Profit and prosper with the best of Kiplinger's advice on investing, taxes, retirement, personal finance and much more. Delivered daily. Enter your email in the box and click Sign Me Up.
You are now subscribed
Your newsletter sign-up was successful
Want to add more newsletters?
Delivered daily
Kiplinger Today
Profit and prosper with the best of Kiplinger's advice on investing, taxes, retirement, personal finance and much more delivered daily. Smart money moves start here.
Sent five days a week
Kiplinger A Step Ahead
Get practical help to make better financial decisions in your everyday life, from spending to savings on top deals.
Delivered daily
Kiplinger Closing Bell
Get today's biggest financial and investing headlines delivered to your inbox every day the U.S. stock market is open.
Sent twice a week
Kiplinger Adviser Intel
Financial pros across the country share best practices and fresh tactics to preserve and grow your wealth.
Delivered weekly
Kiplinger Tax Tips
Trim your federal and state tax bills with practical tax-planning and tax-cutting strategies.
Sent twice a week
Kiplinger Retirement Tips
Your twice-a-week guide to planning and enjoying a financially secure and richly rewarding retirement
Sent bimonthly.
Kiplinger Adviser Angle
Insights for advisers, wealth managers and other financial professionals.
Sent twice a week
Kiplinger Investing Weekly
Your twice-a-week roundup of promising stocks, funds, companies and industries you should consider, ones you should avoid, and why.
Sent weekly for six weeks
Kiplinger Invest for Retirement
Your step-by-step six-part series on how to invest for retirement, from devising a successful strategy to exactly which investments to choose.
While the spirit of giving may bring many families closer together, philanthropy is not without its challenges. Recognizing these pitfalls at the outset can help mitigate them substantially.
As I guide wealthy families in their planning, these are the five most common patterns we avoid to set them up for success in philanthropy:
1. Trying to place family members on the same philanthropy timetable.
Philanthropy remains a lifelong journey that can deepen and evolve over time. It may rise and fall as a priority during various life stages, such as while establishing a career or business, raising a family or completing an academic degree. Indeed, philanthropy may peak as an interest for senior generation members much later in life. In developing a family philanthropy culture, it helps to provide open invitations of involvement, whether through volunteering together, inviting grant ideas or generally learning more about each family member’s interest areas.
From just $107.88 $24.99 for Kiplinger Personal Finance
Become a smarter, better informed investor. Subscribe from just $107.88 $24.99, plus get up to 4 Special Issues
Sign up for Kiplinger’s Free Newsletters
Profit and prosper with the best of expert advice on investing, taxes, retirement, personal finance and more - straight to your e-mail.
Profit and prosper with the best of expert advice - straight to your e-mail.
Formal involvement in a family foundation or charitable fund may emerge at different times for different family members. Until then, expressing the gratification that charitable giving can provide may set a framework for future participation.
2. Assuming that you all care (or should care) about the same cause.
Families represent a rich pool of talent, experiences and perspectives. Having diverse points of view can broaden a family’s knowledge base and impact. Mindsets can also evolve from a local to national and/or global orientation. What’s more important than what a family chooses to support is understanding why they are pursuing philanthropy collectively.
Reasons can range from spending time together, to learning from one another, to reinforcing values, to helping those in need and improving communities. Whatever the reason, families benefit from keeping the long-term purpose of family philanthropy in mind and focusing on the values they have in common.
For instance, family members may prioritize innovation, empowerment and integrity in their lives. Charitable activity that exemplifies these values can transcend political and regional differences, while allowing for each member to express differing political viewpoints in their respective individual giving.
3. Avoiding the process of creating ground rules.
Families may assume that they don’t need to establish any “rules of the road” in giving together, especially if all members get along. However, when it comes to family philanthropy, process is your friend. Agreeing upon certain ground rules in advance helps streamline decision-making and grounds those decisions in clear protocols rather than personal feelings or family dynamics.
Addressing the following questions first can help the family focus their efforts and set expectations among members in suggesting grants:
- Why. What’s the reason for expending our charitable efforts? What does success look like for our family and philanthropy?
- Who. Which family members would be involved in our family’s philanthropic giving? Would we include in-laws? Under what conditions would we include children and grandchildren?
- When. When do we want to donate our charitable funds? Do we give while we live and/or keep a certain amount in perpetuity for future generations to donate? If we do leave a philanthropy legacy, would we want any part spent down within a certain amount of time?
- Where. Where do we want to direct our philanthropic efforts? Do we focus on our local community, national organizations and/or those operating abroad? What would be the deciding factors in defining our geographic footprint?
- What. Which problems do we want to help solve? If we could fast-forward 10 years into the future, what positive change would we like to support through our philanthropy?
- How. How do we identify and vet our charities? What standard criteria and process can we agree on for approving a grant we make together? What will we be doing together and apart in our charitable giving?
