How to Be a Money-Smart Wedding Guest

Sure, a washcloth or bookmark may be too small a gift, says Anna Post, of the Emily Post Institute. But you should spend whatever amount makes you and your budget comfortable. If you buy something from the registry, you know the bride and groom will like it.

We're sure the couple did their best to help you with local accommodations. But sometimes you can find a better deal on your own. Check the hotel's Web site and other travel sites for current deals or cheaper rooms outside of the wedding block. And look around the area for more affordable hotels.... Read more ˅

We're sure the couple did their best to help you with local accommodations. But sometimes you can find a better deal on your own. Check the hotel's Web site and other travel sites for current deals or cheaper rooms outside of the wedding block. And look around the area for more affordable hotels.

The only reason to skip the gift is if the invitation appears entirely out of the blue — for example, from a distant relative whom you've never met or the daughter of an elementary school friend you forgot existed. But if it's someone who has some presence in your life, send a gift.

When it comes to bridal showers, non-attendees can skip the gift, says etiquette expert Diane Gottsman, owner of The Protocol School of Texas. But you'll need to give a wedding gift, whether or not you attend.

If the option isn't presented on your invitation, you don't have the option. One caveat, says Post, is if there is a clear oversight — in other words, you are married to, engaged to or living with the forgotten invitee. In that case, you can call or write the couple and ask. "Say, 'Just checkin... Read more ˅

If the option isn't presented on your invitation, you don't have the option. One caveat, says Post, is if there is a clear oversight — in other words, you are married to, engaged to or living with the forgotten invitee. In that case, you can call or write the couple and ask. "Say, 'Just checking in — I didn't see my fiancé's name on the invitation.' Then go from there," says Post.

If your budget is stretched thin by travel expenses, you're allowed to dial back the gift. Many couples throwing a destination wedding will say that your presence is gift enough. But if you feel the need to give something anyway, choose a thoughtful gift with a palatable price. The couple should ... Read more ˅

If your budget is stretched thin by travel expenses, you're allowed to dial back the gift. Many couples throwing a destination wedding will say that your presence is gift enough. But if you feel the need to give something anyway, choose a thoughtful gift with a palatable price. The couple should understand.

If your plans change, give the couple a chance to adjust the head count or invite someone on the B-list. And you should still send a gift.

It is perfectly polite to decline bridesmaid duties. You might offer to assist in other ways on the wedding day, perhaps by doing a reading or being an usher. And let the bride know that the reason is money-based, if you're comfortable doing so. She might surprise you by chipping in for some of t... Read more ˅

It is perfectly polite to decline bridesmaid duties. You might offer to assist in other ways on the wedding day, perhaps by doing a reading or being an usher. And let the bride know that the reason is money-based, if you're comfortable doing so. She might surprise you by chipping in for some of the expenses.

A tradition in some cultures, the dollar dance is a way for guests to spend some time with the bride and give another small gift. Some say it's tacky. Some say it's tradition. You don't have to participate if it makes you uncomfortable.

Three months is more appropriate. It's better to send something eventually than nothing at all. But the idea that you have a year is a myth.