published 29 June 2025

Editor’s Note: This is part one of a four-part series about how to create and use your own Estate Planning Playbook. Part one introduces the concept, and subsequent articles will cover leaving personal instructions, planning for overlooked details and putting your plan into action.

Most people believe that once they’ve set up a will or living trust, their estate plan is complete. But here’s the truth: Legal documents alone don’t tell the full story.

They don’t explain where your assets are held, how to access them or even what accounts exist. And they certainly don’t help your loved ones navigate the emotional and logistical challenges that come after a loss.

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That’s where a comprehensive Estate Planning Playbook comes in. Think of it as the road map your family will need when the time comes to settle your affairs — saving them from confusion, costly mistakes and unnecessary stress.

This article kicks off a four-part series exploring how to create and use an Estate Planning Playbook to strengthen your estate plan and ease the burden on your loved ones.

The Kiplinger Building Wealth program handpicks financial advisers and business owners from around the world to share retirement, estate planning and tax strategies to preserve and grow your wealth. These experts, who never pay for inclusion on the site, include professional wealth managers, fiduciary financial planners, CPAs and lawyers. Most of them have certifications including CFP®, ChFC®, IAR, AIF®, CDFA® and more, and their stellar records can be checked through the SEC or FINRA.

In this first installment, we’ll introduce the concept of the playbook and how it fills critical gaps left by traditional estate documents. In the coming articles, we’ll explore:

How to leave clear personal instructions with a “Family Love Letter”
How to plan for often-overlooked details like family heirlooms, pet care and household bills
And finally, how to put your playbook into action as a tool for preserving both your wealth and your family legacy

Let’s start by understanding why an Estate Planning Playbook is the missing piece in so many estate plans — and how it can help ensure your final wishes are carried out smoothly and confidently.

What a playbook covers that your trust doesn't

Your living trust is a vital tool — it helps avoid probate, outlines how and when your assets are distributed and can include important directives like powers of attorney and health care instructions. But here’s what it doesn’t do:

Tell your family where your accounts are held or how much they’re worth
Outline your current beneficiary designations
Capture important non-financial details, like who should handle digital accounts and memberships

A playbook fills these gaps by organizing the practical information your loved ones will need to settle your affairs efficiently:

Account details and passwords
Copies of investment and insurance statements
Contact information for key advisers and financial institutions

We’ll explore how to document more personal wishes — like memorial arrangements and decisions about family keepsakes — in the next installment of this series.

Avoiding common estate pitfalls

One of the most common misconceptions in estate planning is assuming that all your assets will flow through your trust. In reality, many accounts — such as retirement plans (401(k)s, IRAs), annuities and life insurance policies — transfer directly to the beneficiaries you’ve named, bypassing your trust entirely.

That’s why it’s essential to regularly review and update those beneficiary designations and to name contingent beneficiaries in case your primary choice is no longer living.

It’s also important to understand how financial institutions handle inherited accounts. Some distribute assets per stirpes, ensuring that a deceased beneficiary’s share passes to their children, while others use a per capita approach, dividing the inheritance equally among surviving heirs.

These technicalities can have significant consequences for how your wealth is passed down.

Including these details in your playbook provides clarity for your loved ones and helps ensure your intentions are carried out smoothly. It also makes it easier for them to navigate complex account rules and avoid costly missteps during an already difficult time.

Why this matters: A personal story

When my mother passed away in 2002, my sister and I found ourselves in a heated argument — right there at the mortuary — over the smallest details: what flowers to choose, what music to play, even how to word the headstone.

In the midst of our grief, we were forced to make decisions we hadn’t prepared for, and it added unnecessary tension to an already difficult time.

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Looking back, I realize how much easier those moments could have been if we had known my mother’s specific wishes.

That’s exactly the kind of situation a well-organized playbook can help prevent. By outlining practical details and preparing your loved ones ahead of time, you relieve them from having to make emotional decisions under pressure.

Looking ahead: Turning plans into peace of mind

Estate planning isn’t a one-and-done task. It’s an ongoing process that should evolve as your life changes.

A well-crafted playbook ensures that when the time comes, your family will have more clarity, less stress and the confidence to carry out your wishes exactly as you intended.

In the next installment of this series, we’ll explore how to take that support even further with a “Family Love Letter” — a heartfelt document that goes beyond finances to provide personal guidance, express final wishes and help reduce conflict when your family needs comfort the most.

Disclaimer

This article was written by and presents the views of our contributing adviser, not the Kiplinger editorial staff. You can check adviser records with the SEC or with FINRA.

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Eric is a prominent figure in the Long Beach community, where he has made significant contributions both professionally and philanthropically. As the President and Founder of Octave Wealth Management, Eric has steered his financial planning practice to new heights since its rebranding and expansion in 2024. His career, which began in 1997, has been marked by a steadfast dedication to excellence, reflected in the success and growth of his practice.