4. Waiting for the 'perfect' grant opportunity.
In asking for grant suggestions from their children, parents may have unspoken high expectations on the level of due diligence and visible impact of the proposed donation. Children in turn may not want to disappoint their parents in making a less-than-optimal grant suggestion. The beauty of philanthropy is that, unlike other endeavors with little or no margin for error, it can foster new solutions or approaches with learning along the way. In fact, philanthropy serves as society’s risk capital to addressing problems that business and government may not have the bandwidth to experiment on.
While some basic due diligence can provide some initial information, it may not guarantee against unforeseen challenges. Therefore, sharing both positive and disappointing donation experiences can educate the whole family in making a meaningful impact.
5. Donating without a centralized vehicle.
In any given year, families may support a variety of causes in different amounts. It’s often a challenge to keep track of how much each member has given and to which charities. In addition, the task of supporting multiple charities through separate transactions, and gathering multiple tax receipts, may also drain valuable time out of a busy day. A donor-advised fund (DAF) serves as a single tax-free charitable account to support multiple charities and also track your giving, thus providing you an easy and convenient method of charitable giving.
We find DAFs are especially popular as families gather during the holiday season and are thinking about both giving and tax planning.
While good intentions provide a wonderful start, it’s far too easy to get tripped up with something as complex and sensitive as philanthropy. Awareness of these common pitfalls can help a family get out ahead of them and have a smoother path along their philanthropic journey.
Related Content
- Six Charitable Giving Strategies: Feel Good and Cut Your Taxes
- DAFs vs. Private Foundations: Which Giving Strategy Is Right for You?
- How to Maximize Your Impact With Strategic Philanthropy Tools
- Give Your Charitable Giving a Boost With These Strategies
- In Philanthropy, Gen Z and Millennials Do It Their Way
Profit and prosper with the best of Kiplinger's advice on investing, taxes, retirement, personal finance and much more. Delivered daily. Enter your email in the box and click Sign Me Up.

As Head of Philanthropy & Family Governance Advisory, NB Private Wealth, a division of Neuberger Berman, Julia guides family members in proactively navigating their future and philanthropic journey together. Common topics covered with significant families include wealth communication and disclosure, succession planning and post-liquidity governance in determining a new common framework for the family and its wealth. Julia has lectured widely in the areas of philanthropy and family governance, with her perspective featured in The New York Times, Forbes, the Financial Times and Barron’s. Julia has authored articles for Trusts and Estates magazine and the Leimberg Estate Planning Newsletter and regularly speaks on charitable giving.
-
Nasdaq Leads a Rocky Risk-On Rally: Stock Market TodayAnother worrying bout of late-session weakness couldn't take down the main equity indexes on Wednesday.
-
Quiz: Do You Know How to Avoid the "Medigap Trap?"Quiz Test your basic knowledge of the "Medigap Trap" in our quick quiz.
-
5 Top Tax-Efficient Mutual Funds for Smarter InvestingMutual funds are many things, but "tax-friendly" usually isn't one of them. These are the exceptions.
-
Social Security Break-Even Math Is Helpful, But Don't Let It Dictate When You'll FileYour Social Security break-even age tells you how long you'd need to live for delaying to pay off, but shouldn't be the sole basis for deciding when to claim.
-
I'm an Opportunity Zone Pro: This Is How to Deliver Roth-Like Tax-Free Growth (Without Contribution Limits)Investors who combine Roth IRAs, the gold standard of tax-free savings, with qualified opportunity funds could enjoy decades of tax-free growth.
-
One of the Most Powerful Wealth-Building Moves a Woman Can Make: A Midcareer PivotIf it feels like you can't sustain what you're doing for the next 20 years, it's time for an honest look at what's draining you and what energizes you.
-
I'm a Wealth Adviser Obsessed With Mahjong: Here Are 8 Ways It Can Teach Us How to Manage Our MoneyThis increasingly popular Chinese game can teach us not only how to help manage our money but also how important it is to connect with other people.
-
Looking for a Financial Book That Won't Put Your Young Adult to Sleep? This One Makes 'Cents'"Wealth Your Way" by Cosmo DeStefano offers a highly accessible guide for young adults and their parents on building wealth through simple, consistent habits.
-
Global Uncertainty Has Investors Running Scared: This Is How Advisers Can Reassure ThemHow can advisers reassure clients nervous about their plans in an increasingly complex and rapidly changing world? This conversational framework provides the key.
-
I'm a Real Estate Investing Pro: This Is How to Use 1031 Exchanges to Scale Up Your Real Estate EmpireSmall rental properties can be excellent investments, but you can use 1031 exchanges to transition to commercial real estate for bigger wealth-building.
-
Should You Jump on the Roth Conversion Bandwagon? A Financial Adviser Weighs InRoth conversions are all the rage, but what works well for one household can cause financial strain for another. This is what you should consider before moving ahead.