Q. My husband and I have been invited to a wedding, and the couple’s gift registry has no merchandise — just lots of ideas of what they would do with cash gifts from their wedding guests. Call us old-fashioned, but we’re put off by this request for money. Any suggestions?
A. This is more a matter of etiquette than ethics. There is nothing unethical about the bridal couple making such a request (although it may be a little crass), and there is no moral dimension to your response. You have no obligation to give them anything if you’re not going to the wedding, and if you do go, you are free to send any kind of gift you wish.
A wedding gift is traditionally a way to congratulate the couple and help them get established in their new household. Alternatives to conventional gift registries (online or in a local store) are flourishing, and my favorites encourage donations to charities that the engaged couple supports, instead of (or in addition to) a gift to them. This works especially well for older couples who already have one or more households and probably don’t need more kitchen equipment.
From just $107.88 $24.99 for Kiplinger Personal Finance
Be a smarter, better informed investor.
Sign up for Kiplinger’s Free Newsletters
Profit and prosper with the best of expert advice on investing, taxes, retirement, personal finance and more - straight to your e-mail.
Profit and prosper with the best of expert advice - straight to your e-mail.
As for cash gifts: If you were okay with spending a certain amount on a gift, why not send the couple the same amount in cash? Do you think this feels too impersonal because they’ll never think kindly of you each time they use the coffeemaker you sent? Or do you not want them to be tempted to blow their wedding cash on a trip to Vegas? I share your concerns on both fronts.
My wife and I recently received a wedding invitation from a young couple who were moving across the country, wanted to travel light and had no idea what they’d need in their new home, so they said they’d love to have cash instead. But we decided that, whenever they settle down somewhere, they’ll need useful things from a hardware or housewares store. So we gave them a gift certificate instead of cash.
This response was originally written by Kiplinger in 2014.
Related Content
-
Markets Are Quiet Ahead of Fed Day: Stock Market TodayInvestors, traders and speculators appear to be on hold amid an unusually fraught Fed meeting.
-
Quiz: Test Your Knowledge of the OBBB, Wealth Transfer and Early RetirementQuiz The financial professionals who contribute to Kiplinger's Adviser Intel recently wrote about the OBBB's impact on retirement, how to ensure your wealth passes to your family and early retirement questions.
-
T-Mobile's Free iPhone 17 Deal: A Smart Switch or a Hidden Catch?Receive a free iPhone 17 when you switch to T-Mobile. We'll explain whether the deal is worth it.
-
How an Expired Passport Thwarted Blackmail (and What Other Important Documents You Should Keep)An optometrist produced his expired passport to foil a blackmail attempt by the daughter of a former employee. After proving he was out of the country on the date of a forged diary entry, he took it a step further.
-
Confused About the New COVID Vaccine and Medicare? What You Need to KnowGetting the new COVID-19 vaccine covered by Medicare isn't as easy this year as it was in the past. Here's what you need to know before you take a trip to your pharmacy.
-
How Digital Platforms Are Changing the Way You Invest in GoldInvesting in gold is easier than ever thanks to digital platforms. Learn how online tools are lowering costs, increasing transparency and making gold accessible to all investors.
-
This Is How Life Insurance Can Fund Your Dreams NowBeyond a death benefit, life insurance can provide significant financial value and flexibility through 'living benefits' while you are still alive, helping with expenses like education, business ventures or retirement.
-
Potential Trouble for Retirees: A Wealth Adviser's Guide to the OBBB's Impact on RetirementWhile some provisions might help, others could push you into a higher tax bracket and raise your costs. Be strategic about Roth conversions, charitable donations, estate tax plans and health care expenditures.
-
How to Plan Your First International Trip After RetirementRetirement paves the way for a world of exciting (and intimidating) experiences. An overseas journey can be an ideal way to embrace this new phase of life.
-
My First $1 Million: Retired Magazine Editor, 70, Boise, IdahoEver wonder how someone who's made a million dollars or more did it? Kiplinger's My First $1 Million series uncovers the answers.
