When they discuss the future, couples in their 50s and 60s often put the focus on their children and grandchildren or the needs of their aging parents. If they get around to talking about themselves at all, they might discuss an upcoming vacation or something that needs fixing around the house.
But what they tend to skip over is what will happen to them once they retire—and that's a mistake.
What will their life together look like? Do their individual visions match up or is there a complete disconnect?
Sign up for Kiplinger’s Free E-Newsletters
Profit and prosper with the best of expert advice on investing, taxes, retirement, personal finance and more - straight to your e-mail.
Profit and prosper with the best of expert advice - straight to your e-mail.
I'm amazed at the basic issues couples haven't talked about together before they come to talk to their financial professionals. Here are a few that stand out:
1. What does retirement mean to each of you?
Maybe one of you wants to travel, and the other wants to spend more time at home, gardening or helping out with the grandkids. That's okay—as long as you have a plan to make it work. Talk about your goals and dreams now so you can work toward making them mesh later on.
2. At what age do you plan to retire?
It's surprising how often couples ignore this topic—and then argue about it later. Some are disappointed when they learn their spouse doesn't want to head off into the sunset as soon as possible. Others—worried about money or if they'll get along if they're together all the time—push for age 70 or beyond. A 2011 Fidelity study found that 62% of couples didn't agree on the appropriate retirement age. Discuss your concerns now.
3. How much money do you have—and where is it?
In most households, one person takes on the bulk of the responsibility for handling the money. And that's fine. But there's no excuse for being totally clueless about your retirement income. Both spouses should know their financial professional, and stay up on what's happening with savings and investments. Also, both you should be aware of where the paperwork is filed and whose name is on what.
4. What is your idea of risk?
Women tend to be more risk-averse than men, but sometimes it's the other way around. Regardless, I've watched many clients go wide-eyed when they saw what their spouse was willing to gamble with the hope of getting a bigger payback. Make sure you're on the same page on this one, or it could lead to bitterness and resentment in the future.
5. What happens to your income when one of you dies?
This takes the third point above a little bit further: Both spouses should know about pension rules, Social Security changes and insurance payouts. Don't make the mistake of thinking that when you're gone, your spouse will only need half as much money. There should be a plan in place to cover the surviving spouse's needs.
6. Are you going to leave money to your kids? If so, how much?
Don't assume everything you have left when you die will go to your children. Taxes and other costs can eat away at your legacy. Talk to each other about how you want to handle your estate—and then talk to a qualified financial professional and attorney.
When you have these retirement conversations, expect to have some disagreements, but keep looking for compromise. And don't hesitate to consult your financial professional—or a marriage counselor—for some assistance.
Steve Fullerton is co-founder of Fullerton Financial Planning and is FINRA licensed with Series 7, 63 and 66, as well as health and life. He is the founder and president of Kingdom Financial Group LLC, a Registered Investment Advisor with the SEC.
Stephanie Fullerton and Kim Franke-Folstad contributed to this article.
Investment advisory services offered through Kingdom Financial Group LLC, an SEC Registered Investment Adviser. We are an independent firm helping individuals make retirement income planning more successful by using a variety of strategies to custom suit their needs and objectives. By contacting us you may be provided information about insurance products and investment opportunities. Annuity product guarantees are subject to the claims-paying ability of the issuing company, and are not offered by Kingdom Financial Group LLC.
-
Vanguard Is 50! Here's How It Has Made Investing BetterVanguard was established by John C. Bogle in May 1975, and the fund manager's impact on investing has been revolutionary.
-
Should You Give up a Car in Retirement?If you own two cars, shedding one might be easier than you think. The freedom from rising vehicle expenses can bring relief to retirees.
-
Have You Reviewed Your 401(k) Beneficiary Designations Lately?If you've had any life changes — marriage, divorce, a new baby or retirement — you might want to make sure your beneficiaries are in order.
-
How 401(k) Auto Portability Boosts Women's Retirement SavingsWomen already face an uphill battle when saving for retirement. Auto portability tech transfers their 401(k)s when they change jobs, which can add up over time.
-
Why Gray Divorce Happens and Five Ways to Avoid ItEmotional intelligence is a key ingredient in a relationship's long-term success, and it can be learned or strengthened at any age. A psychologist explains how.
-
Four Times DIY Investors Should Talk to a Financial AdviserWhile it's possible to manage investments without professional help, there are times when independent guidance from a professional may be invaluable.
-
Don't Veer Off Course at the First Sign of a Squall in the MarketsWhen markets go nuts and investor sentiment drops, you can keep your sanity by trusting in and sticking with your long-term plan.
-
How Business Owners Can Prepare for a Terminal DiagnosisThe most important thing is readiness, whether the owner faces a life-changing diagnosis or an employee does.
-
Advisers, Take Note: How 2025 Social Security Changes May Impact Your ClientsWhat financial advisers might need to know to help their clients navigate Social Security in 2025.
-
Social Security Is Taxable, But There Are WorkaroundsIf you're strategic about your retirement account withdrawals, you can potentially minimize the taxes you'll pay on your Social Security benefits.
