At one time, political disagreements were just that — disagreements. It wasn’t uncommon for political talk to make its way into conversation at Thanksgiving dinner, and when someone disagreed, the topic was dropped, and we moved on. Unfortunately, things aren’t the same today.
When Donald Trump ran for and won the 2016 election, our political culture began to shift. For many, Trump was outlandish and outspoken. This caused many people to dislike him. However, this same attitude led many others to love him. This shift started making its way into the networks’ news cycle and people began sharing their views all over social media — and this included disagreements.
What used to be a simple disagreement between two people can now unfold online in front of millions of users, and the wounds cut even deeper. A poll conducted by The New York Times and Siena College found that in 2022, nearly 1 in 5 voters reported politics had hurt their friendships or family relationships, and I’ve experienced this firsthand.
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Recently, a friend and I were grabbing drinks when we started talking politics. Within 10 minutes, the conversation went from zero to 100, and we decided that we could not talk about politics if we wanted to remain friends. We just didn’t see eye-to-eye due to our own personal (and valid) reasons. We were able to acknowledge that and agree to disagree. Unfortunately, I’m seeing some people take more extreme measures when it comes to their estate planning.
Removing beneficiaries from a will
Lately, I’ve had several clients come in asking me to remove beneficiaries, particularly from trusts and wills. Now, at first glance, this isn’t uncommon at all. Life changes, and people need to make adjustments. I get that. But what I started learning was that people were making these changes after finding out their beneficiaries don’t hold the same political beliefs. Some have completely cut these people out of their lives — folks they once were going to leave a legacy to. While I try to help talk them through it, in the hope they might reconsider, they’ve hired me to be their lawyer and execute their wishes.
I’ve been working in this industry for more than 30 years, and I’ve never seen anything quite like this. We’re at a time when our country is so divided it’s causing people to cut off loved ones and friends. This polarization is tearing us apart from people we’ve made a part of our lives. The ability to share information on an enormous scale has resulted in misinformation causing people to make incorrect assumptions, ultimately generalizing and alienating an entire group of people.
We’re all entitled to our opinions, and we have a right to vote for who we think will do the best job, and that is why we must respect one another’s differences. More than likely, a hateful comment on social media or a heated argument with your friends isn’t going to change the way someone votes, but it will destroy your relationships. We all have personal reasons and circumstances that are influencing our vote. As we get ready to vote this November, please remember that there are real people behind party lines and that it is OK to disagree. Politics are not worth losing people over.
Take a step back
If you’re considering changing your beneficiaries solely due to political values, I’d encourage you to take a step back from the situation entirely. It’s easy to want to take action, especially in the heat of the moment when emotions are running high. However, beneficiary designations are important, and your decision should not be made on impulse. Give yourself time to cool down before taking any action.
I’d also encourage you to think about your relationship in a greater context. What made you choose to include them in your estate plan in the first place? This reminder might make you reconsider.
Choosing a beneficiary is a decision that shouldn’t be taken lightly. Beneficiaries hold a significant responsibility in ensuring your final wishes are carried out. They should ultimately have your best interest at heart in this role. Of course, these designations can be updated and changed over time, but things can get complicated — especially in the event of an unexpected, life-altering event.
As you are making your choice, don’t forget that communication is key. Talk to your loved ones about your feelings and listen to what they have to say. You might find some commonalities after all.
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