Financial Triage for the Suddenly Single
Here are the first steps to take when you’re picking up the pieces.


When you become solely in charge of your financial future by death or divorce, the decisions you face likely seem overwhelming. The flood of emotions you experience may affect your decision-making capabilities, no matter how strong or independent you were as a partner.
In most relationships, responsibilities are shared. You may or may not have been the bill payer or the asset organizer. Now these, and myriad other roles, are all on your shoulders. You need the Oxford Dictionary’s definition of “triage” — “the assignment of the degrees of urgency.” Normally the term is used when referring to a medical disaster, but it’s also applicable to your finances during times of personal crisis.
As you begin the process of rebuilding your life, here are the first steps to take:

Sign up for Kiplinger’s Free E-Newsletters
Profit and prosper with the best of expert advice on investing, taxes, retirement, personal finance and more - straight to your e-mail.
Profit and prosper with the best of expert advice - straight to your e-mail.
Financial Issues to Work Out
- A cash-flow analysis will be an important step to determine your financial obligations and your current sources of income.
- Establishing an emergency fund, if you don’t already have one, should be a top priority. Once any immediate expenses are covered, positioning some of your funds for supplementing your reduced monthly income should be the next priority. After your current situation has been addressed, establishing a long-term plan for life insurance proceeds or assets designated for retirement is the final goal.
- Updating all annuity, life insurance and retirement plan assets with your new primary and contingent beneficiary arrangements will ensure that your wishes are met.
Tax Issues to Consider
- What could be the most beneficial way to file your current year taxes? For those who are divorced, filing separately, jointly or married filing separately are all potential options, each with their own advantages and disadvantages. For widows and widowers, the year of your spouse’s death is the last year you are eligible to file jointly and take advantage of the expanded tax brackets and benefits.
- Quarterly estimates may need to be adjusted to reflect your new income situation.
Legal Issues to Consider
- You must ensure you follow the directions set forth in your deceased spouse’s will. This includes determining who will be handling the estate settlement duties. Once the executor or personal representative of the estate is established, there are several actions needed, such as notifying Social Security, pension providers and creditors.
- Your current will, trust and/or powers of attorney documents will need to be revised based on your new situation.
Don’t Forget to Take Care of Yourself
During such stressful times, you need to take a moment to consider your own needs so you can put yourself in a position where you’re strong enough to help yourself. Remember:
- Emotional and spiritual triage go hand-in-hand with financial triage.
- Turn to your friends, family and your higher being for support.
- Stay busy, exercise, meditate, pray, visit family or go to a support group. Find what works for you.
Words of Caution
Once you get started picking up the financial pieces, it’s important to protect yourself while you’re still vulnerable.
- Don’t be in a rush to change existing investments.
- Avoid impulsive emotional decisions like buying a new car or moving.
- Wait until you have healed and then put a holistic plan in place for your future.
Final Thoughts
If the to-do list of financial, tax and legal tasks seems overwhelming to accomplish on your own, good news, there are professionals trained and prepared to help you. Between financial planners, CPAs and attorneys, the resources are there to take care of the urgent and allow you time to get your feet on the ground before tackling the next chapter of your life.
Know that you are strong. Work at finding peace, and nurture your soul. Rebuilding your life is a process that goes beyond urgency. Take the time to rediscover yourself, be positive, get a vision and outline new goals for your happiness.
Ali Swofford, Ph.D., CLU, ChFC, President of Swofford Financial, minimizes risks and createssolutions enabling retirement focused clients to live, love and leave a legacy.
Get Kiplinger Today newsletter — free
Profit and prosper with the best of Kiplinger's advice on investing, taxes, retirement, personal finance and much more. Delivered daily. Enter your email in the box and click Sign Me Up.

Aleen M. (Ali) Swofford, PhD, CLU, ChFC, is a founding partner of Prosperity Partners Wealth Management, takes her 33 years of planning, investment and client-partner leadership experience and focuses on creative tax-advantaged solutions designed specifically for each client's unique financial situation. Ali specializes in solving problems and minimizing risks for retirement focused clients so they may concentrate on living, loving, and creating a legacy. What some may view as work is truly Ali's passion.
-
What Wall Street's CEOs Are Saying About Trump's Tariffs
We're in the thick of earnings season and corporate America has plenty to say about the Trump administration's trade policy.
By Karee Venema
-
The Role of the U.S. Dollar in Retirement: Is It Secure?
Protect your retirement from de-dollarization, because “capital always goes where it is treated best."
By Adam Shell
-
To Stay on Track for Retirement, Consider Doing This
Writing down your retirement and income plan in an investment policy statement can help you resist letting a bear market upend your retirement.
By Matt Green, Investment Adviser Representative
-
How to Make Changing Interest Rates Work for Your Retirement
Higher (or lower) rates can be painful in some ways and helpful in others. The key is being prepared to take advantage of the situation.
By Phil Cooper
-
Within Five Years of Retirement? Five Things to Do Now
If you're retiring in the next five years, your to-do list should contain some financial planning and, according to current retirees, a few life goals, too.
By Evan T. Beach, CFP®, AWMA®
-
The Home Stretch: Seven Essential Steps for Pre-Retirees
The decade before retirement is the home stretch in the race to quit work — but there are crucial financial decisions to make before you reach the finish line.
By Mike Dullaghan, AIF®
-
Three Options for Retirees With Concentrated Stock Positions
If a significant chunk of your portfolio is tied up in a single stock, you'll need to make sure it won't disrupt your retirement and legacy goals. Here's how.
By Evan T. Beach, CFP®, AWMA®
-
Four Reasons It May Be Time to Shop for New Insurance
You may be unhappy with your insurance for any number of reasons, so once you've decided to shop, what is appropriate (or inappropriate) timing?
By Karl Susman, CPCU, LUTCF, CIC, CSFP, CFS, CPIA, AAI-M, PLCS
-
Before You Invest Like a Politician, Consider This Dilemma
As apps that track congressional stock trading become more popular, investors need to take into consideration some caveats.
By Ryan K. Snover, Investment Adviser Representative
-
How to Put Together Your Personal Net Worth Statement
Now that tax season is over for most of us, it's the perfect time to organize your assets and liabilities to assess your financial wellness.
By Denise McClain, JD, CPA