Estate Planning for Surviving Spouses: What to Do ASAP
As soon as you are able, you have some legal documents to review and plans to update to protect both you and your heirs.


After the death of a spouse, most of the attention for legal services is paid to administering the estate of the decedent. Often times, little time is spent focusing on the legal needs of the surviving spouse.
From personal experience, I can tell you that there is some important work that needs to be done during this time. Legal documents must be reviewed as soon as the surviving spouse is able, not only to address what will happen after the second death, but also to make sure that the surviving spouse is protected during his or her lifetime.
In addition, the surviving spouse should always have his or her own will and trust reviewed. Some documents are intended for the benefit of the surviving spouse during his or her lifetime, while others may apply to the treatment of heirs.

Sign up for Kiplinger’s Free E-Newsletters
Profit and prosper with the best of expert advice on investing, taxes, retirement, personal finance and more - straight to your e-mail.
Profit and prosper with the best of expert advice - straight to your e-mail.
My personal story
When I married, my husband and I changed the beneficiaries on our retirement plans to each other and opened joint savings and brokerage accounts. Since my husband had two children and his insurance policy was worth about what his retirement plan was worth, he left the children as the beneficiaries of the policy.
Over time as we accumulated more investments, we realized our original plan was inadequate. As financial planners, intellectually we knew we needed trusts and health care proxies, but emotionally I wasn’t on board. Emotionally I felt, “Who cares what happens to my stuff when I’m dead?” We were happy, relatively young and didn’t want to deal with what an estate plan represented.
That being said, my intellect won and we met Regina Snow Mandl — now a partner at The Wagner Law Group — executed the documents and emotionally put them in a drawer never to be thought about again. Given our profession, and the frank and open relationship we had, when my husband became seriously ill, I took the documents out of the drawer and called Regina so the three of us could sit down to update the plan.
Here is some estate planning advice directly from Regina that she shares with her clients:
1. Durable Powers of Attorney
A durable power of attorney authorizes a named individual to act on your behalf for financial matters during your lifetime. It is a powerful tool, and generally spouses will name each other the “agent” or “attorney-in-fact” so that one spouse can sign on behalf of the other. This is particularly important in the event of disability or incapacity, which may be completely unexpected.
The surviving spouse needs to take care that another trusted person replaces the decedent as their power of attorney. The surviving spouse also must decide if the power of attorney may be used at any time, or only when he or she becomes incapacitated. If the power of attorney is not in place, and the surviving spouse becomes unable to sign documents, then this will involve going to court, a costly experience that also can cause delays. In some states, such as Massachusetts, you are also able to name a guardian or conservator in your power of attorney should the need arise, possibly avoiding family acrimony.
2. Health Care Proxies
A health care proxy, sometimes called a medical power of attorney, is used whenever you are unable to communicate health care decisions for yourself. If the decedent was named as the health care agent (as is common), then the alternate agent, if one is named, would automatically become the health care agent. Now would be a good time for the surviving spouse to review who is named as the alternate. Is the choice still appropriate? And if he or she doesn’t have anyone named as alternate, it’s time to make that election.
Often copies of health care proxies are given to primary care physicians and are on file with hospitals, so if you make a new health care proxy you need to be sure that you give an updated copy to anyone who might have the old health care proxy so that they are aware of the change.
3. HIPAA Release Forms
There are strict laws about the release of your medical information. In order for anyone to inquire about your medical records when the health care proxy is not invoked, you need to sign a HIPAA release. This is very useful when you are still able to make your own health care decisions, but would like someone to be able to speak to the doctors and access medical information.
4. Wills and Trusts
Not only should the decedent’s will and trust be reviewed, but the surviving spouse needs to revisit his or her own estate plan with an attorney. Sometimes wills and trusts are designed to give a surviving spouse a “second look,” to see if the decedent’s estate plan is still the right fit.
Perhaps one of the children is having financial difficulties or is going through a divorce. In that case, the surviving spouse may have the ability to direct that property go in a different manner. Another example: The surviving spouse may wish to “disclaim” some of their inheritance so that more property goes to the children. There are strict rules about when you can disclaim, and how. These are technical matters and should only be undertaken with the assistance of an attorney.
5. Beneficiary Designations
A surviving spouse needs to review all beneficiary designation forms for life insurance, retirement, brokerage and bank accounts. These may be in the surviving spouse’s name, or are accounts that the spouse inherited from the decedent. In particular, if a spouse inherits retirement funds, retirement beneficiary forms for the decedent need to be reviewed, as the alternate beneficiary on the decedent’s form no longer applies. In that case, is up to the surviving spouse to submit a new designation of beneficiary form.
The bottom line
Everyone’s needs are different, but these are the basic documents to start with. Some people need more than what is discussed here and others need less, but we all need some of them. Difficult as going to the attorney is during this painful time — and it stinks — it is a task that needs to be done.
Securities and Advisory Services offered through Cadaret, Grant & Co., Inc., a Registered Investment Adviser and Member FINRA/SIPC. HMS Financial Group and Cadaret, Grant & Co., Inc. are separate entities.
Profit and prosper with the best of Kiplinger's advice on investing, taxes, retirement, personal finance and much more. Delivered daily. Enter your email in the box and click Sign Me Up.

