Santa's mailbag isn't the only one that overflows as the holidays approach. While the kids send their wish lists to the North Pole, I hear from their parents and grandparents -- most of whom are seeking advice about how to get through the giving season without going overboard.

One approach is to drop out of the shopping madness. Last year, after reading a spate of stories about families who had decided not to give gifts, I asked my children how they'd feel about spending our holiday money on a family trip instead.

They weren't buying it. Apparently, not even the prospect of a vacation beats the thrill of tearing open a mysterious wrapped package -- even if it turns out to contain a pair of socks.

So, if we must buy to satisfy our kids' expectations, the challenge remains to make the most of our consumer society without being consumed by it. In this and a subsequent column, I'll give my answers to frequently asked questions on how to enjoy the holidays without letting greed get the better of us and our kids.

My kids make wish lists a mile long. What should I do?

What you shouldn't do is buy everything they ask for. Kids may want lots of stuff, but they don't actually expect to get it. Sometimes just writing things down eases the buy-me-that pressure.

Children frequently make -- and misplace -- any number of lists before settling on a final draft. Tell them point-blank which items aren't in the cards, and have them rank, say, their top five choices among what's left. It's a lesson in setting priorities. And the shorter the list, the more likely Santa will remember what's on it.

When we tell our kids they can't have something, they say they'll just ask Santa for it.

Tell your kids that you and Santa are a team. He's not about to go against your wishes -- and jeopardize his job -- by bringing gifts that you think are too expensive, too dangerous or otherwise objectionable.

Should we give our kids money to buy family gifts, or make them use their own?

Kids feel better about using their own cash, whether it's allowance, savings, money they've earned by doing extra chores, or even a holiday bonus as a reward for managing money well during the year.

If they're short on cash, encourage them to chip in with siblings or to make handmade gifts.

Next: Holiday Gifts for Kids

MORE: Kiplinger.com | Spending Wisely | Column

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