I'm the mother of 7-year-old twins. One of my biggest frustrations is feeling as if I have to spend money just because my daughters are part of a group and I don't want them to feel left out.

A case in point: My daughters' soccer coach asked if the girls wanted to play indoor soccer this winter. The whole team said yes. The cost is $53 per child (or $106 for this mom with twins). The coach then sent out an e-mail saying that she had found some cute soccer uniforms online at $20 for the shirt and shorts, and would we be interested in getting them. Several parents quickly responded yes, which prompted me to send the following e-mail to the group:

"We will go along with whatever the group agrees to. But since I have to buy two sets, my preference would be to spend the $40 on something else. We have so many T-shirts from different activities that we'll never get around to wearing them all. And the indoor season is only for six games."

The coach later e-mailed me to say the group consensus was to get the uniforms. She suggested that I purchase only the shirts and use regular soccer uniform shorts. I, of course, didn't want my twins to feel slighted and ended up ordering the whole thing.

Now I'm wondering whether I should have just kept my mouth shut and ignored the fact that winter soccer is costing $25 a game, not counting the gas to get there and back. Sign me, A Cheapskate Mom.

As a veteran soccer mom, I have a number of observations.

At one point, my husband coached teams for each of our three children. Not only did he never suggest a separate uniform for the winter off-season, he was also conscious of regular-season costs. He tried to get in as many seasons as possible without switching uniforms.

Even when our kids moved on and played for other coaches, they never had to buy special duds for indoor soccer. However, I did notice that teams we played sometimes whipped up their own uniforms using plain T-shirts and marking pens -- a creative and often amusing alternative.

Aside from the cost, your daughters' coach is sending the wrong message to young girls. It's not the clothes that matter, it's the game.

I'm surprised and sorry you didn't get more support from other parents. Sign me, Another Cheapskate Mom.

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