Leave Behind More than Your Money: Communication Is Key to a Successful Legacy
When you consider that 70% of wealthy families lose their wealth by the third generation, you'll see how important communication can be to your estate plan’s success.


Estate planning often seems to get the lowest priority when people make retirement plans — if it makes the priority list at all. Even some of the most loving and proactive parents avoid working out strategies for the smooth transfer of wealth to their family members.
It makes sense. No one likes to think about their own death, and the decisions that must be made can seem daunting. Unfortunately, for those who delay, there may be ramifications — at least for their loved ones.
Procrastination almost always has consequences. If you put off doing your laundry, you’ll run out of clothes to wear. If you put off going to the gas station, your car won’t run. Those are your problems, for you to handle. If you delay deciding who gets what when you die, it’s your heirs — not you — who will be left to deal with the paperwork and the issues that are bound to crop up.

Sign up for Kiplinger’s Free E-Newsletters
Profit and prosper with the best of expert advice on investing, taxes, retirement, personal finance and more - straight to your e-mail.
Profit and prosper with the best of expert advice - straight to your e-mail.
It isn’t a pleasant task at any time, but especially not when people are in mourning.
When I give workshops, I usually ask how many participants have been involved in settling an estate. Typically, about half raise their hands. Then I ask how many enjoyed the experience. Every hand goes down.
Instead of a peaceful transition — what most people surely hope for — all too often the process creates discord among family and friends. And the financial consequences can be challenging.
After speaking with thousands of high net worth families and business owners over a number of years, The Williams Group family wealth consultancy found that 70% of wealthy families lost their wealth by the second generation and 90% had lost it by the third generation.
Which explains why nearly every country and culture has some version of the rather cynical saying, “Shirtsleeves to shirtsleeves in three generations.”
What goes wrong? Using its data, The Williams Group 1 found three main causes of wealth-transfer failure:
- Trust and communication breakdown within the family — 60%
- Inadequately prepared heirs — 25%
- All other causes (tax, legal, etc.) — 15%
These figures show that estate planning tools and the advisers who use them usually aren’t the problem. It’s more about what’s happening within the family — the connections and conversations they have.
So, how can families fix these problems? Start by focusing on three areas:
1. Work on relationships and reconciliation.
Make relationships with your adult children a priority. Don’t skip over Generation 2 (your kids) to Generation 3 (your grandkids). If you aren’t getting along, work on it. Set an example and take the lead in healing any fractures to your family bonds. This will make communication much easier for everyone and help avoid hard feelings now and when you’re gone.
2. Capture your story.
Be intentional about the values you hold dear and share how those values trace back to your history. Many young people today think they can get everything they need to know from Google, not from Grandpa and Grandma. With that in mind, it’s no wonder so many want to spend all their time at the golf course or on a cruise. Retirees have a vast reservoir of wisdom and know-how. Don’t wait to be invited — pass it on to the ones you love.
3. Share your plan with your heirs.
In movies and novels, there’s always that big moment when the family gathers for the reading of the will. There’s usually a winner and a loser — and a battle. That’s fiction and a recipe for failure. You don’t have to disclose the exact dollars and cents involved in your legacy plan, but you should share the details of who, what and where. Misguided expectations about valued items or inherited funds can lead to bitterness and even lawsuits. Make it a goal to keep that from happening.
Clearly, there’s more to estate planning than signing and filing the proper documents. The good news is, you don’t need to go it alone when you’re putting together the particulars of your plan. A financial adviser who specializes in retirement is in a unique position to help you accomplish your legacy goals within your overall financial plan. He or she can help you coordinate with your attorney or CPA to make sure your wealth transfer goes smoothly. And, because things can get complicated, your loved ones may be included in any conversations you wish.
Just don’t put it off until it’s too late. Your wealth transfer should be a blessing, not a burden.
Kim Franke-Folstad contributed to this article.
1 — Roy Williams and Vic Preisser. Preparing Heirs (San Francisco: Robert Reed Publishers, 2010).
Investment advisory services offered only by duly registered individuals through AE Wealth Management, LLC (AEWM). AEWM and J. Biance Financial are not affiliated companies. Neither the firm nor its representatives may give tax or legal advice. Investing involves risk, including the potential loss of principal. No investment strategy can guarantee a profit or protect against loss in periods of declining values. Any references to protection benefits or lifetime income generally refer to fixed insurance products, never securities or investment products. Insurance and annuity product guarantees are backed by the financial strength and claims-paying ability of the issuing insurance company. 648771
The appearances in Kiplinger were obtained through a PR program. The columnist received assistance from a public relations firm in preparing this piece for submission to Kiplinger.com. Kiplinger was not compensated in any way.
Profit and prosper with the best of Kiplinger's advice on investing, taxes, retirement, personal finance and much more. Delivered daily. Enter your email in the box and click Sign Me Up.

Justin M. Biance, a Certified Estate Planner and principal at J. Biance Financial (www.jbiance.com), is the author of "Designed to Last: Renovate Your Financial House and Retire With Confidence" and “The Great Inheritance: 7 Steps to Leaving Behind More Than Your Money.” He specializes in multigenerational legacy planning and creating tax-efficient strategies for transferring wealth to heirs.
-
I'm a Financial Planner: Here Are Five Smart Moves for DIY Investors
You'll go further as a DIY investor with a solid game plan. Here are five tips to help you put together a strategy you can rely on over the years to come.
-
Neglecting Car Maintenance Could Cost You More Than a Repair, Especially in the Summer
Worn, underinflated tires and other degraded car parts can fail in extreme heat, causing accidents. If your employer is ignoring needed repairs on company cars, there's something employees can do.
-
'Drivers License': A Wealth Strategist Helps Gen Z Hit the Road
From student loan debt to a changing job market, this generation has some potholes to navigate. But with those challenges come opportunities.
-
Financial Pros Provide a Beginner's Guide to Building Wealth in 10 Years
Building wealth over 10 years requires understanding your current financial situation, budgeting effectively, eliminating high-interest debt and increasing both your income and financial literacy.
-
You're Divorced, But the Work Isn't Over: A Guide to Five Financial Tasks to Do ASAP
Once your divorce is settled, don't waste time. You've got to tie up some important loose ends or risk losing money and facing tax consequences.
-
Five Mistakes to Avoid in Your First Year of Retirement
Retirement brings the freedom to choose how to spend your money and time. But choices made in the initial rush of excitement could create problems in the future.
-
I'm an Investing Expert: This Is How You Can Invest Like Warren Buffett
Buffett just invested $15 billion in oil and gas, and you can leverage the same strategy in your IRA to potentially generate 8% to 12% quarterly cash flow while taking advantage of tax benefits that are unavailable in any other investment class.
-
Integrity, Generosity and Wealth: A Faith-Based Approach to Business
Entrepreneurs who align their business and financial decisions with the biblical principles of integrity, generosity and helping others can realize impactful and fulfilling success.