Divorce Tips to Avoid a Messy Dog Custody Battle
Before you get barking mad and take your fight to court, think about the consequences. Talking it out is almost always the better route, advises an animal law expert.
- (opens in new tab)
- (opens in new tab)
- (opens in new tab)
- Newsletter sign up Newsletter

“One of the saddest parts of a divorce is this question,” Seal Beach, Calif., family law specialist attorney Glen Rabenn says: “Who keeps the family’s pet? It is often a deeply emotional aspect of a divorce, and difficult to reach compromise over as both sides love the animal.”
That issue faced “Mary Anne” and her husband, “Justin,” who worked together as architects. Worked — in the past tense, because “COVID destroyed our business and put so much pressure on our marriage that it fell apart,” both of them explained on a phone call.
“You have been referred to as the Ann Landers/Dear Abby of the legal world, and we thought that possibly you could help us resolve a difficult issue, custody of our darling little Chihuahua,” Mary Anne said.

Sign up for Kiplinger’s Free E-Newsletters
Profit and prosper with the best of expert advice on investing, taxes, retirement, personal finance and more - straight to your e-mail.
Profit and prosper with the best of expert advice - straight to your e-mail.
The couple’s call could not have come in at a better time as the day before I discussed these very issues with both Rabenn and attorney Barbara J. Gislason from Fridley, Minn., who is recognized internationally as an animal law pioneer.
She wrote a book on this subject for the American Bar Association’s Section of Family Law titled Pet Law and Custody (opens in new tab): Establishing a Worthy and Equitable Jurisprudence for the Evolving Family. She explores the cultural role of animals in our lives, asks important questions regarding our treatment of animals, and discusses how the law should be applied in a manner that is in the best interests of both humans and animals.
Under the Law, Pets Typically Seen as Property
“Historically,” Gislason explains, “Animals – pets – were considered as property, just like the furniture in your home. In a divorce, the courts would look at who paid for the pet and its vet bills or registration fees and award it to that person, regardless of the degree of attachment the spouse had to it.
“As anyone who has owned a dog or cat knows, we love these animals, and this has nothing to do with who bought or paid for food and its health care. So when courts divided a couple’s assets, often very sad and unfair results occurred. But then, several years ago, family court judges and state legislatures began to view family pets as more than just items of property.”
Best Interests of the Pet Standard: Once in Court, What Happens?
As a lawyer, I lived in divorce court for 30 years and saw firsthand how dealing with custody of the family pet can be more difficult than a child custody dispute. Thank goodness, it’s changing at a rapid pace, as three states — Alaska, Illinois and California — permit family court judges to look at custody of pet in a similar way as with children.
“Judges in these states are now required to take into consideration the animal’s well-being, and to answer this question: What is in the best interests of the animal?” Gislason observes, adding, “It is always best for the parties to avoid a horrible, expensive fight in court, and approach custody — and shared custody — with what’s best for the pet in mind.”
I explained that to my readers, telling them to imagine themselves in court, knowing that the judge has discretion as to who is awarded the Chihuahua. Attorney Gislason suggests that you think about how the judge will feel after hearing one or both lawyers do the following:
- Present one of you as a nice person devoted to the dog, offering examples of loving care shown and arguing the other was much less interested in the dog.
- Emphasize that his client paid all the animal’s veterinary expenses.
- That the other person ignored or neglected the animal.
- That your dispute is motivated by revenge. Judges do not reward pet owners in that situation.
“You don’t really want that kind of a fight, do you?” Both agreed they did not.
“So, how can we resolve this?” they asked.
Pet Custody and Sharing Agreement
Glen Rabenn offers a five-step solution:
- Have a detailed agreement in writing. Err on the side of being overly specific.
- It should contain a weekly schedule of custody and state who makes important medical decisions, including ultimately about putting the animal down.
- Can you take the pet outside of your state? Think of the same things as for a child.
- Do not leave things to chance.
- If you have a disagreement, specify mediation or agreed-upon family members to decide the matter.
Gislason agrees, adding:
“Be civil to each other and try to talk it through. Sometimes giving up something else that you want in the marital dispute helps. ‘I will get the dog and you get the mountain bike.’”
She concludes with this recommendation:
“Encourage family members to lean on the person trying to take the other person’s dog away. Family members usually know who the parties are considered as the pet's owner, and I would encourage them to get involved in resolving the matter.”
After attending Loyola University School of Law, H. Dennis Beaver joined California's Kern County District Attorney's Office, where he established a Consumer Fraud section. He is in the general practice of law and writes a syndicated newspaper column, "You and the Law (opens in new tab)." Through his column he offers readers in need of down-to-earth advice his help free of charge. "I know it sounds corny, but I just love to be able to use my education and experience to help, simply to help. When a reader contacts me, it is a gift."
-
-
Stock Market Today: Stocks Gain Ahead of Fed Meeting
Exxon Mobil (XOM) and General Motors (GM) both popped after reporting solid earnings.
By Karee Venema • Published
-
The 10 Best Closed-End Funds (CEFs) to Buy Now
The best closed-end funds will significantly boost your portfolio income and allow you to buy their underlying stocks and bonds at a discount.
By Charles Lewis Sizemore, CFA • Published
-
Five Ways to Diversify Your Portfolio During a Recession
Investing successfully during a recession is tough. However, you can protect and grow your portfolio with various diversification strategies.
By Justin Grossbard • Published
-
Curious About a QLAC? SECURE 2.0 Act Gives This Annuity a Boost
New legislation raises the amount you can transfer from your rollover IRA to a qualifying longevity annuity contract (QLAC), reducing RMDs and increasing guaranteed lifetime income.
By Jerry Golden, Investment Adviser Representative • Published
-
Need an Estate Planning Checkup? Now Is the Perfect Time
An appointment with your estate planning attorney can address any holes that have developed and ensure everything is in place.
By Jack R. Hales Jr., J.D. • Published
-
How to Create Retirement Income That’s Driven by Cash Flow
Using a combination of dividends and structured notes in your retirement portfolio can offer liquidity, income and risk mitigation.
By Kyle Hammerschmidt, Investment Adviser • Published
-
Gaining More Certainty in Your Retirement Income Plan
Relying on market performance to close the gap in your retirement income could let you down, but a CD ladder and fixed annuities could provide some certainty.
By Cole Czajkoski, Investment Adviser Representative • Published
-
Considering a 1031 Exchange? The Rules You Need to Know
Taxes are an inevitable part of investing in real estate. You can, however, defer or avoid paying capital gains taxes by following some simple rules of a 1031 exchange. Yes, you read that correctly!
By Daniel Goodwin • Published
-
Could ChatGPT and AI Change Delivery of Legal Services?
Two attorneys weigh in on whether artificial intelligence could become a legitimate (and trustworthy) way to get legal help in the future.
By H. Dennis Beaver, Esq. • Published
-
Financial Wellness Is Self-Care: 3 Steps to Help Improve Yours
Many people resolve in the new year to get healthier. Taking charge of your financial wellness can help improve your physical health by lowering your anxiety about money issues.
By Kara Duckworth, CFP®, CDFA® • Published