I'm a Retirement Editor, But My Parents' Estate Tripped Me Up with a Snake, a Gun and a Mystery Box
My parents took meticulous care of their home and estate planning. But when it came time to sell their house of 54 years, all hell broke loose. Here are the five lessons I learned.
When my mother turned 90, it was clear she needed to move to assisted living. Her home was truly beautiful; as a talented artist, she had covered the walls with her bright paintings, collected antiques, and thoughtfully refined every corner of the house over her 54 years there. But as my sibling and I got ready to sell, we realized the house was more Grey Gardens than Grey Poupon.
What saved the process for us? A fabulous real estate agent and a realization that we couldn't DIY the process.
Though we sold the house seven years ago, our agent still talks about the sale because it was, to put it mildly, strange. If you find yourself in a similar position — whether you are selling a parent's house or getting your own house ready for market — here are a few surprises I encountered and lessons I learned along the way, as part of Kiplinger's Trillion Dollar Talk campaign.
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Lesson 1: Expect the unexpected (even snakes)
We never saw snakes in our suburban garden and never had them as pets. So it was a surprise when our agent, Cheryl Leahy of Compass Homes, found a 5-foot-long black snake emerging from the recesses of the living room couch. "That's among the top three craziest things that have ever happened to me over 25 years of selling real estate; I was sitting on that couch every day [as we prepped the house]," Leahy recalled.
When you are emptying a house that has been lived in for half a century, you will find things that shock you. Work with an agent who can roll with surprises.
Lesson 2: Firearms are actually a pretty common surprise
The closing was a rushed affair, so while we were in the lawyers' office signing documents, our agent, Leahy, was tying up loose ends at the house. Imagine my surprise when she called to say that she had found a gun at the back of a drawer.
I froze, my pen pausing over the document I was signing; then I burst out laughing. My parents had a play readers' group and used a prop gun for one of their noir productions.
Leahy was unperturbed. "I find a lot of guns, and they're usually tucked away somewhere that nobody even remembers... We find a lot of rifles in attics."
Lesson 3: Your agent's network is gold
The home had a dial-lock safe sunk into the basement's concrete floor. To close on a house sale, all fixed safes must be open and empty, but even with the combination, I couldn't open it. I called a locksmith, who peeked in with a flashlight and cried, "I see so much gold!" He claimed he needed more time and $350 more to get it out.
I wasn't falling for his scam, so our agent called her own locksmith, who opened it quickly for a fraction of the cost. Instead of gold, it contained silverware and documents. And also?
A can of Campbell's soup.
As Leahy notes, an effective agent must have a reliable network of trusted local contractors, including painters, haulers, cleaners, landscapers and estate sale experts. And locksmiths!
Lesson 4: Know the market
A good agent will also advise you against making major aesthetic renovations without consulting them first, preventing you from overspending on updates that won't actually increase the home's market value.
I interviewed several agents before the sale, most of whom recommended ripping out the bushes in the front yard and putting in a lawn to attract families with children. I hired Leahy partly because she insisted it was unnecessary. Sure enough, our buyers said that they loved having no front lawn to maintain.
The same holds for any pre-sale renovation. "It's really important to not put more money than you're going to get back out," Leahy urges. She also said buyers are looking for older homes that still have their original charm, which last-minute renovations could ruin.
Lesson 5: Hire a wedding planner for the move
If there is one cardinal rule for getting a parent's house ready for sale, it is this: Don't do it alone.
Jami Shapiro, a senior move manager and member of the National Association of Senior Move Managers (NASMM), says that the biggest mistake well-meaning adult children make is trying to handle the transition on their own.
"The adult child should be the last person that goes through this process with a parent," she advises. "It's emotional for both people. A parent doesn't want to take on the role of parentified adult. ... They've been the parent; let them continue to be the parent."
Instead, Shapiro recommends hiring a senior move manager, whom she describes as a "wedding planner for a move." These professionals can stage the house and get it ready for the market. Furthermore, they often vet real estate agents, protecting families from aggressive realtors who might put the transaction ahead of the emotional transition.
Leahy echoes this sentiment, noting that elderly clients are often far more receptive to advice from a professional, neutral third party than they are to suggestions from their own children.
Ultimately, when you are dealing with the emotional weight of the family home, remember to give everyone a little grace. By outsourcing the heavy lifting to the right professionals, you can command a good price — and preserve your sanity.
More Trillion Dollar Talk
- Before You Leave Your Home to Your Children, Ask These Questions
- What Happens With Taxes When You Inherit a House
- How Real Families Are Handling The Great Wealth Transfer
- Could You Handle a Sudden Windfall?
