My husband and I are quarreling about whether our very well-behaved 18-year-old son, who is in a charter high school and still has seven courses to take, should pay rent to us now. My husband says yes. I say no, because he hasn't finished school (he is behind because of a learning problem).

Our son works full-time at McDonald's, and he pays for cell phones for himself and his 16-year-old girlfriend. He is also trying to establish credit. My husband thinks he could help Patrick if he asks him to pay $300 a month in rent and to put $150 aside for a car or moving-out expenses. He says it isn't about the money but rather the responsibility.

I think Patrick shouldn't have to worry about rent while he's in school. I thought we could compromise by asking him to put $150 into his own savings account each month. He would have to show us his statement to ensure that he's being responsible.

Patrick doesn't think he should pay rent at all while he is in school. He paid rent for one month -- and when he did, he thought it was okay not to do his chores or tell us where he was going or how long he was going to be out.

So while he is in school, I think it would be better to let him concentrate on his homework, his job and his responsibilities as a family member. What do you think?

This is a tough one. Generally I don't recommend charging kids rent while they're still in high school. At 18, your son is on the cusp of adulthood, but it's important that his top priority be getting that diploma. Pitching in graciously around the house is also a sign of maturity that your son apparently hasn't mastered yet. It sounds as if you may be able to exert more influence by continuing your parent-child relationship, rather than landlord-tenant, at least until he graduates.

But as a parent providing a roof over your son's head, you are entitled to a say in how he spends his full-time income. I'd suggest a further compromise: Require him to save, say, $250 or $300 a month. Rather than rent, call it his moving-out fund or his continuing-education fund, but put it aside to be given to him when he graduates.

And if he's still hanging around then, officially charge him rent.

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