Meaningful New Year's Resolutions for Grandparents Who Really Care
It's time to change how we think about resolutions. They can still deal with finances, but maybe they should focus on our most important asset, our grandchildren and the type of legacy we want to leave them.
Happy New Year! The ball is about to drop, and the revelry is just beginning; there’s no better time to reflect upon last year and consider some changes for 2019.
Are you dreading the phrase, “New Year’s Resolutions?” I am, because the first one always involves dieting. Time to hit the salad bar. If you are like most people, after we resolve to lose weight, our next most popular resolution usually centers around our money habits. You know the drill … shed the debt, save more and spend less. However, as February creeps in, so do the burgers and fries, not to mention, the credit cards. Many of us have a tough time sticking to the promises we make to ourselves.
Who Thought of New Year’s Resolutions, Anyway?
According to History.com, “The practice of making resolutions for the new year is thought to have first caught on among the ancient Babylonians, who made promises in order to earn the favor of the gods and start the year off on the right foot. (They would reportedly vow to pay off debts and return borrowed farm equipment.)”
From just $107.88 $24.99 for Kiplinger Personal Finance
Become a smarter, better informed investor. Subscribe from just $107.88 $24.99, plus get up to 4 Special Issues
Sign up for Kiplinger’s Free Newsletters
Profit and prosper with the best of expert advice on investing, taxes, retirement, personal finance and more - straight to your e-mail.
Profit and prosper with the best of expert advice - straight to your e-mail.
I’m not sure if they were more successful in paying off debt than we are today (and I’m also not sure about how much farm equipment was returned). It’s nice to know that “shedding pounds” is a modern problem and the words “salad bar” were not in their lexicon.
NEW New Year’s Resolutions
How about if we change the dialog and set up resolutions that still can deal with money, but focus on our most important asset: our grandchildren? Maybe it’s time to focus on the real legacy we want to leave. Maybe it’s time to design that legacy and resolve to share that with our next generation of loved ones while we are alive.
What Is Your Legacy?
Is your legacy the money you will leave or the memories you will leave? You know that this is a rhetorical question, but sometimes we get caught up in the money because it is tangible. It is not to say that this divvying of the material should not be dealt with. By the way, if this is not dealt with while you are alive, it will be after your death; and perhaps with the consequences that you most dread. More families are pulled apart because of money issues. Don’t set your kids and grandkids up to hear about your wishes when they are sitting in front of an unknown financial expert after your death.
The Money: All Children and Grandchildren Are Not Created Equal
Because all kids are not created equal, in death, you don’t have to treat them as such. You may have special needs grandchildren who may require lifetime care. These issues have to be dealt with. Trusts may have to be established to provide for those situations. The biggest issue is to explain your intentions to all who are involved. (I feel a New Year’s Resolution developing.)
You also may have kids or grandkids that may have a profession that does not pay as lucratively as others in the family. Therefore, you may decide to leave your concert violinist grandchild more money than your investment banker grandchild. Again, the issue is to explain this to your loved ones before your death. (Do you feel another New Year’s Resolution coming on?)
Memories
Memories are intangible, but very real, nonetheless to the loved ones holding onto them. I remember my grandma Jewel lugging her homemade chicken soup and matzo balls to our house every week because she knew how excited I was to come home from school to find her there with a piping hot bowl of love. We would sit for hours and talk. In fact, I spoke to her every day of my life until her death at almost 100 years. Yes, another memory was her teaching me how to make her matzo balls and her never commenting to me that hockey pucks tasted better. Of course, money was left, but it was never about the money.
You are alive. The biggest resolution you can make now is to get on that memory train and create new meaning in your relationships with your grandchildren. These don’t have to be huge. They only need to involve time and love. Keep “stuff” out of it. Your grandchildren may think that a new iPad is the legacy they want, but trust me, when you pass, that will not be what they remembered you for.
Famed banker David Rockefeller told me something really interesting once. I used to work with him when I was at Chase Bank. He was reminiscing about how his family was really close and how they did lots of things together. He talked about the fact that the meaning for him was never about the family’s wealth. He quipped, “You will never see a hearse with a luggage rack.”
Be the Change
Make sure that your New Year’s Resolutions are your goals, not someone else’s hopes for you and your loved ones. Don’t just pop the bubbly and say you are going to change because the new year is here and you are wearing those goofy 2019 sparkle sunglasses.
Change is about you and your life. Remember, your resolutions begin with you and the life you want and the legacy you leave.
Happy New Year.
-
Should You Renew Your CD?With rate cuts impacting earnings, we examine if now is a wise time to renew CDs.
-
7 Ways to Plan Now to Save on Medicare IRMAA Surcharges LaterUnderstand the critical two-year lookback period and why aggressive planning before you enroll in Medicare is the most effective way to minimize IRMAA.
-
Law Reversal Looming? Trump Eyes 2026 Gambling Winnings Tax ChangeTax Deductions It's no secret that the IRS is coming after your gambling winnings in 2026. But how long will that last?
-
Your Year-End Tax and Estate Planning Review Just Got UrgentChanging tax rules and falling interest rates mean financial planning is more important than ever as 2025 ends. There's still time to make these five key moves.
-
What Makes This Business So Successful? We Find Out From the Founder's KidsThe children of Morgan Clayton share how their father's wisdom, life experience and caring nature have turned their family business into a respected powerhouse.
-
I'm a Financial Adviser: The Fed's Rate Cuts Could Have Impacts You Might Not AnticipateUnderstanding how lower interest rates could impact your wallet can help you determine the right financial moves to make.
-
Past Performance Is Not Indicative of Your Financial Adviser's ExpertiseMany people find a financial adviser by searching online or asking for referrals from friends or family. This can actually end up costing you big-time.
-
I'm a Financial Planner: If You're Not Doing Roth Conversions, You Need to Read ThisRoth conversions and other Roth strategies can be complex, but don't dismiss these tax planning tools outright. They could really work for you and your heirs.
-
Could Traditional Retirement Expectations Be Killing Us? A Retirement Psychologist Makes the CaseA retirement psychologist makes the case: A fulfilling retirement begins with a blueprint for living, rather than simply the accumulation of a large nest egg.
-
I'm a Financial Adviser: This Is How You Can Adapt to Social Security UncertaintyRather than letting the unknowns make you anxious, focus on building a flexible income strategy that can adapt to possible future Social Security changes.
-
I'm a Financial Planner for Millionaires: Here's How to Give Your Kids Cash Gifts Without Triggering IRS PaperworkMost people can gift large sums without paying tax or filing a return, especially by structuring gifts across two tax years or splitting gifts with a spouse.
