Ready to do something special with your love? How about taking a little time out together and talking about something that really matters, like each other and your finances?
Here are three conversations starters for the two of you, as you ruminate over some rosé.
Conversation Starter 1: Money talks pay off
Fidelity Investment's 2021 Couples & Money Survey highlights that couples who make decisions about their finances together experience positive benefits. These are heartening statistics in contrast to the 2014 American Psychological Association's survey revealing that 31% of adults with partners cite money as a major source of conflict in a relationship.
From just $107.88 $24.99 for Kiplinger Personal Finance
Be a smarter, better informed investor.
Sign up for Kiplinger’s Free Newsletters
Profit and prosper with the best of expert advice on investing, taxes, retirement, personal finance and more - straight to your e-mail.
Profit and prosper with the best of expert advice - straight to your e-mail.
In light of these findings, consider these talking points:
- What do you like about your (and your partner's) approach to money today?
- What do you not like about each of your approaches?
- How would you like to improve your conversations about money?
Conversation Starter 2: Are we focusing on the big picture?
Your finances go beyond your monthly cash flows, annual budget and retirement savings. Depending on the nature of your relationship with your partner, seemingly insignificant daily decisions — like whether to order in dinner or subscribe to that new streaming service — have the power to influence your quality of life now and your opportunities in the future.
Rather than getting overwhelmed by all your choices, focus on the big picture, i.e.: the six interdependent pieces that comprise your unique financial puzzle:
- Income
- Expenses
- Insurance
- Investments
- Debt
- Financial obligations to other people
Source: Financial Planning: Building Your Personal Roadmap
As part of focusing on the big picture, for your next talking points, consider:
- Do you understand the details for each of the six pieces of your own financial puzzle? For instance, how much of your current income are you saving and investing? What kinds of investment risk are you taking across your retirement and brokerage accounts? When it comes to your debt, what is your current payoff plan?
- Does your partner understand the details for the six pieces of his/her financial puzzle?
- Which pieces of your respective financial puzzles do you share as a couple? Keep separate? Why?
Conversation Starter 3: When did we last talk about ‘WHO’?
If you share responsibility for any of the six pieces of your unique financial puzzle with your partner, it is essential to continuously clarify the “WHO”:
- Who is monitoring which piece of the big picture, and where are access details stored? Delegating responsibility for a piece of the financial puzzle is not abdicating responsibility for it. It's OK if your partner takes on responsibility for a piece of the puzzle; however, you have to understand how he/she is doing it. For instance, if you trust your partner to oversee your investments, and he/she engages a fiduciary financial team to manage them, it is essential that you have a relationship with that team, you know how to contact them, and you understand how to access your account information.
- How is each piece of the big picture doing (now)? Keep each other accountable for monitoring your respective pieces of your shared financial picture. In the same way that having a membership to the gym doesn't make you physically fit, being responsible for a piece of your shared financial puzzle alone doesn't mean that the piece of the puzzle is being cared for like it should. For example, if you agree as a team that you will save 15% of your income to retirement and investment accounts, who is checking to make sure that you're doing it? How is this person keeping you both informed of your progress, and how are you as a team adjusting your approach in light of your progress?
- Ownership: As far as your investments, insurance and the other pieces of your big picture goes, does the titling and do the terms of each piece (still) make sense? Life is constantly changing. Just because you and your partner agreed to structure a shared piece of your financial puzzle in a certain way in the past does not mean that it continues to make sense for you. Perhaps you purchased a life insurance policy to cover your children's education expenses and a large mortgage and now your kids have grown and you've downsized? Maybe you cited someone as a beneficiary on one of your accounts, and you have changed your mind?
There are so many ways to express your love for your partner. Own your wealth and the power it presents you and your sweetheart every day. Have the courage to be vulnerable with each other, create a safe space to talk about your finances, and strategically use your individual and shared resources to realize your dreams.
-
The Most Tax-Friendly States for Investing in 2025 (Hint: There Are Two)State Taxes Living in one of these places could lower your 2025 investment taxes — especially if you invest in real estate.
-
Want To Retire at 55? See If You Can Answer These Five QuestionsWho said you can’t retire at 55? If you say yes to these questions, you may be on your way to an early retirement.
-
Potential Trouble for Retirees: A Wealth Adviser's Guide to the OBBB's Impact on RetirementWhile some provisions might help, others could push you into a higher tax bracket and raise your costs. Be strategic about Roth conversions, charitable donations, estate tax plans and health care expenditures.
-
One Small Step for Your Money, One Giant Leap for RetirementSaving enough for retirement can sound as daunting as walking on the moon. But what would your future look like if you took one small step toward it this year?
-
This Is What You Really Need to Know About Medicare, From a Financial ExpertHealth care costs are a significant retirement expense, and Medicare offers essential but complex coverage that requires careful planning. Here's how to navigate Medicare's various parts, enrollment periods and income-based costs.
-
I'm a Financial Planner: Could Partial Retirement Be the Right Move for You?Many Americans close to retirement are questioning whether they should take the full leap into retirement or continue to work part-time.
-
From Mortgages to Taxes to Estates: How to Prepare for Falling Interest RatesAs speculation grows that the Federal Reserve will soon start lowering interest rates, now is a good time to review your financial plans for housing, estate, taxes, investing and retirement to make the most of potential changes.
-
This Is How Lottery Winners Build Lasting Legacies, From a Financial ProfessionalWinning a massive lottery jackpot, like the recent $1.4 billion Powerball, requires seeking immediate legal and financial counsel, protecting your identity and winnings and planning your legacy.
-
I'm an Investment Strategist: This Is How the Fed's Next Rate Move Could Impact Your WalletInterest rate cuts might be coming, which could affect everything from your credit card debt to your mortgage. It's smart to prepare now — here's how.
-
I'm a Retirement Planner: These Are Three Common Tax Mistakes You Could Be Making With Your InvestmentsDon't pay more tax on your investments than you need to. You can keep more money in your pocket (or for retirement) by avoiding these three common mistakes.
