Quiz | February 2012

Do You Know How to Handle Awkward Money Moments?

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When a group goes out to dinner, the question inevitably arises: How should you split the check -- especially when some members of the group order filet mignon and a bottle of cabernet while others stick to the chicken and iced tea? We asked etiquette experts if it’s kosher to simply pay your share or if it’s better to bite the bullet and split it evenly. We also picked their brains about how to deal with other sticky money matters. Test your financial etiquette know-how when it comes to handling these uncomfortable situations.

By Lisa Gerstner, March 2012

Quiz

Do You Know How to Handle Awkward Money Moments?

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Question 1 of 10

You regularly go out to eat with a group of friends. They usually order more-expensive meals and drinks than you do -- and split the bill evenly at the end.

A. Before the meal, ask your server to give you a separate check.
B. Split it evenly with them.
C. Ask that each person pay a separate amount.
D. Pitch in what you think is fair.

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Quiz

Do You Know How to Handle Awkward Money Moments?

Thinkstock

Question 1 of 10

You regularly go out to eat with a group of friends. They usually order more-expensive meals and drinks than you do -- and split the bill evenly at the end.

You're right! A. Before the meal, ask your server to give you a separate check. is correct.

Sorry, wrong! is incorrect.

The right answer is A. Before the meal, ask your server to give you a separate check..

If you often go out with people who tend to order pricey meals and drinks while you stick to the budget-priced items, it’s okay to ask your server for a separate check before the meal, says Daniel Post Senning, of the Emily Post Institute. In fact, your fellow diners may appreciate the move: They can order as much as they want without feeling as though they’re imposing on you.

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Quiz

Do You Know How to Handle Awkward Money Moments?

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Question 2 of 10

You’re not well-acquainted with most of your dinner companions. You didn’t drink any of the wine they ordered, and you’re surprised when they suggest splitting the check evenly.

A. At the end of the meal, ask your server to give you a separate check.
B. Ask that each person pay a separate amount.
C. Split it evenly with them.
D. Pitch in what you think is fair.

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Quiz

Do You Know How to Handle Awkward Money Moments?

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Question 2 of 10

You’re not well-acquainted with most of your dinner companions. You didn’t drink any of the wine they ordered, and you’re surprised when they suggest splitting the check evenly.

You're right! C. Split it evenly with them. is correct.

Sorry, wrong! is incorrect.

The right answer is C. Split it evenly with them. .

Ideally, everyone at the table will offer their fair share. But if people you don’t know well want to divvy up the check evenly, it’s probably best to go along with it. The same goes if you regularly eat out with certain friends and the price of your meal is usually about the same as theirs. "You’d hope that in a group of friends, this comes out in the wash," says manners and lifestyle expert Thomas P. Farley. "You do not want to be the person who's whipping out the calculator."

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Do You Know How to Handle Awkward Money Moments?

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Question 3 of 10

You're asked to pitch in for a group gift at the office, but there's bad blood between you and the recipient.

A. Make a small contribution to keep the peace.
B. Say that you can't afford to contribute.
C. Explain that you don't get along with the recipient.
D. Simply decline.

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Do You Know How to Handle Awkward Money Moments?

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Question 3 of 10

You're asked to pitch in for a group gift at the office, but there's bad blood between you and the recipient.

You're right! D. Simply decline. is correct.

Sorry, wrong! is incorrect.

The right answer is D. Simply decline..

You're under no obligation to participate or to explain why you're turning down the request, Senning says. The organizer shouldn't pressure you. If requests for money at the office become overwhelming, Farley suggests bringing up the issue with colleagues you trust. Chances are they feel the same way. In that case, you could suggest changing the practice rather than eliminating it -- say, having a once-a-year office birthday party rather than buying a gift or going out to lunch for each one.

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Do You Know How to Handle Awkward Money Moments?

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Question 4 of 10

Your parents ask how much you'll be making at your new job, but you'd rather not say.

A. Walk away.
B. Tell them how much you make.
C. Ask them why they want to know.
D. None of the above.

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Do You Know How to Handle Awkward Money Moments?

