Five Pitfalls That Can Trip Up Your Family's Charitable Giving
It's easy to make mistakes with something as complex as charitable giving. Knowing what to watch for can help a family keep their philanthropy on track.
While the spirit of giving may bring many families closer together, philanthropy is not without its challenges. Recognizing these pitfalls at the outset can help mitigate them substantially.
As I guide wealthy families in their planning, these are the five most common patterns we avoid to set them up for success in philanthropy:
1. Trying to place family members on the same philanthropy timetable.
Philanthropy remains a lifelong journey that can deepen and evolve over time. It may rise and fall as a priority during various life stages, such as while establishing a career or business, raising a family or completing an academic degree. Indeed, philanthropy may peak as an interest for senior generation members much later in life. In developing a family philanthropy culture, it helps to provide open invitations of involvement, whether through volunteering together, inviting grant ideas or generally learning more about each family member’s interest areas.
From just $107.88 $24.99 for Kiplinger Personal Finance
Become a smarter, better informed investor. Subscribe from just $107.88 $24.99, plus get up to 4 Special Issues
Sign up for Kiplinger’s Free Newsletters
Profit and prosper with the best of expert advice on investing, taxes, retirement, personal finance and more - straight to your e-mail.
Profit and prosper with the best of expert advice - straight to your e-mail.
Formal involvement in a family foundation or charitable fund may emerge at different times for different family members. Until then, expressing the gratification that charitable giving can provide may set a framework for future participation.
2. Assuming that you all care (or should care) about the same cause.
Families represent a rich pool of talent, experiences and perspectives. Having diverse points of view can broaden a family’s knowledge base and impact. Mindsets can also evolve from a local to national and/or global orientation. What’s more important than what a family chooses to support is understanding why they are pursuing philanthropy collectively.
Reasons can range from spending time together, to learning from one another, to reinforcing values, to helping those in need and improving communities. Whatever the reason, families benefit from keeping the long-term purpose of family philanthropy in mind and focusing on the values they have in common.
For instance, family members may prioritize innovation, empowerment and integrity in their lives. Charitable activity that exemplifies these values can transcend political and regional differences, while allowing for each member to express differing political viewpoints in their respective individual giving.
3. Avoiding the process of creating ground rules.
Families may assume that they don’t need to establish any “rules of the road” in giving together, especially if all members get along. However, when it comes to family philanthropy, process is your friend. Agreeing upon certain ground rules in advance helps streamline decision-making and grounds those decisions in clear protocols rather than personal feelings or family dynamics.
Addressing the following questions first can help the family focus their efforts and set expectations among members in suggesting grants:
- Why. What’s the reason for expending our charitable efforts? What does success look like for our family and philanthropy?
- Who. Which family members would be involved in our family’s philanthropic giving? Would we include in-laws? Under what conditions would we include children and grandchildren?
- When. When do we want to donate our charitable funds? Do we give while we live and/or keep a certain amount in perpetuity for future generations to donate? If we do leave a philanthropy legacy, would we want any part spent down within a certain amount of time?
- Where. Where do we want to direct our philanthropic efforts? Do we focus on our local community, national organizations and/or those operating abroad? What would be the deciding factors in defining our geographic footprint?
- What. Which problems do we want to help solve? If we could fast-forward 10 years into the future, what positive change would we like to support through our philanthropy?
- How. How do we identify and vet our charities? What standard criteria and process can we agree on for approving a grant we make together? What will we be doing together and apart in our charitable giving?
4. Waiting for the 'perfect' grant opportunity.
In asking for grant suggestions from their children, parents may have unspoken high expectations on the level of due diligence and visible impact of the proposed donation. Children in turn may not want to disappoint their parents in making a less-than-optimal grant suggestion. The beauty of philanthropy is that, unlike other endeavors with little or no margin for error, it can foster new solutions or approaches with learning along the way. In fact, philanthropy serves as society’s risk capital to addressing problems that business and government may not have the bandwidth to experiment on.
While some basic due diligence can provide some initial information, it may not guarantee against unforeseen challenges. Therefore, sharing both positive and disappointing donation experiences can educate the whole family in making a meaningful impact.
5. Donating without a centralized vehicle.
In any given year, families may support a variety of causes in different amounts. It’s often a challenge to keep track of how much each member has given and to which charities. In addition, the task of supporting multiple charities through separate transactions, and gathering multiple tax receipts, may also drain valuable time out of a busy day. A donor-advised fund (DAF) serves as a single tax-free charitable account to support multiple charities and also track your giving, thus providing you an easy and convenient method of charitable giving.
We find DAFs are especially popular as families gather during the holiday season and are thinking about both giving and tax planning.
While good intentions provide a wonderful start, it’s far too easy to get tripped up with something as complex and sensitive as philanthropy. Awareness of these common pitfalls can help a family get out ahead of them and have a smoother path along their philanthropic journey.
Related Content
- Six Charitable Giving Strategies: Feel Good and Cut Your Taxes
- DAFs vs. Private Foundations: Which Giving Strategy Is Right for You?
- How to Maximize Your Impact With Strategic Philanthropy Tools
- Give Your Charitable Giving a Boost With These Strategies
- In Philanthropy, Gen Z and Millennials Do It Their Way
-
How to Avoid the Financial Quicksand of Early Retirement LossesSequence of returns — experiencing losses early on — can quickly deplete your savings, highlighting the need for strategies that prioritize income stability.
-
How an Elder Law Attorney Can Help Protect Your Aging ParentsIf you are worried about older family members or friends whose financial judgment is raising red flags, help is out there — from an elder law attorney.
-
Q4 Post-Mortem From an Investment Adviser: Year of ResilienceFinancial pro Prem Patel shares his take on how markets performed in the fourth quarter of 2025, with an eye toward what investors should keep in mind for 2026.
-
This Is How Early Retirement Losses Can Dump You Into Financial Quicksand (Plus, Tips to Stay on Solid Ground)
Sequence of returns — experiencing losses early on — can quickly deplete your savings, highlighting the need for strategies that prioritize income stability.
-
How an Elder Law Attorney Can Help Protect Your Aging Parents From Financial Mistakes
If you are worried about older family members or friends whose financial judgment is raising red flags, help is out there — from an elder law attorney.
-
Q4 2025 Post-Mortem From an Investment Adviser: A Year of Resilience as Gold Shines and the U.S. Dollar Dives
Financial pro Prem Patel shares his take on how markets performed in the fourth quarter of 2025, with an eye toward what investors should keep in mind for 2026.
-
Is Your Emergency Fund Running Low? Here's How to Bulk It Back UpIf you're struggling right now, you're not alone. Here's how you can identify financial issues, implement a budget and prioritize rebuilding your emergency fund.
-
An Expert Guide to How All-Assets Planning Offers a Better RetirementAn "all-asset" strategy would integrate housing wealth and annuities with traditional investments to generate more income and liquid savings for retirees.
-
7 Tax Blunders to Avoid in Your First Year of Retirement, From a Seasoned Financial PlannerA business-as-usual approach to taxes in the first year of retirement can lead to silly trip-ups that erode your nest egg. Here are seven common goofs to avoid.
-
How to Plan for Social Security in 2026's Changing Landscape, From a Financial ProfessionalNot understanding how the upcoming changes in 2026 might affect you could put your financial security in retirement at risk. This is what you need to know.
-
6 Overlooked Areas That Can Make or Break Your Retirement, From a Retirement AdviserIf you're heading into retirement with scattered and uncertain plans, distilling them into these six areas can ensure you thrive in later life.
