I Do Not Like Investing Spam!

Practical Investing

I Do Not Like Investing Spam!

Our practical investor has good rhyme and reason for blocking out investing noise.

Now that we’ve stowed
all the holiday bags,
the boxes, the toys,
the gift-giving tags,
your Practical Investor
got a Grinchy-Grinch thought
that has something to do with
the stocks that she’s bought.

You see, in the process
of researching those stocks,
I signed up at Web sites
that promised their thoughts.

Seeking Alpha, GuruFocus,
TraderPlanet, YCharts,
Value Line, Motley Fool,
Zacks, some upstarts.

Day in and day out, they
send me their news,
research and stock quotes,
and plenty of views.

One says “Buy!”
The other screams “Sell!”
Both say “Act quick!
Before the closing bell!”

Sponsored Content

Apple and Intel?
They say that they’re dying.
“No Lockheed. No Seagate.
Sell quick! We’re not lying!”

“Buy solar! Buy pharma!
Buy stocks that sell smokes!
Pay attention to us!
We’re serious blokes!”

I fret and I worry.
Do they know something new?
Or is this just opinion,
an uninformed view?
Sage advice is nice—
but when just opinion,
every Tom, Dick and Sally
can claim that dominion.

Check the writer’s credentials,
and yours might be prouder.
The difference with bloggers
is just that they’re louder.

Half the advice is plain wrong—
if you track it, you know it.
And this money’s your future.
It’s bad if you blow it.

But the things that they say
still stick in your mind,
making you wonder if
you’re deluded or blind.

So we investors must fight—
fight to keep poise,
when dealing with the market’s
noise, noise, Noise, NOISE.

The problem I see with
all the noise that they’ve made
is their thoughts and opinions
may cause you to trade.

Unless a move is compelling,
it makes sense to stall it.
Too much buying and selling
is bad for your wallet.

All trades cost money.
They mean taxes and fees.
Do them too often,
and returns fall to their knees.

In studies by professors
Odean and Barber,
they make a great case
that your money goes farther
when you buy solid firms
with finances like rocks.
You should hold them forever—
just sit on their stocks.

Watch them with faith,
like Horton would do
(when hatching Mayzie’s egg,
or hearing a Who).

We must keep our own counsel
when investing our money;
frittering it away causes
results that aren’t funny.

Research your stocks, look at
earnings and cash flow.
Keep your ears open for the
things you should know.

But when pundits start
screaming, you should not blink.
The best way to invest is to be
quiet and think.

This is a journey.
It’s not a short race.
When investing your cash,
set your own pace.

I hope that this column
was not too abstruse.
I send thanks and apologies
to the good Dr. Seuss.