Do Your Successful Kids Really Need an Inheritance?
Your adult kids are financially secure, so why save a massive windfall for later? Here’s why it might be time to spend your hard-earned money now.
Hey baby boomers, your kids are doing a good job saving for their own retirements and amassing their own wealth — which might have you thinking: Do they even need an inheritance?
They aren't going to turn it down, but you might be wondering whether it’s worthwhile to spread that wealth a little differently — maybe even back to yourself.
Should you? Here’s how to know, and what you can do with it instead.
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Four questions to ask yourself
Many baby boomers are sitting on a small fortune, thanks to a decade-plus bull market, massive home appreciation and a lifetime of strong wage growth. All that success adds up to a lot to pass on.
How much? About $100 trillion is expected to transfer from boomers and older generations to their heirs through 2045.
At the same time, millennials and Generation Xers overall are doing a good job of building their own wealth and securing their own retirements.
But even though the kids are doing fine, inheritance plans rarely change. The money they stand to inherit stays the same (or increases depending on where it's housed) — even if they’ve already reached a point where they need it less.
If that sounds familiar and you are on the fence about scaling back an inheritance, ask yourself these four questions:
1. Do your adult children need your help now, or are they relying on a future windfall to meet their goals?
Why this matters: If your kids are already self-sufficient, they’re going to be fine without a massive inheritance later.
2. If you gave them a portion of their inheritance today, would it make a real difference, or would it sit in an account earning interest?
Why this matters: If a windfall wouldn’t change their lives now, it won't be a game changer when they're 60.
3. Are you sacrificing your own retirement experience to ensure they have a huge payout?
Why this matters: It’s natural to want to leave a legacy, but you have to live, too. You worked hard for the right to spend time and money on your loved ones — and that’s often more important than the number you leave behind.
4. Would you and your family get more joy out of putting that money to use while you’re still around to see it?
Why this matters: Life is about the memories you make. Whether it’s helping a grandchild with tuition, funding a new business or taking that big multi-generational trip, it’s usually better to spend the money while you’re alive to enjoy the impact.
What you can do with the money instead
You've decided you can keep some of the inheritance and now you're wondering what you can do instead. That's where the fun comes in, says Cassandra Rupp, a senior wealth adviser at Vanguard.
First, retirees have to get comfortable spending more in retirement, which is notoriously hard when the fear of outliving their money looms over them.
Once they're OK with that, Rupp says boomers can redirect those resources toward enhancing their own lives. That might mean boosting day-to-day spending, upgrading your travel experiences, investing in home improvements or prioritizing wellness.
If you are more charitably inclined, you can increase your giving or the financial support you provide to friends and family through vehicles such as 529 plans.
"I’m seeing more people shift toward lifetime gifting rather than relying on traditional inheritances." — Cassandra Rupp
By shifting to a "giving while you’re living" mindset, you get to see the business they start, the home they buy or the education you funded, all while enjoying the retirement you worked for. Giving in this way turns your legacy into a living story that you get to take part in.
Plus, there are tax advantages. For 2026, you can give up to $19,000 per year, per recipient, or $38,000 for a married couple, without reporting it to the IRS. If you don't mind filling out the gift tax paperwork, an individual can gift up to $15 million (or a couple can gift $30 million) to a particular person over a lifetime. College tuition or medical bills paid directly to the institution don't count toward the annual gift limit.
Let them down easy
The biggest hurdle to spending more of your money in retirement is usually fear and misplaced guilt. You are so afraid of how your kids might react that you do nothing — leaving them to inherit a windfall they don't actually need, while you miss out on enjoying your own hard work.
An easy way to avoid that trap is to reframe the conversation. Don't tell them you're spending their money; tell them you are investing in memories now, rather than leaving a check later. If you are using the money to upgrade your own life, be transparent about it. Since your kids are already financially secure, they will likely be happy to see you actually enjoying your retirement rather than hoarding wealth for the future.
How to have the conversation
If you're concerned your adult kids will react negatively to news of a scaled-back inheritance, the key is to change the narrative. It isn't about them losing money; it's about investing in shared experiences while you're living. You can reframe the conversation in a few simple ways:
Focus on making memories. Tell them you're proud of what they’ve accomplished. Since they're in a good financial position, let them know you’d rather spend that money making memories with them now than passing down a check later. Whether that means planning a big family trip, buying a lake house, or funding a new tradition is up to you.
Be clear about your own goals. Sometimes all it takes to shift a conversation from awkward to amenable is a little transparency. Be open about your desire to spend some of your hard-earned savings on yourself. You’ve earned the right to enjoy your retirement.
Ask where you can make an impact today. Scaling back a future inheritance doesn't mean you can't give while you’re living. Asking your kids how a gift could help them or their own children right now turns a tough conversation into a meaningful gesture you get to appreciate together.
Making it work for you
Ultimately, whether you pass down every cent or decide to scale back the inheritance for your successful kids comes down to the legacy you want to leave and the life you want to live right now.
Everyone's approach is different, but it boils down to your view of wealth: Do you want it to be a static number in a will, or a living story that you get to take part in while you’re still here?
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