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Question 4 of 10

Your parents ask how much you'll be making at your new job, but you'd rather not say.

You're right! C. Ask them why they want to know. is correct.

Sorry, wrong! is incorrect.

The right answer is C. Ask them why they want to know..

In response to an intrusive question about your finances, ask (in a friendly tone) why they want to know, says Jodi R.R. Smith, president of etiquette consultant Mannersmith. Your parents may want to ensure that you can cover your bills. Once you know the root of the question, you can respond appropriately, Smith says. Explain to Mom and Dad that you have your finances under control. If the question comes up again, Smith suggests saying, "I don't feel like discussing this now. I hope you understand."

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Do You Know How to Handle Awkward Money Moments?

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Question 5 of 10

A friend asks you to donate to his cause, but you would rather choose your own charity.

A. Politely decline.
B. Tell him no and explain that you dislike the charity.
C. Make a small donation.
D. Direct him to friends or co-workers who might contribute.

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Do You Know How to Handle Awkward Money Moments?

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Question 5 of 10

A friend asks you to donate to his cause, but you would rather choose your own charity.

You're right! A. Politely decline. is correct.

Sorry, wrong! is incorrect.

The right answer is A. Politely decline..

A polite no is an acceptable response, Senning says. You can tell your friend the reason if you wish, but you don't have to. (Be diplomatic. If you're refusing because you dislike the charity, don't badmouth a cause that is obviously important to him.) Soften your response by complimenting your friend -- for example, tell him that you admire his generosity. And keep in mind that if the people who are asking you for money have donated to your causes in the past, there's a higher expectation that you'll pitch in for theirs.

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Do You Know How to Handle Awkward Money Moments?

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Question 6 of 10

You want to gather donations for your favorite charity. Who shouldn't you ask?

A. Your social media connections.
B. Employees you supervise at work.
C. Close friends and family.
D. People whose causes you've supported.

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Do You Know How to Handle Awkward Money Moments?

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Question 6 of 10

You want to gather donations for your favorite charity. Who shouldn't you ask?

You're right! B. Employees you supervise at work. is correct.

Sorry, wrong! is incorrect.

The right answer is B. Employees you supervise at work. .

Petitioning people who work for you puts them in an uncomfortable position, Farley says. "They're going to think, 'If I don't give money, does that mean I'm not going to get a raise this year? Am I going to be passed over for a promotion?' " Among friends and family, ask those who would likely be interested in the cause, Senning says. Requesting donations on your Facebook page or Twitter account is a low-pressure way to ask friends and family members for money.

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Do You Know How to Handle Awkward Money Moments?

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Question 7 of 10

Your roommate's significant other spends most of his time at your apartment, but he doesn't help pay rent or other expenses.

A. Bring up the issue with your roommate.
B. Mention it to your roommate's significant other.
C. Kick him out.
D. Let it go.

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Do You Know How to Handle Awkward Money Moments?

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Question 7 of 10

Your roommate's significant other spends most of his time at your apartment, but he doesn't help pay rent or other expenses.

You're right! A. Bring up the issue with your roommate. is correct.

Sorry, wrong! is incorrect.

The right answer is A. Bring up the issue with your roommate..

Tell your roommate that you want to talk to her alone, and designate a time and place to do it -- over brunch, for instance, Smith says. If you're otherwise happy with the situation, let your roommate know, and open a discussion about what's fair for him to pitch in for household expenses. Be aware that your roommate may decide to move out and get an apartment with him -- or, if your name isn't on the lease, that she could ask you to move out. But it's important to have the conversation, Smith says. Otherwise, you'll likely resent both of them.

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Do You Know How to Handle Awkward Money Moments?

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Question 8 of 10

You're concerned that a friend lives beyond his means -- and he just charged a trip to Europe on his credit card.

A. Ask him how he's paying for it.
B. Suggest that he set up a budget.
C. Advise him to cancel the trip.
D. Don't say anything.

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Do You Know How to Handle Awkward Money Moments?

