Have This Conversation to Save Your Family's Money This Holiday Season

Sitting around my parents' kitchen table this weekend, my grandma told us a story she seemed particularly proud of. Twice this year, she said, she'd gotten a phone call from an unknown number to her cellphone. The caller said something to the effect of, "Hello grandmother, it's your granddaughter."

"Oh yeah?" she said she'd responded. "Which one?"

The caller quickly hung up.

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It was, she said, someone trying to scam her out of money. She recognized the calls as fake because of the unknown numbers and that they used a moniker for "grandmother" different from what any of her real grandkids call her. Plus, of course, she's known her grandkids for decades and the caller's voice didn't match one of ours.

But she also was prepared when the calls came because she'd heard stories from her friends. Many of them, she explained, trade stories of scam calls they've received — almost consistently from alleged "grandchildren" who, if you let them keep talking, eventually ask for money in some way, shape or form.

Her story reflected many best practices to keep your finances safe: Be caller-aware, and if something seems a little off, it might just be completely off. Sitting around the kitchen table, my mother chimed in, "And if you ever question if a call is real, hang up and call that person or bank or whatever directly."

Talk about financial safety during the holidays

I'm sharing this now because many readers are spending time with family and loved ones for the holidays. Periods like this, when everyone is already gathered, are ideal for sharing wisdom, whether it's family recipes, career and love advice, or — yes — financial safety tips.

As attorney Allison L. Lee has written for Kiplinger about discussing finances during the holidays: "While walking through estate planning may not sound quite as exciting as the opening of presents, realistically, this is one of the few times when family members are all together each year, and it often carries plenty of downtime."

And as Kiplinger retirement writer Donna LeValley has written, in divided times like these, sometimes it can actually feel safer to discuss finance than other topics around the holidays.

But I'm also sharing this because you have wisdom to share that can help the younger people in your lives. While stories abound of grandparents getting scam calls like the ones my grandmother has gotten, it's actually younger generations who are more prone to being scammed.

Gen X, millennials and Gen Z people were 34% more likely than those 60 and over to lose money to fraud in 2021, according to the Federal Trade Commission. Mostly, per the FTC, they lost money to online shopping fraud, including on social media, investment scams, including "bogus" crypto opportunities, and job scams.

Americans lost over $10 billion to fraud in 2023, per the FTC. Do you want your kid or grandkid to contribute to those numbers?

How to stay safe from fraud

Fraud is becoming increasingly sophisticated as the years go on. While the calls my grandmother got were easy enough for her to uncover, some can be harder.

Scammers can, for instance, learn family members' names and nicknames through social media and use that to commit fraud. They can now even make voices sound like your loved ones using AI, Robert Persichitte, CPA, CFP and CFE (Certified Fraud Examiner), told Kiplinger.

Scammers can also mimic phone numbers and email addresses — for example, they can make it look like you're getting contacted by a bank or the college you're attending, and we've all heard of the gift card scams, where scammers make it look like your boss is asking you to buy a gift card. I've written before, too, about how college students can get caught in job scams.

The most important thing is to stop and breathe if you got an odd, unexpected call or email.

"Pausing to get a second opinion is the best way to avoid scams," Persichitte told Kiplinger. "Scammers use time pressure to get you to act fast and transfer them money, but that's not how the world works."

As my mother suggested, a best practice is to hang up a call and call the person or place back directly (don't click the number that called you; call the number you know is theirs). Persichitte suggests you can also "call someone else to get a sanity check" if you get a message requesting money.

That goes, too, for emails. If you get a strange email from a person or institution, call that person or institution, or if your Gen Z family member hates picking up the phone, at least email directly (don't reply to the email; email an address you know is theirs) to ask if they'd contacted you.

Don't send money to any unusual recipient unless you are 100% certain it's legitimate. Even if, for example, you were planning to send money to someone or an institution (like for a down payment or rent), call a trusted contact directly on the phone to ensure you have the right information.

And don't trust requests for immediate, emergency transfers of money, Persichitte said. "Even in emergencies, 30 minutes is a reasonable amount of time to get some money together. There is never a situation that requires an immediate transfer."

The biggest factor really is to be vigilant, which is why you should have these conversations with your family. Telling each other stories, like the ones my grandma's friends tell each other, can help save thousands of dollars from fraud. Once you're aware of the risks, you're immediately more likely to catch scams before they catch you.

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