Making Peace With Money
If you are diligent and conscientious in your financial planning, there comes a point where you must go with the flow.


You work. You Save. You invest and diversify. You spend responsibly (well, most of the time!). But you are not really at peace with your finances. You are anxious about the future. About the markets. About your choices. You worry about college and retirement. You never really feel like you have a handle on the whole money thing.
This is definitely unsettling — especially for those who feel in control of other aspects of their lives. What is this about — and how can you shake this nagging sense of angst?
First, this feeling is normal, and plagues even the very rich. In fact, there are reasons to believe they suffer even more that we mere mortals, because they often associate themselves — and their identities — with their wealth.

Sign up for Kiplinger’s Free E-Newsletters
Profit and prosper with the best of expert advice on investing, taxes, retirement, personal finance and more - straight to your e-mail.
Profit and prosper with the best of expert advice - straight to your e-mail.
And for all of us, there is something about money that speaks to our core values, our sense of worth and our responsibility to others. We measure our worth in dollars, and compare ourselves with others. In fact, we often view ourselves through the lens of others, creating pressure to meet some external, perhaps unspoken standard. Success and failure are often viewed monetarily, and we perpetuate that with our own expectations.
To be sure, the need to earn an income and support our families is an important premise of our discussion here. You should, and must and do hold up your end of the bargain by managing money responsibly. You seek expert help when needed and make the most of what you have.
Yet even if you feel good about all this, you may still worry about the uncertainties of life — the things you can’t control — that often keep you up at night. What if the markets tank again? If the economy falters? What if policies are enacted in Washington or your state capital or municipality that are adverse to your interests?
Part of the overriding problem stems from the attachments we hold. The attachments to the expectations of others and ourselves. To the “stuff” we hold so dear. To the notion that our worth is tied to our net worth and to the standards projected by the external world.
To the extent that these forces are at play, the key to peace may very well lie in the art of letting go. And not in some retreat-to-a-monastery sort of way. Rather, you can make a conscious decision to accept whatever lies on the other side of your best efforts. Life’s uncertainties, and our human failings along the way, can, indeed, impact our best efforts to build financial security. And it is quite likely you will see this in your investing lifetime. Such detours will require you to adapt your strategies, re-assess your goals and change behaviors as external forces disrupt your trajectory.
Fortunately, financial tools and resources have become more sophisticated over time, and you can now find plenty of ways to rebalance your portfolio, create asset allocation strategies, research investment options, calculate how much to save and how long your money will last, etc. These tools and calculators — and of course professionals — can help you tweak and revise your strategy, and understand how to best adapt to the changing environment.
In 25 years of practicing financial planning, I have seen many personalities and their relationships to money. While everyone wants to know that they are doing the best they can with their resources, this alone does not provide a sense of peace. I find that when combined with an adaptive attitude, this resilience — and not the level of wealth — is what breeds contentment.
So in keeping with the “zen” philosophies, try to embrace the impermanence of life, and learn to let the outcome go — knowing you are doing your best.
Profit and prosper with the best of Kiplinger's advice on investing, taxes, retirement, personal finance and much more. Delivered daily. Enter your email in the box and click Sign Me Up.

Paula Osenni is a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) and a 25-year planning veteran who founded Act2 Transitions to inspire others. Visit her website for more tools and resources to get to your best chapter yet.
-
A Financial Expert's Three Steps to Becoming Debt-Free (Even in This Economy)
If debt has you spiraling, now is the time to take a few common-sense steps to help knock it down and get it under control.
-
I'm an Insurance Expert: This Is How Your Insurance Protects You While You're on Vacation
Here are three key things to consider about your insurance (auto, property and health) when traveling within the U.S., including coverage for rental cars, personal belongings and medical emergencies.
-
A Financial Expert's Three Steps to Becoming Debt-Free (Even in This Economy)
If debt has you spiraling, now is the time to take a few common-sense steps to help knock it down and get it under control.
-
I'm an Insurance Expert: This Is How Your Insurance Protects You While You're on Vacation
Here are three key things to consider about your insurance (auto, property and health) when traveling within the U.S., including coverage for rental cars, personal belongings and medical emergencies.
-
Investing Professionals Agree: Discipline Beats Drama Right Now
Big portfolio adjustments can do more harm than good. Financial experts suggest making thoughtful, strategic moves that fit your long-term goals.
-
'Doing Something' Because of Volatility Can Hurt You: Portfolio Manager Recommends Doing This Instead
Yes, it's hard, but if you tune out the siren song of high-flying sectors, resist acting on impulse and focus on your goals, you and your portfolio could be much better off.
-
Social Security's First Beneficiary Lived to Be 100: Will You?
Ida May Fuller, Social Security's first beneficiary, retired in 1939 and died in 1975. Today, we should all be planning for a retirement that's as long as Ida's.
-
An Investment Strategist Demystifies Direct Indexing: Is It for You?
You've heard of mutual funds and ETFs, but direct indexing may be a new concept ... one that could offer greater flexibility and possible tax savings.
-
Q2 2025 Post-Mortem: Rebound, Risks and Generational Shifts
As the third quarter gets underway, here are some takeaways from the market's second-quarter performance to consider as you make investment decisions.
-
Why Homeowners Should Beware of Tangled Titles
If you're planning to pass down property to your heirs, a 'tangled title' can complicate things. The good news is it can be avoided. Here's how.