An Inventory of What We’ve Endured: After the Wildfires
A traumatic experience like the California wildfires reminds us of other losses we've endured. But simple tasks return us to the present and drive away despair.
The devil wind screeches past our hillside home, eager to egg-on flames that will destroy the not-too-distant coastal town of Pacific Palisades. In our pergola’s eaves, our air force of Balinese “demon chasers,” small hanging sculptures of gold-gilded dragons and brightly painted flying frogs, cows, dogs, elephants and sword- and hatchet-wielding fairies, have worked themselves into a clattering protective frenzy.
The power goes out. Evacuation preparations made, my wife Pam and I lie in bed, watching the orange glow on the horizon and wondering what the Milky Way will look like when the wind rips off our roof. Soon Altadena, another nearby neighborhood, ignites and the total of Southern California homes burned pushes past 10,000. Fate spares ours. This time.
The next morning, beneath an ugly gray sun, I attack drifts of ash, leaves and debris. A piece of singed paper has spiraled down from the heavens — a bit of irony, it’s a notice from someone’s insurance company to keep up payments.
From just $107.88 $24.99 for Kiplinger Personal Finance
Become a smarter, better informed investor. Subscribe from just $107.88 $24.99, plus get up to 4 Special Issues
Sign up for Kiplinger’s Free Newsletters
Profit and prosper with the best of expert advice on investing, taxes, retirement, personal finance and more - straight to your e-mail.
Profit and prosper with the best of expert advice - straight to your e-mail.
Good advice. As are reminders to take inventory of possessions before disaster visits. But it’s another inventory I find myself making as, masked up to filter the poison air, I sweep, sweep, sweep.
I’m 71. My generation, like all generations, has endured unfortunate events, and I doubt I’m alone in feeling grateful that the longer we live, the more gently past cataclysms loop back to dampen our sense of doom.
Remember the nuke-fried landscapes that our childhood imaginations cooked up during the 1962 Cuban missile crisis? Two years later we watched on TV as angry mobs set Watts on fire, turning the night sky over Los Angeles crimson and plum. In 1992, as a reporter covering the Rodney King uprising, I moved with awe through block after block of buildings spurting 40-foot flames.
In 1994, the Northridge earthquake slammed into LA like a runaway earthmover. Transformers exploded. Unchained electricity sparked twinkling fires across the blacked-out city, and Pam and I cradled our children on a stairway strewn with broken glass. As we dozed, a faint tinkling stirred fear. We grabbed each other’s hands. The sound was like nothing we’d heard. Because we’d never heard a liberated guinea pig inching its way through a minefield of glass shards.
Years later, in 2003, I snuck through police lines in the foothills of San Bernardino, Calif., as another conflagration tumbled from wildlands into a town. After several panicky retreats from wailing bursts of embers, I stood before the rubble that had been my childhood home.
As I sweep the debris of today's fire, hypnotized by my broom’s rhythmic swish, swish, swish, I can practically smell again a sweet counterpoint to the acrid smoke from that long ago fire — the aroma of a few orange blossoms that had hidden on the downwind side of one incinerated tree, and remained unscathed.
Another memory that wafts in from that distant night is a charred page I found in the smoldering heap that had been my dad’s beloved library. It’s framed now in my office, still intriguing me with the question of why certain prose fragments — “... a burning column of fire, spreading outwards….” — survived. It’s a final reverie, though, that dredges up my inventory’s lesson.
Arlyce and Bernard Fellbaum had moved from a Minnesota farm and raised a family across the street from ours. For months after the San Bernardino fire, I’d spot these retired postal workers sleeping in their car, exhausted by a day of pulling weeds, on hands and knees, from the lawn they had revitalized, even though their house was still gone.
Not even the overly poetic part of me really believes that our collection of winged warriors chased off the evil spirits that could well have destroyed our Los Angeles home. I’m certain though, that from bombed out Dresden to New York’s Twin Towers to Pacific Palisades, the pulling of weeds and rhythmic scrape, scrape, scrape of rakes, brooms and shovels is what drives away our demons of despair.
Note: This item first appeared in Kiplinger Retirement Report, our popular monthly periodical that covers key concerns of affluent older Americans who are retired or preparing for retirement. Subscribe for retirement advice that’s right on the money.
Related content
Profit and prosper with the best of Kiplinger's advice on investing, taxes, retirement, personal finance and much more. Delivered daily. Enter your email in the box and click Sign Me Up.

A career journalist and communications professional, Sipchen has been a reporter, columnist, blogger and editor at the Los Angeles Times, where he shared the 2002 Pulitzer Prize and the Society of Professional Journalists’ Sigma Delta Chi award for editorial writing (with Alex Raksin). He also shared, as an editor, the Times 2016 Pulitzer Prize for team coverage of the San Bernardino Terrorist Attack and, as a reporter, the 1992 Pulitzer for team coverage of the Los Angeles riots. Sipchen is a visiting full professor at Occidental College.
-
I'm 73 and hate winter, but I can't afford to be a snowbird.How can a snowbird wannabe warm up without the expense? We asked professional wealth planners for advice.
-
5 Smart Things to Do With Your Year-End BonusAfter you indulge your urge to splurge on a treat, consider doing adult things with the extra cash, like paying down debt, but also setting up a "fun fund."
-
Gen X Investors: Protect Your Portfolio From an AI BubbleAmid talk of an AI bubble, what's the best course of action for investors in their 50s and 60s, whose retirement savings are at risk from major market declines?
-
I'm 73, Retired, and Dreading Winter, But I Can't Afford to Be a Snowbird. Help!How can a snowbird wannabe warm up without the expense? We asked professional wealth planners for advice.
-
5 Smart Things to Do With Your Year-End Bonus, From a Financial ProfessionalAfter you indulge your urge to splurge on a treat, consider doing adult things with the extra cash, like paying down debt, but also setting up a "fun fund."
-
Are You a Gen X Investor? Here's How You Can Protect Your Portfolio From an AI BubbleAmid talk of an AI bubble, what's the best course of action for investors in their 50s and 60s, whose retirement savings are at risk from major market declines?
-
Hey, Retirees: Put Your Charitable Gifts in a Donor-Advised Fund (and Enjoy Your Tax Break)A donor-advised fund is a simple (really!), tax-smart strategy that lets you contribute a large, tax-deductible gift now and then distribute grants over time.
-
23 Last-Minute Gifts That Still Arrive Before ChristmasScrambling to cross those last few names off your list? Here are 23 last-minute gifts that you can still get in time for Christmas.
-
4 Great Tools to DIY Your Own Financial PlanSmart Savings Several tools picked out by Kiplinger that DIYers can use to make their own financial plan.
-
The 7-Month Deadline That Determines Your Lifetime Medicare PremiumsUnderstanding Medicare enrollment is crucial, as missing deadlines can lead to permanent late enrollment penalties and gaps in coverage.
-
If You're a U.S. Retiree Living in Portugal, Your Tax Plan Needs a Post-NHR Strategy ASAPWhen your 10-year Non-Habitual Resident tax break ends, you could see your tax rate soar. Take steps to plan for this change well before the NHR window closes.