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Question 8 of 10

You're concerned that a friend lives beyond his means -- and he just charged a trip to Europe on his credit card.

You're right! D. Don't say anything. is correct.

Sorry, wrong! is incorrect.

The right answer is D. Don't say anything..

Unless his financial habits significantly affect you (for example, because you share an apartment or you've cosigned a loan for him), it's none of your business, says Smith. But if he asks you for advice or suggests that he's in financial trouble -- say, by mentioning that he doesn't know how he'll pay for the trip -- it's okay to approach the topic, Smith says. A sample conversation starter: "I don't mean to pry, but you have mentioned in the past that you have a hard time paying off your credit cards, and now you booked a trip you may not be able to afford. I'd be happy to help you with a budget plan."

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Do You Know How to Handle Awkward Money Moments?

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Question 9 of 10

A family member asks you for a loan, but you're not comfortable lending to her.

A. Tell her that you don't lend to friends and family members (even if you have).
B. Say no, but offer to help in some other way.
C. Offer to cosign a loan for her instead.
D. Make the loan.

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Do You Know How to Handle Awkward Money Moments?

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Question 9 of 10

A family member asks you for a loan, but you're not comfortable lending to her.

You're right! B. Say no, but offer to help in some other way. is correct.

Sorry, wrong! is incorrect.

The right answer is B. Say no, but offer to help in some other way..

In all likelihood, the one asking for the loan is as uncomfortable as you are. "It's a real ego blow to have to go to friends and family for money," Farley says. "It's probably the last resort, and nobody wants to do it." Be conciliatory as you decline, and don't make up a reason for your refusal that isn't true.

Help out in another way if you can. Farley suggests that you offer to be a job reference, for instance. (But avoid cosigning a loan, especially if you question the borrower's ability to repay it. You'll likely be asked to pay up if she defaults, and your credit rating would be on the line.) If you do lend money to someone, you can boost your chances of being repaid by putting the agreement in writing with explicit terms, such as interest required and payment due dates. LendingKarma.com and LoanBack.com set up legally binding loans for you, including payment schedules, recordkeeping and e-mail reminders; each site charges a $30 fee for those services. At Prosper.com, a borrower could take out a Friends and Family loan from just you or from multiple people. The site arranges automatic bank-account withdrawals free and charges a closing fee as a percentage of the loan.

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Do You Know How to Handle Awkward Money Moments?

Question 10 of 10

A friend asks you to be in her wedding party, but you don't want to fork out for a designer bridesmaid dress and a bachelorette party in Vegas.

A. Have an honest discussion with the bride about it.
B. Tell her that you'd love to come but that you can't be a bridesmaid.
C. Offer to participate in the wedding in another way.
D. All of the above.

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Do You Know How to Handle Awkward Money Moments?

Question 10 of 10

A friend asks you to be in her wedding party, but you don't want to fork out for a designer bridesmaid dress and a bachelorette party in Vegas.

You're right! D. All of the above. is correct.

Sorry, wrong! is incorrect.

The right answer is D. All of the above. .

Talk to the bride about your concerns. If she offers to cover your expenses, Farley says, you can accept. If not, you may still be able to participate in the wedding -- say, by singing or doing a reading at the service. That will show the couple that you're eager to be involved, and it could alleviate hurt feelings if you've already agreed to be in someone else's wedding party.

You probably know whether close friends and family members are likely to be engaged soon, Senning says, and you can head off a sticky situation by thinking ahead. You may want to turn down an invitation to be in a friend's wedding, for example, if you expect your sister to become engaged shortly. And if you don't think you'll be able to fulfill maid of honor or best man duties, better to be a bridesmaid or a groomsman instead.

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Do You Know How to Handle Awkward Money Moments?

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Quiz | February 2012

Do You Know How to Handle Awkward Money Moments?

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Do You Know How to Handle Awkward Money Moments?

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Do You Know How to Handle Awkward Money Moments?

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Do You Know How to Handle Awkward Money Moments?

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Do You Know How to Handle Awkward Money Moments?

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Do You Know How to Handle Awkward Money Moments?

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