Barbara Shapiro is the President of HMS Financial Group located in Dedham, Mass. She is a CFP®, Certified Divorce Financial Analyst and a Financial Transitionist®. She is also co-author of "He Said: She Said: A Practical Guide to Finance and Money During Divorce." Her firm specializes in comprehensive financial planning with a subspecialty in divorce that assists clients' transition from marriage to independence with peace of mind and confidence. Learn more at HMS-Financial.com.
-
We bought a vacation home for retirement, but we never use it. Should we sell, or rent it out and wait for mortgage rates to come down?
We ask financial planning experts for advice.
-
Is a CD a Smart Money Move Amid Potential Rate Cuts?
Knowing what's coming can help savers prepare and maximize returns.
-
A Financial Professional's Take on Long-Term Care Insurance: Buy or Not?
Unless you have about $6,000 burning a hole in your pocket every month, you should make a plan in case you need long-term care. Luckily, you have options.
-
How to Unearth Sustainable Investment in Mining: A Financial Professional's Guide
Mining is likely to play a critical role in the global transition to more environmentally friendly energy resources. Here's how you can balance the opportunities and the risks.
-
Don't Be a Sucker: The Truth About Guarantor and Cosigner Agreements
There are significant financial and relationship risks involved if you agree to be a cosigner or guarantor. Make sure you perform your due diligence, and know exactly what you're getting into, before agreeing to such a commitment.
-
The Hidden Risk Lurking in Most Retirement Plans: Human Behavior
What's one of the differences between a good financial adviser and a great one? The ability to use behavioral coaching to guide clients away from emotional decision-making and toward retirement success.
-
Addressing Your Clients' Emotional Side: Communication Techniques for Financial Advisers
Rather than focusing only on financial plans, you can better serve your clients — and grow your business — by learning what to say and do when a client gets anxious or emotional.
-
Seven Hidden Downsides of Dividend Investing, From a Financial Adviser
Dividend investing could be draining your wealth with unexpected costs and limited growth potential. Here are some downsides, along with smarter strategies to take control of your retirement income.
-
How to Position Your Business for a Lucrative Exit Despite Private Equity's Slowdown
As private equity firms seek strongly performing companies, crafting a narrative about your business' high-quality assets and future opportunities can make a lucrative sale possible.
-
Don't Regret Buying a Home: An Expert Guide to Navigating Today's Tough Housing Market
Whether you're a first-time buyer, want to upsize/downsize or move closer to work or family, it's critical to stay within your budget and have an emergency fund.